Awful, awful, awful, awful night--but there is always hope!

[tattooyu]

Last night was a bad night. A really bad night. I was sleeping peacefully for 4 1/2 hours when I was awoken at 2:30 am with a nice surprise: a panic attack. I'm almost positive that it was from a string of apneas that started for no reason I can think of at the moment. Strangely enough, I am at the same pressure that had been working for weeks. I tried to go back to sleep and breathe through it, but it was too late by that point. The stress hormones were already surging through my veins.

So, I stopped my machine, took off my mask and PapCAP and tried to slow my breathing and heart rate (it's not easy during a panic attack). Whenever I have an attack, my gut always hurts. I headed to the bathroom, and the first thing I did was look at myself in the mirror--what a wonderful sight to behold at 2:30 am--and smiled. Then I laughed silently so as not to wake my wife. It was as if I was saying to myself, "Hey, goofball, you're having another panic attack!"

After going to the bathroom, I headed out to the living room, where I proceeded to pace around. For me, I can't sit still during a PA. I tried my therapy breathing; it worked a little bit but not nearly enough. Then, I consciously decided to try and separate my mind from my body sensations. I literally said out loud, quietly so as not to wake my wife or the guinea pig, "My thoughts are NOT my feelings. They are separate. The symptoms in my body are not the same as what my mind is perceiving!"

It wasn't a cure-all. It didn't stop the attack dead in its tracks, as so many web sites suggest it would. But, it was better, and it was shorter.

Now, my aunt use to suffer terribly from panic attacks. She had a stint where they were constant--yes almost all day--for six years. She keeps unusual hours, so I decided to call her at 3 am for support. Once she realized it wasn't an "emergency", she was more than happy to talk me through it. That really helped. We are like two peas in a pod and have always bonded well. It's nice to know that I have a family member I can talk to who knows exactly what I am going through and what comforting I need.

I also made a conscious decision to NOT call in sick from work as exhausted as I am. I really couldn't since my co-worker is on a furlough day, and I'm the only one here to cover the phones. Sure I feel like crap. My chest muscles are sore, I'm a little lightheaded, I'm cold and a bit shaky. But, I'm here. I made it through the night and now through most of the morning. I haven't even touched my Xanax, but I'm glad I have it (and my paper bag for hyperventilation) just in case. I decided to own the day and be as joyous as possible.

Now, I don't know why I had so many apneas last night (AHI = 7.7, AI = 1.6, HI = 6.1, Leakage = 0.00 L/s), and you know what? As long as it doesn't become a pattern, I don't really care. It's one night out of a gazillion in my life. I didn't even bother to check my ResScan this morning. I want to not think about it for one second of the day, you know?

Anyway, that's my story. I plan on getting a better night's sleep tonight.

[raylo]

I'm thinking that you have the right attitude about the one night. I was just reminded how my overall is better since cpap, even with some ups and downs. Hang in there.

[MrSandman]

I know what your going through... I feel for you. The last one I had I just awoke from sleep about 2 hours early with a scared feeling and tried to breath through it and go back to sleep but then thought I couldn't breathe right so I took off the mask and then it just ramped up from there-you read my post. I just can't seem to snap back afterwards very good. It consumes my life for a while.

Hang in there...
Mike

[Diehart]

Wow, that was one hell of the night but you mastered your demons, you should be proud.

[JoyD.]

.
We're pulling for you, Kenny . . .

Joy

[tattooyu]

Thanks everyone. I honestly feel that without the good sleep I have been getting from PAP therapy, I probably would have been in much worse shape last night. I think I'm able to bounce back quicker now.

I've made it through half the day (almost) and no Xanax yet!

[SheZAAM!]

Good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It takes a little more work than taking a Xanax, but you showed that you CAN work through it. Excellent!!!

Your post reminds me of how many days I was at work, feeling like crap (pre-cpap) and just sucked it up and kept working. Glad I don't have to do that anymore.

[Karla1958]

Was it full moon or something last night? I had a very rough night too. I woke up throwing up... thankfully I had fallen to sleep without my cpap mask on, but I did still inhale some of it (I hate that!) So I woke up with a fever of 101.8, which isn't that bad. Usually when I breath in barf it's a fever closer to 104.
Now all my joints hurt bad, it feels like someone is crushing my chest and back ribs, and even my finger joints hurt so much it's hard to type. I also keep having charley horses, spasms or cramps in my legs. This is the weirdest thing. I wonder if this is a part of menopause or some vitamin I'm not taking... I'm at a total loss this time. I feel like I did pre-vitamin D! But now it's getting worse. My doctor won't let me see him, only the nurse practioner or an intern. They suck at my Doc's office. They don't have a clue what they are doing. Besides I have so many overlapping illnesses they usually don't know what to do. But this time the absolutely said I couldn't see the doctor. Grrrr. I think I need to see him. I can hardly move my head today. It feels like it did before the anterior cervical fusion. My arms feel weighted down. And my joints feel hot. I wish there is something I could do. My Doctor won't see me until May 15th! Right now, if it weren't for my cute cats missing me, I would gladly off myself. Even pain meds aren't helping this pain. Anyone ever have anything like this? I roll my head around and it makes my knee hurt. Now that's weird. This can't just be a fibro flare up, can it??? It's so bad! If anyone has any home remedies, please post them. I'm desperate for some help.

It's beautiful here too, nice and sunny. I can't even blame all these body aches and pains on stormy weather or cold weather. Is there a flu going around? Maybe I causght something. I'm going to try to take a muscle relaxor later, maybe that will help.
Help!

Karla

[tattooyu]

Yikes, Karla. I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know about the fever, but aren't hot, painful joints a sign of a fibro flare up? Now, granted, if you do have the flu or something that could definitely explain the achy joints and fever.

Feel better, ya hear!?

[dsm]

tattoyou

Now PA is not what you want on top of your OSA, thats one sandwich with too many fillings of the wrong type.
Good to hear you have a kindred spirit. It seems like this is a genetic patter, possible chemical imbalance ?
The only similar thing I can think of is waking after hyperventilating (doesn't happen any more since going onto an ASV machine).

Good luck

DSM

[tattooyu]

tattoyou

Now PA is not what you want on top of your OSA, thats one sandwich with too many fillings of the wrong type.
Good to hear you have a kindred spirit. It seems like this is a genetic patter, possible chemical imbalance ?
The only similar thing I can think of is waking after hyperventilating (doesn't happen any more since going onto an ASV machine).

Good luck

DSM

You said it, brother! It is familial, but I'm sure the OSA exacerbates it. I really don't know if I have a chemical imbalance. I never even thought about asking my doctor to test me for that.

I think that's what happened. Apnea > Hyperventilation > Panic Attack. I just don't know why I had so many apnea events last night. Oh well. Let's see what happens tonight.

[LoQ]

It is familial, but I'm sure the OSA exacerbates it. I really don't know if I have a chemical imbalance.

We discussed this before. Many heart conditions are genetic, and they are frequently misdiagnosed as panic attacks, especially by patients. You should see a doctor, and make sure you tell him it runs in the family. For some heart conditions, there are medications that can control your heart, which will prevent the feeling of having a panic attack. Then you won't have to put up with this anymore. It isn't fun to have one of these episodes.

[dels]

I hope you have a better night soon.

[DoriC]

Kenny, good advice from LoQ.

Karla, Fever and vomiting is nothing to fool around with. If you're not feeling better maybe the ER would be the next step if you can't get to see your Dr.

[Lee Lee]

I think the body just freaks out when it can't get enough oxygen. And then it's scared to relax.
Hope it's better tonight, I really do.
Lee Ann