You might be a CPAP user if…

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:16 am

rested gal wrote:"To sleep: perchance to dream: ay.... it's a mask that rubs."

To sleep; perchance to stop breathing, lower my O2 saturation, and over time damage my internal organs, aye, there's the rub.

Liam, http://www.no-bard.com

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:20 am

Hi RG and Liam
Glad you liked my moto...

Liam, Considering that the bard was actually discussing to be or not to be... it may be (no pun intended) even apter....

By the way, I think that if your choice is between no cpap, and cpap later, when you have less stress at work - the second is the better choice.
I can think of many more fun ways to spend a vacation - but not of many better "health investments"...
Cheers
O.

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:43 am

Yeah, I've been thinking since I saw that post (and made my own) this morning how I would rewrite To Be Or Not To Be for CPAP users.

To Breathe or not To Breathe, that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of o2 deprivation, or to take up hose against a sea of obstructions, and by a pressure, end them.

I'd go on, but I'm at work, and they don't pay me to bastardize Shakespeare.

Liam, cpaptalk minstrel.

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:48 am

I'ld love to see the rest when you're away from work.
I' off to a concert... which I'll be late to if I keep on browsing.
O.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 1:49 pm

"Friends, apneacs, countrymen, lend me your masks."

mommaw · Post by **mommaw** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 3:54 pm

There once was a girl in Kentucky
Who said "Dang, I feel yucky"

All I want to do is sleep and sleep and sleep
I could just weep

Doctor said "Sleep apnea is the problem, you see"
"If you use this mask and machine, A better woman you'll be"

1st night is good, goes off without a hitch
2nd night is bad, she looks like a witch

She tries and tries, each night gets better
Except for the nights that "rainout" make wetter

A month goes by.....then two
And suddenly, out of the blue

That girl in Kentucky feels OK
She's going outside, It's a beautiful day

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:04 pm

Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou not breathing, Romeo?

Liam Capulet.

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:15 pm

How much nap could a cpap pap if a cpap could pap nap?

...and that ain't rap! ...nor is it Shakespeare!

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:16 pm

"And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not wearing their masks."

Henry V

Mikesus · Post by **Mikesus** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 6:37 pm

Ok I have it really bad was reading an email and some one used the word CR@P... I thought he spelled CPAP wrong...

unclebob · Post by **unclebob** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:27 pm

If.....

You scan all the grocery store flyers for specials on vinegar.

You haggle with the grocery store manager for a discount when buying two 5 gallon jugs of vinegar.

People stare at you when your shopping cart is loaded with vinegar, distilled water and Ivory dish soap.

You scan faces in the crowd for "Evil DME's"

You meet you're DME at a party but refuse to acknowledge him.

You have that sinking feeling that your medical bill just wasn't right

You receive a cheque in the mail from your medical insurance company but you can't remember what it was for

You're confused when you meet another apniac who says his condition was described by his doctor as "non-severe"

You're not sure if the wind you just passed was due to diet or what.

When you pass wind in bed at night, you take off your mask to make sure.

You check your usage hours and it's more than it should be and your partner gets all pissed off when you ask them why.

You start to wonder if this is the only health condition you have that matters

You start to feel better and think maybe you can do without the hose

"Gone With the Wind" has a new meaning for you

This was a keen thread. really enjoyed it!!!

Bob F

cpaper · Post by **cpaper** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:47 am

Janelle wrote:start suggesting Sleep studies for everyone who mentions they snore loudly, are tired all the time, depressed, or irritable...!

Oh God I do that all the time

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 12:09 pm

Mary had a little mask, little mask, little mask.
Mary had a little mask, the gel was very blue.

She cleansed it with alcohol, alcohol, alcohol,
She cleansed it with alcohol and then it turned to goo!

BuffaloAl · Post by **BuffaloAl** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 8:29 pm

There once was guy, a cpaper
Whose wife could be quite a yapper
so he'd turn on the ramp
and clapper the lamp
and seal up the leaks with glad wrapper

OK so I'm no Liam

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 8:41 pm

BuffaloAl wrote:There once was guy, a cpaper
Whose wife could be quite a yapper
so he'd turn on the ramp
and clapper the lamp
and seal up the leaks with glad wrapper

OK so I'm no Liam

Maybe not a Liam, but cool just the same.
Liked the limerick!

Linda, also not a Liam

Mask	Humidifier

Additional Comments: Pur~Sleep Oils (Love Them) Aussie Heated Hose, Encore Analyzer, Pad-A-Cheek Guards (Work Great!)

Machine	Mask

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