CPAP Has Made Me A Changed Man (Humor)

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:20 am

Okay, when I started out on this journey I was really concerned how much freedom I would have to give away. I mean, who could look forward to be strapped to machine every night. Those first few weeks of suffering through alien nasal probes and symphonic leaks didn’t make the future prospects look any brighter. But persevere I did and now I am reaping the rewards of subjugation to the “All-nighty Puffer”.

I now revel in the fact that I can actually watch TV programs without going comatose halfway through. Who knew programs actually had an end to go with the beginning and middle? Not only did this expand my entertainment horizons but I discovered the wonderful world of snack food. TV naps have been replaced with TV smorgasbords.

Therapy has given me the added energy to be able to move my refrigerator and microwave into the living room. Sure I put on a bit of tonnage, but now I have enough energy to sumo wrestle the remote away from anyone. I do miss the cat sleeping next to me, but it was his own fault for getting between me and my nachos.

Life at work has greatly improved as well. Now when I fall asleep during those after noon meetings it is because I just finished my two hour lunch at the local Sizzler. If anyone questions me, I just tell them I had an awful night with my CPAP. When I catch that glazed look in their eyes as I talk about straps slipping and high AHI, I know I am home free. I think it was real considerate of them to reinforce the floor in my office after that nasty chair incident.

Even the commute is better now that I can see all the fast food restaurants I missed dozing on my way home. I’m even perky enough to wave at the gym as I drive by.

Things have even gotten more exciting in bed. When I first started on the hose I think my wife missed waking up in the middle of the night to count how many times I stopped breathing. Now she gets to wake up with that adrenalin rush of worrying about me rolling over and crushing her to death.

Yes I can only thank CPAP for turning my average 3.5 member family into a full 4.0. Without it I wouldn’t be the men I am today.

(Now I wonder if I can do for the Overeaters Anonymous Board what I have done for this one?)

gasp · Post by **gasp** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:28 am

mikemoran wrote: Who knew programs actually had an end to go with the beginning and middle?

TV shows have an end? You should have called the thread name "Spoiler"

In case you aren't familiar with the term spoiler:

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Spoilers
spoil·er (spoilr)
n.
5. A post to a newsgroup that divulges information intended to be a surprise, such as a plot twist in a movie.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:30 am

mikemoran wrote:I’m even perky enough to wave at the gym as I drive by.

ROTFL!!

gasp wrote:TV shows have an end?

LOL!!

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:51 am

Well, so much for the CPAP = weight loss hope!

Kathy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:52 am

Gym?? Hey now,dont be saying words like that. This is a family board... It's been only 3 months for me but it seem's like a lot longer. Almost forgoten those precpap days.

John

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Thu May 31, 2007 12:07 pm

ROFLMAO!

Poor Kitty Cat! Nachos??? Hmmmmm!

Thanks Mike!

Kajun

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 31, 2007 12:21 pm

Mike as always your humor lights up my day. Keep it up.

Craig-Tx · Post by **Craig-Tx** » Thu May 31, 2007 12:52 pm

mikemoran wrote:Life at work has greatly improved as well. Now when I fall asleep during those after noon meetings it is because I just finished my two hour lunch at the local Sizzler. If anyone questions me, I just tell them I had an awful night with my CPAP.

I love that excuse. Anytime I'm just about dozing off at my desk, I can tell people I have a sleeping disorder... deal with it...

As usual, Thanks Mike, your humor brightened yet another day.

Babette · Post by **Babette** » Thu May 31, 2007 1:51 pm

When I plan an afternoon snooze, I bring the disabled parking placard from my card and hang it from my office door. Then I can sleep all I want undisturbed...
B.

snork1 · Post by **snork1** » Thu May 31, 2007 3:53 pm

I was hoping that getting my apnea taken care of was going to help my problem of falling asleep in my engineering meetings. And indeed overall I have much more energy and alertness.
But alas, I have discovered those meeting are just plain BORING and could knock out a meth addict on a run.

But at least now I feel perkier when I get OUT of the meetings and I am not always the FIRST one to fall asleep.

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Thu May 31, 2007 7:30 pm

Mike, I resemble those remarks! Jim

You have a swell wife, mine wouldn't let me move the fridge and microwave.

CPAP Has Made Me A Changed Man (Humor)

CPAP Has Made Me A Changed Man (Humor)

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