widow problem!
widow problem!
Having been widowed for five years now, three months of it on CPAP. I have often thought it might be nice to meet someone. There is something very unglamourous about sleeping with a cpap mask on your nose. It feels like a toilet plunger attached to my face. Perhaps there should be a dating service for cpap users. How do you broach the subject to a non cpap user that you have to sleep wearing a mask over your nose attached to a hose attached to a machine that blows air. I would think that it would be an immediate turn off to someone other than a fellow cpap user. Of course the fact that without it you snore loudly might have the same negative impact. I would be interested to hear your views on this...! CareS
That is an interesting issue! I made my wife promise that facemasks are sexy before I got mine.
Actually, she thinks tat taking care of myself is a good thing, so that may b true!
I imagine it's a workable thing. Consider the following conversational gambits:
"Well gee, Bruno, I'd love to spend the night, but I've got to get home to my CPAP?
"Oh, it's a mask that helps me sleep and gives me more, well, energy"
"yes, i said energy! Anyway, see you soon!"
"Rinnnng" "Well heLO Bruno"
Chances are, Bruno has a few not-so-glamourous things going as well, anyway.
Besides, any dude you will want close in enough to see the nose-hose will already appreciate you for your sparkling wit and the like. Right?
I have to confess that I went for the littlest mask I could find for much the same reason, though!
Actually, she thinks tat taking care of myself is a good thing, so that may b true!
I imagine it's a workable thing. Consider the following conversational gambits:
"Well gee, Bruno, I'd love to spend the night, but I've got to get home to my CPAP?
"Oh, it's a mask that helps me sleep and gives me more, well, energy"
"yes, i said energy! Anyway, see you soon!"
"Rinnnng" "Well heLO Bruno"
Chances are, Bruno has a few not-so-glamourous things going as well, anyway.
Besides, any dude you will want close in enough to see the nose-hose will already appreciate you for your sparkling wit and the like. Right?
I have to confess that I went for the littlest mask I could find for much the same reason, though!
I think it makes me look like a dashing scuba diver, don't you?
Hi CareS,
Not to worry!
Haven't you heard? - love is blind, especially at night, you have nothing to fret about. Unless of course you enjoy intimacy with the lights on and under a ceiling mirror. Gee, I didn't think other hosers were that kinky!
Just remember, love may be blind but it isn't deaf. You'll just have to make a choice - aahhh or AAHHH
Bob F
Not to worry!
Haven't you heard? - love is blind, especially at night, you have nothing to fret about. Unless of course you enjoy intimacy with the lights on and under a ceiling mirror. Gee, I didn't think other hosers were that kinky!
Just remember, love may be blind but it isn't deaf. You'll just have to make a choice - aahhh or AAHHH
Bob F
unclebob
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Sleeping With The Enemy
- Posts: 454
- Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:54 pm
- Location: Minnesota
If your relationship should ever progresses to the point that you are sleeping together make sure he is fully versed in the mask. Allow him to experience a couple of nights without the mask and then he will probably remind you to put it on before you sleep.
My brother (also a sufferer) is a divorcee with a four year old son. When he stays over he insists Dad wear what he fondly calls his "piggy mask".
The fact that you are doing something that is not entirely pleasant to improve your health and life span should be enough for someone who really cares.
My brother (also a sufferer) is a divorcee with a four year old son. When he stays over he insists Dad wear what he fondly calls his "piggy mask".
The fact that you are doing something that is not entirely pleasant to improve your health and life span should be enough for someone who really cares.
Now, why would she date a guy named Bruno?
Yeah, when you get to that point with your new beau, I'd imagine he'd probably have no issues with you - I dunno - breathing at night!
Yeah, when you get to that point with your new beau, I'd imagine he'd probably have no issues with you - I dunno - breathing at night!
Take off you hoseheads!
---- Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew - 1983)
Remstar Auto with CFlex (5 - 15)
Swift Mask with Medium Nasal Pillows
---- Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew - 1983)
Remstar Auto with CFlex (5 - 15)
Swift Mask with Medium Nasal Pillows
re: widow problem
Thank you for your kind replies. I am sure that other singles have also given this matter some thought but perhaps have not brought up the subject. I personally would prefer to be upfront initially about my OSA and wearing the mask to sleep rather than worrying about telling someone later on if a relationship ever progressed to that point.
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Nenetx2004
- Posts: 144
- Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 1:01 pm
- Location: Albany, New York
CareS,
I'm a single woman who teases her boyfriend that we're going to have to get married because no other man would understand the whole "mask in bed" thing. But as to your question, I wouldn't worry about how someone feels. As it's been said before, if the guy cares about you, your health is going to be very important to him. He'll understand the need to......KEEP BREATHING. Good luck and keep a good sense of humor about your CPAP therapy.
I'm a single woman who teases her boyfriend that we're going to have to get married because no other man would understand the whole "mask in bed" thing. But as to your question, I wouldn't worry about how someone feels. As it's been said before, if the guy cares about you, your health is going to be very important to him. He'll understand the need to......KEEP BREATHING. Good luck and keep a good sense of humor about your CPAP therapy.
_________________
| Mask | |
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Yeah, Care! You could get around the whole issue with some humor. For instance, you could be:
* Rehearsing for a stage rendition of the Elephant Man
* Auditioning for the lead role in the next Star Wars Movie "Darth Vader and his wife Ella"
* Training to pilot the new follow on to the space shuttle
* Imagining what it must feel like to be an anteater
* Changing your last name to 'Hoover'
The list could go on and on....
