Thank you so much for this, Carbonman. I know this is only a middle chapter in your cpap journey, and I'm looking forward to reading about future ones. Even though you've taken other trips since starting cpap therapy, these pictures add a perspective that words can't match. However, combining some of what you've written before with this post and your pictures makes all of it even more moving. So if you'll permit me......
carbonman wrote:How Do You Know... (7/5/08)
that CPAP was helping you??
One week for me.
I haven't slept through the night, yet.
I haven't "felt like a millon dollars", yet.
My life hasn't changed over night, yet.
I am feeling a little better, overall.
One night, I slept for 3 hours, straight.
I still wake up every couple of hours, but I seem to be
going back to sleep faster.
I do seem to have more energy toward the end of the day.
I don't seem to have such a short fuse, it's better.
How or what did you realize/notice, that let you know
CPAP was helping you.
carbonman wrote:Trying To Make Sense (7/21/08)
On my ride yesterday I was pondering
my plunge into the CPAP world.
When I first viewed the results of my sleep study,
I felt like I had been sentenced to prison, by my body.
I thought, this can't be happening. Denial.
The first few nights w/the mask, I was certain that
this was a prison sentence. Anger
As I began to read and learn, I started to realize that
I don't have a choice here. This is my life. Acceptance.
As I have begun to feel better, I think,
that OSA is the prison.....where everynight
I am tortured...and sentenced to a miserable life the next day.
Maybe, just maybe, the mask is the parole officer.
He/she/it, the mask, approves a good nights rest,
and the next day, I am released to a new, brighter day.
Follow the rules, check in everynight and make a good
faith effort to participate....you sleep, and
then you are released from the OSA prison.
Maybe, just maybe, it is not a plunge into the CPAP world,
rather,it is being released from the OSA prison of despair.
Random, rambling thoughts of a rookie hosehead.
carbonman wrote:Reason To Believe (8/10/08)
Tonight will be 6wks on the hose for me.
Everything in my life revolves around cycling.
For the last 6yrs, atleast, I have endured constant fatigue
and chronic pain in my legs, but I love being on the bike
so I rode w/the pain. Over the years I have tried any number
of things, trying to find the answer to stop the pain.
Two months ago, I was sitting in my docs office, saying we
have got to try something different. He looked at me and said,
"you sure do not fit the profile for apnea, but lets do a sleep study."
In any kind of athletics, there are certain things that are important
it you want to enjoy it and excell at your particular activity.
For me there is the on bike fueling, on bike and off bike training,
general nutrition and recovery.
Of all those things, the most important one is recovery, both
nutrition and rest. I have not been getting the rest part for years.
Now I am.
As I feel better and get stronger, each day, little by little, I decided
it was time to put it to a test. How well can I recover over night,
w/cpap.
Yesterday I did a hard climbing ride up Lookout Mt.
42miles 2.7K' vertical w/1.5K' of that coming in the 4.5mile climb
up Lariate Trail. It is a favorite training ride in this area.
I gave it a good effort and finished feeling really strong.
I use Hammer nutrition on bike and recovery products, so
I had a Recoverite/protein shake when I got home and two
balanced meals.
I had a great night on the hose. Still getting used to the Quattro,
but slept much of the night. AHI this am, 4.0. Best I have had
w/the Quattro.
To test my recovery, I planned to do an endurance ride today.
Which I did in fine fashion.
65miles 2.3K' vertical 3:42' I cruised the entire ride. Felt really good.
My legs were abit tight to start but once warmed up, they were fine.
I had a great recovery sleep last night.
So, as I was enjoying this new body that CPAP has brought to me,
I thought about the mask and the machine and how it is almost a living thing.
......so it needs a name.
Grace, as in amazing grace.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!"
It is the sweet sound of the mask and machine that is
saving me, and it did appear about the fourth day
when I stopped fighting the mask and believ'd.
Please keep writing. Eventually, I want a book. Seriously. I'll proof it gratis. No, not exactly gratis. I want a free book.
Excuse me, now that I've re-read these, I want to go back to your current post and tie it all together in my mind. Thank you so much.
Marsha
