Newbie and freaked out

Ado · Post by **Ado** » Thu May 22, 2008 6:59 pm

Hi all,

this is my first post here so please be patient with my sob story .

I was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea (85 events per hour).
Im a very fit surfer of 20 years and according to my specialist, congenital features of my sinus and facial/throat structure are the main culprits.
Ive always been afflicted with lack of energy during the day and always blamed it on the meds i take for Bipolar disorder.

But my partner insisted i see a sleep doctor as my snoring had got worse and i stopped breathing many times an hour. plus, being kicked out of a warm bed containing a warm body is no fun, but my partner is pregnant with our first so she needs her sleep.

anyway, i have my CPAP trial and fitting on Monday and im officially freaked out. My doctor said that i will start feeling better soon.
I dont like the idea of wearing a mask strapped to my face attached to a hose and machine in bed. but who does? im scared that my partner will freak out seeing me with the contraption on my face. also, what if i never get used to it? what if it takes many months to feel better again..im so sick of being tired all day. by the end of a working week, im wrecked beyond belief. than on the weekend i try to be there for my partner.

any tips/support/help for a freaked out newbie?

Adrian

Slinky · Post by **Slinky** » Thu May 22, 2008 7:31 pm

First off, your partner SENT you to the sleep doctor so she must be well aware of the equipment used to treat sleep apnea.

Second off, you just don't put the mask on and turn the xPAP on until you are ready to SLEEP meaning for most people the lights are OUT.

Third, most partners would prefer to wake up to a warm body w/mask and xPAP than a cold, dead body.

You "might" take to xPAP therapy like a duck to water and feel better the very first morning after using it. That's not the usual case but it does happen.

On the other hand, it quite likely wlll take some time to adjust to xPAP therapy. But what's the big deal w/that if you've been sleeping for beans and have always lacked energy and so exhausted for so long? At least w/xPAP therapy there is the promise of restful sleep and feeling energetic in the future. At least now you KNOW that there is a remedy.

It becomes a matter of atittude. Do you WANT xPAP therapy to work for you? You can get used to the mask and xPAP therapy IF YOU WANT TO.

Good luck and God bless. Stick w/us and we'll get you thru this IF YOU WANT to succeed w/xPAP therapy.

goose · Post by **goose** » Thu May 22, 2008 7:48 pm

Dude....Chill!!!!!

It's not as bad as your mind has made it out to be......Really!!!!!

Welcome to the forum!!!! Check out the Yellow lightbulb (our collective wisdom) and the red balloon (CPAP FAQ) for information about apnea, the treatment and answers to some of the questions I'm sure you have swirling around in your head.....

Congratulations on your upcoming event -- that's cool, but your partner obviously loves you and would want you to be around for a while longer!!!! Your CPAP treatment can extend your life measurably!!!! High blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems -- a whole multitude of peripheral problems apnea can cause!! Since I've been on the hose my BP has come down, my blood glucose has more or less stabilized and I no longer feel like I have to sleep all the time....

The mask is the last thing that gets attached when you decide to sleep, so any other, ahem, "activities" shouldn't be affected by your new acquisition.....

It's going to be weird -- I won't lie to ya, but you'll get used to it.
Once you feel better you'll wonder what took you so long.....Just hang in there. If you have issues, come to us and let us know what's up and there are a lot of folks here that will be happy to help. Most of us have already gone through what you're going through so you're not alone....

I haven't seriously surfed in probably 20 years, but if you're in that kind of shape it can only enhance your success!!!! Physical condition can't hurt!!!!

Take it one step at a time. Introduce your partner to your new "toys" with an explanation of what it should accomplish (Stuff you'll learn at the lightbulb or the balloon!!!), how and why etc.....

Take care!!!! Be sure to let us know how you're doing!!!!!
Surf's up!!!!!

cheers
goose

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 22, 2008 7:55 pm

Your Partner will be happy , as you won't snore much any more!

As far as the mask, there are several out there and we tend to find them s-e-x-y Maybe your Partner will too!!!

As GOOSE said Clill Dude, you will be fine!

