I just have to vent, thanks for listening....a bad night

[jsmythe]

I was just totally exhausted last night! And I had the worst night of trying to sleep ever...I woke up about 2:30 smothering, couldn't breathe with or without the mask..went into a panic, and just got up and down out of bed several times trying to go back to sleep.
Would lay down, couldn't breathe,then get up. Got so tired of that, finally I got settled in and went to sleep sometime around 5. I have been using the Comfort Gel for the last 3 or 4 days. I think I will go back to the Activa tonight , even if it leaks, and see if that will help. I have a new activa cushion ordered, (Apria...) but not got it yet. The Gel don't leak, but for some reason,, last night was a disaster! maybe because I was so tired, I don't know. But I sure hope tonight is better. I have felt like crap all day.
My husband was home and took me to lunch at a very nice place, (we never do that...no money), and I felt so bad (from no sleep), I started complaining about the food, etc. and then I realized what I was doing, and felt bad..I apologized and just ..."shut up my big mouth..."... he drives a truck and we never have a chance to do anything together, He just wanted to do something nice for me for a change, and I feel like I blew it...now , I feel just awful about it......... I HATE this OSA s___t, sure messes up a lot of stuff...I still feel awful about today, that is not like me at all. Was like another person sitting there rambling and not me....

[6PtStar]

I'm Really sorry Joyce. It does get better. Sounds like a bad case of anxiety. I had a couple when I started. Stayed up as late as I could stand it because I did not want to but that Da*n mask on. Wanted to take the machine to the back door and launch it to see if I could hit the trash can. My wife would tell me if I did I would have to pay for it anyway and I would not have any thing to show for it.

I also understand the bad moods and short temper when I did not get any sleep. When I do my wife generally kicks me in the posterier and tells me I am being an A$$ and I generally back up and try to calm down.

Tell yourself "AAAAAmmmmm AAAAAmmmm" (meditating) Relax. It WILL get better.

Jerry

[jsmythe]

I'm Really sorry Joyce. It does get better. Sounds like a bad case of anxiety. I had a couple when I started. Stayed up as late as I could stand it because I did not want to but that Da*n mask on. Wanted to take the machine to the back door and launch it to see if I could hit the trash can. My wife would tell me if I did I would have to pay for it anyway and I would not have any thing to show for it.

I also understand the bad moods and short temper when I did not get any sleep. When I do my wife generally kicks me in the posterier and tells me I am being an A$$ and I generally back up and try to calm down.

Tell yourself "AAAAAmmmmm AAAAAmmmm" (meditating) Relax. It WILL get better.

Jerry

Thanks Jerry, The meditating helped, of course my dog is sitting here looking at me like , "what on earth are you doing?" look on her face..lolol.... but I am smiling for the first time today....

[kteague]

Sure hope by the time you read this you are waking up from a great night's sleep.
Kathy

[alnhwrd]

Hang in There! I just switched to night shift at work and have been having terrible problems, some the same as you describe. Bad sleep, numbers through the roof, can't breathe, etc. Hopefully it was just a bad night for you. I will be thinking good thoughts for you!

[hades161]

I wish you have a better time of it in the future. One of my Ex's use to get that way a lot and she would just except the bad night and get up after about an hour of trying.

She would then hit the bathroom draw a hot bath grab up a book or listen to some calm music or background sounds waterfall/waves/nature, light a few candles and soak/meditate/read for a time. Normally it would relax and calm her down to the point she felt better and then come back to bed after about an hour or so. Sometimes it didn't work but most times it did. She had fibromialga and anxiety issues though but to her credit she got off the meds and found through research, meditation, and relaxation techniques a way to cope and for the most part live with some control over them.

Hehe, it sounds wierd but for me back when I was smaller I liked walking down to a park in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and sit on the swings. So calm and peacefull then with no one but me there. Normally after a little while I would walk back and be ok to try again. Now I just goof around on my computer until tired and calm.

Try to find something that does the trick for you is my suggestion, so when the bad nights come you have an action/ritual you can take and at least feel like you took action or maybe just take the stress off your shoulders.

As far as the hubby thing goes most guys I know are appeased by simple things. A hug out of the blue, a favorate food surprise, giveing them some space or time for a favorate show or game they like to watch. So to help yourself feel better about the time lost and make it up to him. Do something simple but make sure he knows you did it to make him happy(some guys I know, myself included miss important clues on these actions )

Wish ya the best =)

[Patrick A]

jsmythe

When I first stared cpap I was tied down to Apria Rip-off as I call them. And I won't go any further. I went thru mask after mask.(7 to be exact) before I went from the junk machine I got saddled with from A/R, there was many a night I would wake up feeling like I was choking to death. (Remstar Plus) The machine I first had didn't even have c-flex on it. I think it took me about a month to really get used to cpap. It will get better and then one morning you will get out of bed and feel like you can whip your weight in wildcats.....maybe even my wight! No I will not go there

I finally bought a nasal pillow type mask and M-series Bipap Auto,
Good luck. Hang in there.