This would also reveal if he has a good sense of humor - an admirable trait in a mate
* Rehearsing for a stage rendition of the Elephant Man
* Auditioning for the lead role in the next Star Wars Movie "Darth Vader and his wife Ella"
* Training to pilot the new follow on to the space shuttle
* Imagining what it must feel like to be an anteater
* Changing your last name to 'Hoover'
The list could go on and on....
This would also reveal if he has a good sense of humor - an admirable trait in a mate
Take off you hoseheads!
---- Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew - 1983)
Remstar Auto with CFlex (5 - 15)
Swift Mask with Medium Nasal Pillows
---- Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew - 1983)
Remstar Auto with CFlex (5 - 15)
Swift Mask with Medium Nasal Pillows
Hi CareS,
I think maybe you're being a little too self conscious about xPAP therapy. The mask does come off you know and there have been stories on the forum just how easy it is to throw it across the room.
Personally I would never want any kind of a relationship with someone who did not accept my getting proven therapy to enhance my health - the additional energy you achieve has already been mentioned and is a very good point.
There is a time for fun (no mask), kinky fun (just the hose) and sleeping - he sleeps and snores and you sleep better and much less if any snoring. You can always tell him he kept you awake with his snoring.
My wife was amazed just how quiet my APAP unit is and said it was a lot better than having to put up with my snoring.
Regarding your idea about telling a date right away about your sleep habits - just what kind of a girl are you? In my younger days if I ever got an offer like that I would be in 7th heaven counting my lucky stars!
You know, now that I think about this, I'll bet if you get your lines just right you'll never have to worry about striking out on a first date. You'll be the most popular girl on the block.
All the best
Bob F
PS - ( CareS, please don't read this part - it's for guys only!!) Hey guys, got a whole new theory on how to improve our lot in life. It's a two part action plan. First we get the media to convince women, Apneacs or not, that xPAP therapy is essential. That there are many untreated women out there who could use the benefits of more energy, weight loss, complexion enhancement, no more lines or wrinkles, larger busts, unwanted hair loss etc, etc, etc. ( not to mention more exciting and satisfying climaxes) Then the second part. We get government studies to confirm these benefits but also identifying a possible potential downside. This being that the average male might feel somewhat intimidated by unusual and mysterious sleeping habits and that this should be explored early on in any relationship preferably the first night. Who knows, it could work.
I think maybe you're being a little too self conscious about xPAP therapy. The mask does come off you know and there have been stories on the forum just how easy it is to throw it across the room.
Personally I would never want any kind of a relationship with someone who did not accept my getting proven therapy to enhance my health - the additional energy you achieve has already been mentioned and is a very good point.
There is a time for fun (no mask), kinky fun (just the hose) and sleeping - he sleeps and snores and you sleep better and much less if any snoring. You can always tell him he kept you awake with his snoring.
My wife was amazed just how quiet my APAP unit is and said it was a lot better than having to put up with my snoring.
Regarding your idea about telling a date right away about your sleep habits - just what kind of a girl are you? In my younger days if I ever got an offer like that I would be in 7th heaven counting my lucky stars!
You know, now that I think about this, I'll bet if you get your lines just right you'll never have to worry about striking out on a first date. You'll be the most popular girl on the block.
All the best
Bob F
PS - ( CareS, please don't read this part - it's for guys only!!) Hey guys, got a whole new theory on how to improve our lot in life. It's a two part action plan. First we get the media to convince women, Apneacs or not, that xPAP therapy is essential. That there are many untreated women out there who could use the benefits of more energy, weight loss, complexion enhancement, no more lines or wrinkles, larger busts, unwanted hair loss etc, etc, etc. ( not to mention more exciting and satisfying climaxes) Then the second part. We get government studies to confirm these benefits but also identifying a possible potential downside. This being that the average male might feel somewhat intimidated by unusual and mysterious sleeping habits and that this should be explored early on in any relationship preferably the first night. Who knows, it could work.
unclebob
Okay, as long as we're being silly, I will let you in on the big secret:
Men are generally so happy to be in bed that you could wear a trash compacter on your head and we would not care!
Fling, fling yourself into that breathless abyss of love.
Embrace the new and newly new!
Be with and be been with, for, after all, there's nothing better!
Men are generally so happy to be in bed that you could wear a trash compacter on your head and we would not care!
Fling, fling yourself into that breathless abyss of love.
Embrace the new and newly new!
Be with and be been with, for, after all, there's nothing better!
Might be something to that...SailorBoy wrote:Okay, as long as we're being silly, I will let you in on the big secret:
Men are generally so happy to be in bed that you could wear a trash compacter on your head and we would not care!
Fling, fling yourself into that breathless abyss of love.
Embrace the new and newly new!
Be with and be been with, for, after all, there's nothing better!
Usually no one gets annoyed til AFTER they are married
I am a bit puzzled. I put the mask on when I am going to sleep, I do not need or wish to wear it for other activities. I also sleep with the lights out and have no problem becoming Darth Vader in the dark, with the lights out. But speaking hypothetically, any partner I would consider sleeping with (platonically or otherwise) would be aware of my condition and respect and support my looking after myself. It is also my understanding that in most cases, it is the partner, who encourages the apneac snorer to get treatment so he/she can sleep without worrying.