Goodluck

j.a.taylor · Post by **j.a.taylor** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:10 pm

Welcome,

It's really not as bad as you think.

Once you get adjusted to the idea, and start feeling your energy level increase, you actually find the machine kind of comforting.

The important thing is to find a mask that fits you well, have a machine that can provide you the information you need, and stay plugged into this forum, where there are a lot of great people willing to help.

bigk · Post by **bigk** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:33 pm

It could be a lot worse. Really.

As Slinky said - don't put the mask on until you are ready to SLEEP and the evening's entertainment is over. It really isn't that bad.

Your snoring will be driving your partner crazy and is potentially life threatening. She will love you for doing this and it will benefit BOTH of you.

pjwalman · Post by **pjwalman** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:33 pm

Ditto to everything everybody else said...with a touch of what it might be like the first night with your partner. Yeah, it's a little weird. There's no question about it. I didn't think my husband would be that freaked out about it frankly -- I mean, I've seen him through a double bypass, he's seen me in childbirth; we've obviously seen each other at our worst -- but I waited in bed a good hour my first night, wondering when he would join me, and I finally realized he was scared to come to bed. I had to go downstairs and ask him to please come to bed so I could show him how everything worked in case I woke up in the middle of the night panicking and couldn't figure out how to get out of my mask. I didn't sleep all that well the first couple nights, just getting used to everything, but when I did sleep, it turns out my husband did not because he was so used to me snoring and snorting and thrashing about that he kept having to inch over close to me to make sure I was still alive underneath the mask. It took him a few nights of checking and me assuring him that I had less chance of croaking in my sleep now than I had before, but he eventually settled in. Does all my gear make him hot for me? No, probably not. I mean, come on. But, like the others said, he'd rather have me alive and warm in all my CPAPy glory than to wake up to me stone cold in the bed next to him. So I don't think it is unreasonable to think your partner may be a little nervous at first, but so will you. It's new to you both. But she wants you around to help raise that baby, and she will get used to it just as you will.

And one more bit of reality here, just to prepare you. Some of us lucky people have a little problem called aerophagia from using CPAP. It's a very fancy sounding name for gas. And so, if you are one of the oh so lucky ones, too, you will be able to amuse your partner to no end (poor choice of words maybe) with the new depths of farting and burping skills you will bring to the relationship bed. I might get yelled at here for giving you too big of a dose of reality here, but if you're reading these threads, you're gonna learn about it eventually. Right? So I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a lot to be freaked out about, yes, but none of it is insurmountable, all of it can be adjusted to, and if you keep a sense of humor about it, it might even provide some new comic relief at your house for the two (and soon to be three) of you.

You will be okay, I promise! Like the others have said, we will be here for you to cheer you on, buck you up, educate you, make you laugh, let you cry, whatever you need.

Take care!

Peggy

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:39 pm

Make sure they give you a machine that gives full data, and a full face mask so you don't breath thru your mouth. Get the software to check how your treatment is doing. After that it's just getting the job done, once you make up your mind it's a cake walk. jim

bigk · Post by **bigk** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:45 pm

Funny cause I'd recomment a nasal mask like the ACtiva.

Everyone has to find what works for them but no way I'd use a full face mask if I didn't have to.

Ado · Post by **Ado** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:53 pm

Hi guys,

thanks so much for the words of support and hope. yes, i do have the tendency to worry a lot - especially in new situations - read having a first baby. anyway, i dont mean to be so negative about the situation. i am totally committed to getting help and therapy for this as i miss the days of having energy all day. its friday and im in the office - its only 10:30 am but i could easily go to bed and sleep for the rest of the day.

My girl does worry about my health and i need to be able to cope with helping raise a little one which im very excited about.

After my fitting and trial on monday, i'll come back and post on how it went.

thanks so much for your support and for listening to me ramble

goose · Post by **goose** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:06 pm

Hey Ado....
Besides ensuring that you get a machine that is fully data capable, pay close attention to the mask....
The mask is the "Holy Grail" of xPAP!!!! Finding one that works for you can be quite frustrating!!! What works for me, what works for some others, may not work for you. Try to get your DME to allow you to try as many masks as possible to find one that works for you!!!!! Rested Gal has also posted the Lab Rat awards that will give you an idea of how many have modified their masks to work better for them -- again, what works for one may not work for you.......