[jsmythe]

Thanks you guys for listening and your encouragement. Makes me feel a lot better. Yes, Kathy, I did sleep a little better last night, I used my Activa, leaked a little around the eyes, but I finally got it positioned to where it quit.

I like Jerry and Hades ideas put together-meditating with hot bath and candles.

Alnhwrd, my numbers have been out the roof for so long, I gave up trying to fix them. My ahi is never higher that 1.9, so I don't worry to much. I just put it back at my prescribed pressure and left it alone. I had 12 events last night, not bad. 6 aps and 6 hyps.

Thanks Patrick, I like your name for Apria, , sounds so familiar. Yes, who knows when I will get my new mask cushion! I have a great machine and use cflex 3. I am wondering if maybe I woke up in the middle of a bad apnea and my oxygen level bottomed out, went into a panic and an adrenaline rush attacked. I remember feeling like that when I had pneumonia the last time. My oxygen had went to 62, I was in a bad way.

It seems like every time I go to bed really really tired, I have a bad night with the machine and mask. No issues with equipment really, just unable to breathe good. I also have COPD, which contributes to the breathing problems. I was on oxygen for several years before cpap. Doc said I didn't need it with cpap, so he did not prescribe it. Now I wonder, was he correct...?

When I can "whip my weight in wildcats" Patrick, I know I got it licked!! Thanks all, I feel a lot better now...

[Moby]

Sorry you had such a rotten night JSmythe. And then a rotten day too

If you feel you can't breathe, does lying propped up on some pillows help?

Is there any physical reason you should feel short of breath lying down?

I hope you and hubby have made up. It was nice of him to take you out to lunch. But we (my hubby and I) often argue when we go out, dunno why. It's a shame. We get on much better out walking in the rain and the mud!

Hope you have a better night tonight.

Di

[jsmythe]

Sorry you had such a rotten night JSmythe. And then a rotten day too

If you feel you can't breathe, does lying propped up on some pillows help?

Is there any physical reason you should feel short of breath lying down?

I hope you and hubby have made up. It was nice of him to take you out to lunch. But we (my hubby and I) often argue when we go out, dunno why. It's a shame. We get on much better out walking in the rain and the mud!

Hope you have a better night tonight.

Di

Thanks Di, yes, we had a better evening. And you know what? I would have much rather have been out walking in the rain and mud! Love that. Know what else? It was absolutely pouring rain all day, left over from the horrible storms the night before. He would have thought me crazy to ask to walk in the rain and mud with him... But , I think he would have done it.

[xyz]

jsmythe wrote:
> I have a new activa cushion ordered, (Apria...) but not got it yet.

Create a document on your computer. Make a note of every time that you speak with Apria. Date, time, name, what you asked for, what they said. Complain to your insurance company in writing every time Apria fails to meet your needs. This the only way it will ever get better.

[Patrick A]

[quote="xyz"]jsmythe wrote:
> I have a new activa cushion ordered, (Apria...) but not got it yet.

Create a document on your computer. Make a note of every time that you speak with Apria. Date, time, name, what you asked for, what they said. Complain to your insurance company in writing every time Apria fails to meet your needs. This the only way it will ever get better.

[Guest]

Joyce, I've had nights like that too. It WILL get better.

The meditating thing helped me alot. I like to read before sleep, so I also got into the habit of masking up while reading, and practicing deep measured breathing while I read. I rarely could stay awake for more than 10 minutes. (machine is on, in case that isn't clear)

Now I don't do that, since I'm interested in the book and want to stay awake longer!

Huggers,
Babs

[AdmiralCougar]

Joyce, perhaps you can request a take home Pulse-Oxy meter, maybe you really do still need O2 with your CPAP. It'd be better on the air on the safe side than, and have it checked if possible.

I've been having the same problems as you waking up feeling smothered. I had another sleep study done in December and the results were finally just read, and seems as my O2 has been staying in the low 80's and below and they want me to have a home take home meter to confirm that they need to add O2.

Christy

[6PtStar]

Now Babs, what kind of book are you reading that you feel is better than sleeping. Inquireing minds want to know!!

Jerry