The phone!

[Juliebove]

What do you do when the phone rings and you have your CPAP mask on? Because my husband is in the military, we tend to get calls at all hours of the day or night. Normally they call his cell phone. But get this! When the cell phone is busy, they call our house phone. This just makes no sense to me. Maybe you don't get a busy signal on a cell phone? I don't know. Any any rate, he can't be talking on two phones at once so all I can do is tell the person he will call back.

I also tend to sleep only 5 hours at night, then go back to bed after my daughter is off to school. At first I could not bring myself to put the CPAP back on after I went back to bed. But I knew this wasn't the right thing to do, so I've been trying to do that. Trying.

Well, today the phone rang and rang. Not just the house phone but my cell phone too and that was in a different room. I don't normally get this many calls at one time. But my husband was bored. When he is bored, he has been known to call the house or my cell phone over and over for no apparent reason. Sometimes he even does this from within the house. Did I mention he has the day off today? Grrr... So some of the calls were from him and some were legit calls.

Time and time again, I shut off the machine, and pulled off the mask, hoping to get to the phone in time. By the time the cell phone rang, I just gave up. Pulled the mask off and realized I couldn't make it to the phone in time.

I just left the mask off and went back to sleep. So what do you do when the phone keeps ringing and ringing?

[El Pap]

I have my answering machine in the bedroom, so I can screen calls. Anything less than I true emergency I'll just go back to sleep and return the call in the morning.

[Wulfman]

Got an answering machine? If not, get one and then turn the ringer off. Cell phones can be turned off, too.

If your husband is that "juvenile" or whatever that he needs to be calling you all the time, he needs to be "dealt with" in some way that he gets the message.


Den

[Debjax]

I just left the mask off and went back to sleep. So what do you do when the phone keeps ringing and ringing?

I turn the ringer off and let the machine in the living room get it.

[Hose_Head]

What do you do when the phone rings and you have your CPAP mask on? Because my husband is in the military, we tend to get calls at all hours of the day or night. Normally they call his cell phone. But get this! When the cell phone is busy, they call our house phone. This just makes no sense to me. Maybe you don't get a busy signal on a cell phone? I don't know. Any any rate, he can't be talking on two phones at once so all I can do is tell the person he will call back.

I also tend to sleep only 5 hours at night, then go back to bed after my daughter is off to school. At first I could not bring myself to put the CPAP back on after I went back to bed. But I knew this wasn't the right thing to do, so I've been trying to do that. Trying.

Well, today the phone rang and rang. Not just the house phone but my cell phone too and that was in a different room. I don't normally get this many calls at one time. But my husband was bored. When he is bored, he has been known to call the house or my cell phone over and over for no apparent reason. Sometimes he even does this from within the house. Did I mention he has the day off today? Grrr... So some of the calls were from him and some were legit calls.

Time and time again, I shut off the machine, and pulled off the mask, hoping to get to the phone in time. By the time the cell phone rang, I just gave up. Pulled the mask off and realized I couldn't make it to the phone in time.

I just left the mask off and went back to sleep. So what do you do when the phone keeps ringing and ringing?

I'm forever astounded by how people allow convenience devices (yes, the telephone is a convenience device) to exert complete control over their lives. Just turn the damn things off! Use that related convenience device, the answering machine. Your sleep is more important.

And as someone else wrote, deal with that selfish husband of yours. He's not getting the message that it's your health that he's messing with. Point out that "if momma's not happy, nobody's happy". And make it stick!

[Juliebove]

I have an answering machine, but like I said, my husband is in the military so on call 24/7. Which is one reason I insisted he get his own cell phone. We used to just have the one and since I am disabled and usually have our daughter with us when I go out, he insisted I carry it with me. Most of the calls were for him so it was rather silly.

I can not let the machine answer calls at home (although sometimes I have no choice, like when I'm in the bathroom) because for one reason he is on call. And for another if it is him calling and I don't answer it, he begins leaving a long rambling message on the answering machine, or does something equally annoying like whistling. I am forced to sit and listen to it until he decides to stop because I haven't found any way to shut the machine off.

Most of the time when I am up and have a phone with caller I.D. (the phone in the bedroom doesn't have it) and see that it is him, I merely press the button and hang up on him. I have told him it's getting like the boy who cried wolf. One day something will happen and he will need to get a hold of me, but I won't answer.

[TheDreamer]

I don't know about busy...but if there's no answer on my cell phone (when I'm linked to the on call number), they try my home number (which simul-rings my cell phone) and then my work number (which simul-rings my cell phone)....and then they repeat the sequence of calling home and then work numbers of co-workers. Until they actually talk to somebody (they'll leave messages on voicemail, but that doesn't end the call search to get somebody).

I keep putting the cellphone out of reach when I'm masked into my bed....even when I'm on call. But, that's pretty much the only near the bedroom thing that makes noise. The phones for my home number aren't in the bedroom. And, the ones near the bedroom have the ringers turned off. Though I do have a plain line powered phone in the bedroom with no ringer, for emergencies. But that's on a different number...and exists because I have DSL .... though they have DSL that doesn't require phone service now in my area, so I've thought about asking about that....

I've basically had things this way before I started CPAP....though putting the cell phone somewhere where I can't reach it when I'm wearing my mask, is probably something I may or may not do something about. My alarm clock is also somewhere that I have trouble getting to when I'm masked (but that's because the CPAP machine sent it over to the far nightstand....)

The Dreamer.

[Bearcat42]

Get him a beeper. It's a little old school but they could bother him and leave you alone.

[Juliebove]

Do they even make beepers any more?

[Bearcat42]

HAha. Now thats a really good question. I dont know if anyone even provides the service anymore but it wouldnt hurt to look around at some cellular providers and see. Or maybe even look in the yellow pages, google search, etc...

[Juliebove]

He probably wouldn't use it. He could be sitting right next to the phone and won't get it when it rings. He thinks I am his secretary.

[ozij]

He probably wouldn't use it. He could be sitting right next to the phone and won't get it when it rings. He thinks I am his secretary.

And that's the problem in a nutshell:
Your husband wants you to answer all his phone calls. He's the one who is supposed to be on 24/7 call, but he' using you as a buffer, and demanding you be on call 24/7 - for his callers and for himself.

That kind of controling person can become violent when his wife rebels - think carefully about how you want to handle the situation.

O.

[bdp522]

I agree with Ozij. Since he is in the military you have access to counselors who you can talk to about this. They can help you resolve this problem and it also means someone with authority will be keeping an eye on your well being. I would suggest seeing someone before becoming confrontational with your husband. Sounds like you both need counseling, Him-to stop this controlling behavior, You-to see why you allow it.

Brenda

[dels]

I ignoe the phone and let my machine get it unless it is something really important which I can see on call display. I would get call waiting for the cell phone. That way your husband will get all calls on his cell.

[Ruby Vee]

Your husband's behavior sounds downright abusive. If he's an otherwise all 'round wonderful guy and it's just the phone issues, turn off the ringers, let the answering machine get it and let HIM deal with the consequences (if any.) As far as your cell -- either turn it off or silence it until you're finished sleeping, then return his call of you need to. But if he's controlling in all aspects of life, please se a counseler. They can help you evaluate whether or not you're safe and what steps to take. Good luck.

Ruby Vee (Been there, done that, and have been safe for the last 22 years!)