I tend to agree with bigk. Only get a full face mask if you need one. If you mouth breathe you'll probably want a FF mask to start with.
You can tape. You can use polident strips. You can use chinstraps or any number of ways to keep your mouth closed.
You can also train yourself to breath only through your nose and eliminate that problem. For me, nasal interfaces are the most comfortable -- that said, I have facial hair that makes it difficult for a FF mask to seal -- so if you have a beard it is something to consider.

When you get your "stuff", update your profile with the equipment you have so we'll know better how to help....

Take care
cheers
goose

TR · Post by TR » Thu May 22, 2008 9:56 pm

good luck...you have a great motivator to make the xpap therapy work! Hang in there!

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:58 pm

One more time:

CPAP and related equipment is the ULTIMATE screening tool for a partner who has his/her priorities in the right place.

Now, don't you want that baby to be born to a rested mother, rather than one who has been staying awake at night, watching you sleep in fear that you may not awaken to truly father this precious child? Besides, she is a partner who loves you as you are, not as you are masked.

At the risk of being flamed again:

I was told by a member that searching the forum and running across this posting made her laugh and then, because she saw others having fun with the topic, she felt easier about using the equipment.

Click Here to Find How CPAP Masks Can be Fun

Yes, there are problems. We are all different, so results may vary. However, there are benefits beyond good sleep and feeling better, although maybe not as important. You are among a savvy and inventive group of users who are more than willing to share.

I have made friends on this forum in the short time that I have belonged. There are more things on earth than we have dreamt of ourselves, and the points of view of those here are ALWAYS interesting. Some attrition occurs and of course, are replaced by newbies. Some of the newbies become permanent and some leave after their immediate crises have abated. There is, however, a core of folks who are here for the duration and we truly SUPPORT one another.

We do that because when we needed support, it was there and freely offered. One day, you will suddenly find that you know more than you thought and will start answering questions, too. That is when you will know that you are truly a hosehead for life.

Of course, we find that we still need support later on, for some reason.

Can you say, "DME"?

I actually wish I'd had my CPAP for longer than I have; I think if it became unnecessary, I would still use mine at a neutral pressure just for the humidity. (Is there a neutral pressure?) I LOVE the humidity.

Please feel free to join us in the "Chatting Live" Live Chat for more answers, if you can get a word in edgewise. We tend to engage in banter and fellowship until a question is asked, so please join us and interrupt. We welcome all, even (ahem) trolls--for at least a minute or two.

k8e · Post by **k8e** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:52 pm

I can attest that at least some people do take to CPAP right away (my BF slept thru his first night and began to feel better right away, lucky bastard; not so for me). That is not to say it has been completely problem-free (gastric insufflation being the worst of it, plus assorted hose management issues, rainout, all fairly common annoyances). But he feels so much better that he prefers these problems to how he felt before CPAP.

Needsdecaf · Post by **Needsdecaf** » Fri May 23, 2008 6:05 am

goose wrote:
The mask is the last thing that gets attached when you decide to sleep, so any other, ahem, "activities" shouldn't be affected by your new acquisition.....

Well the good news is that given his partner's current disposition, he won't have to worry about that for a while!!!

Just kidding Adrian. Welcome!

I am relatively new to this, I think I'm around 2 months or so. You are echoing the fears that I expressed when I first started CPAP. I was scared to have to wear a mask, was annoyed about the lack of intimacy that it would create, scared of what my wife would think, etc.

But like you, my wife insisted that I go because of the snoring. And I have to say, she hasn't had a negative word to say yet. In fact, she's really happy that I don't snore any more!!!

It is funny, but I am on my 3rd mask now (well I have two primaries) and I have to say last night as I put the mask on in the bathroom, I thought that I couldn't believe that I would be so used to just strapping the thing on but it's a completely normal part of the routine now!!!

Don't sweat it...look forward to it. You'll have the best sleep you've had in years!

Mask	Humidifier

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