I feel like giving up! Help!

[psychomamma]

Hi everyone! I have had my equipment for three nights. The first night I thought it was the noise that wouldn't let me go to sleep and got lots of good advice here. I have my equipment down low now, with a fleece cover for my hoses. The noise of the machine doesn't bother me. I have a Swift LT for her mask, and it's very comfortable. I can get in all my regular sleeping positions, I don't feel claustrophobic or anything like that. There seems to be no issue at all.

But when I get in bed and lie down - and I wait until I'm very tired and ready to sleep - I just lay there for 2-3 hours, unable to fall asleep. I'm a yoga and meditation practitioner, so my mind is not racing around - I'm right in that relaxed place just before you fall asleep, but I just can't cross over into sleep. Two nights ago, I even took an Ambien to help - which has never done anything but knock me RIGHT out - and I laid there for hours. After about 3 hours, I usually just give up, take the mask off and sleep.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid my brain is making associations at this point: Mask + machine = no sleep. You know what I mean? I just don't know how to proceed. Do I just keep doing this every night hoping that at some point, sleep will result?

The other problem, which I consider more minor, because I don't know that it would be bothering me if I were asleep - is that after about 2 hours, I am filled up with air and just burp, burp, burp. I know that my mouth is not falling open, because I'm still awake! It isn't painful, but once that starts happening, it just gives just one more preventative towards falling asleep.

Any help or advice you can give would be helpful. I'm FAR more exhausted on the machine so far than I was off of it.

Lisa...

[BleepingBeauty]

Hi, Lisa.

Sorry you're having so much difficulty. There are tons of posts here on the subject of aerophagia (swallowing air) and how to alleviate it. Up above the list of threads to the right, under Popular Tags, click on "aerophagia" for a listing of threads on that topic.

Hope that helps a little. Good luck.

[ozij]

I'm sorry I can't help you with the burping, but I do have a suggestion about creating the right associations:

If you're not asleep within 20 minutes, get up, do something relaxing till you feel ready to sleep, and go back to bed with the mask on. Not asleep withing 20 minutes? Get up again and repeat. Repeat as many times as necessary.

The deal you have to make with yourself is pretty simple:
Sleep time means mask time. If you can't sleep, my dear self, no problem, we're getting up.

Staying awake in bed till you take your mask off is very bad -- because your are actually reinforcing yourself for not sleeping. The part of you that wants to return to those good old maskless days is learning that if it will keep you awake long enough, you'll go back to maskless sleeping. Why should it let you fall asleep?

And the part of you the wants this therapy to succeed just can't let that happen.

So: you get up after 20 minutes. You don't stay in bed longer with the mask, because part of you clearly isn't ready to sleep yet -- and you want to be kind to that part -- this therapy is not about forcing yourself to sleep. You listen to "I can't sleep", accept it, and get up, but your are also kindly firm about "sleep will happen only when the mask is on".

Good luck!

[BlackSpinner]

I'm a yoga and meditation practitioner, so my mind is not racing around - I'm right in that relaxed place just before you fall asleep, but I just can't cross over into sleep.

Now is the time to take your practice to a new level. Since you can already get into a meditative trance you now need to use it to re program your mind. When you are in your meditative trance (and you may need to do this during the day also) add affirmations. "I sleep quickly and easily with my mask and machine" "The sound of my machine makes me sleepy" " I sleep deeply and easily with my mask" and anything else that you can think off - always in the present tense always positive( not "my mask will not prevent me sleeping" that is negative and future tense - your toddler type subconscious doesn't know future or the word NO) ! Repeat repeat repeat! You may also want to write them down in a journal and say them while practicing your yoga so not matter which way you learn you are accessing your subconscious.

[psychomamma]

Thanks guys -- some very good suggestions....

so much like when I work (I'm a therapist) with depression clients....what you need to do to make it better requires energy you don't have....

Unlike many people here, I was exhausted with my sleep apnea, but I am a person who powers through everything, so I hadn't lost interest in things I enjoy, etc. etc......that's happening now, WITH my machine! This is crazy stuff....

[SleeplessInNyack]

Hi,

I think 3 days is too soon to worry about not being able to sleep with the machine. I'm on week five and I think I am just now getting somewhat used to the machine. I've had many frustrating nights where I feel that the machine kept me up all night. I think just doing it night after night the mind and body finally gets used it.

Regards,
Sleepless

[momadams]

You've gotten some good advice.
In my early days, I needed to have the tape player on when I went to bed - Prairie Home Companion April Fools Edition, of all things. (I have a very patient spouse). Don't know why - I just needed something to distract me from this new situation.

And then there's the good old "Tell your brain 3 things it knows is true and it will believe the fourth thing you tell it"

I had aerophagia issues in the beginning - they went away as my body acclimated.

shari

[carbonman]

I'm a yoga and meditation practitioner, Lisa...

Lisa, I wrote this after two mths of therapy.
Yes the first few nights were terrible.......
These thoughts and experiences ring as true today as the day that I recorded them.
-----------------------------------------------------
Zen-direct experiential realizations toward obtaining an awakening.
The practice to discover, through daily, or in this case, nightly,
experiences that will lead one to ultimate enlightment.

All things are brought to each of us, for a reason.
Why OSA???

In OSA therapy, the mask, is everything.

What is the Zen of the Mask??

These are some immediate, superficial experiences:

Anger:
Why is this happening to me?

Courage-
to attend the sleep study
to know/accept the results
to take responsibility for myself and my therapy

Patience-
to deal w/the sleep study
to deal w/the DME
to deal w/your inner self
in dealing w/the mask

Frustration-
in accepting the results
in obtaining equipment for therapy
in dealing w/the mask

Antisipation-
can this help me?
can I be well again?

Enjoyment-
the first night that you accept the mask
the first morning that you feel that something has changed
the first night, w/hours of sleep
the first night you feel comfortable w/the mask
entrance into a whole new world of friends and experiences

Yin/Yang of life-
MY choice to embrace or reject, the mask, and in so doing,
chose quality of life.

The mask has come as an incredible blessing.
Have I paid a Karmic dept in the years of suffering the fatigue and pain?
Have I proved through my actions that I earned this blessing?

Whatever it is, this entire process and recovery that I am going through,
is having a profound effect on me, both physically and spiritually.
This is not just the mechanics of blowing air up your nose.

I don't know, yet, what the true Zen of the Mask is.
It will come over time, with more experience.

What is your Zen of the Mask?