Off With His Thread (Humor)

[mikemoran]

Just recently I was reading the thread where it was suggested that we have a member moderator to help keep our flamier moments inline when online. At first I was taking exception to this approach, (my wife yells at me enough for being an ass and I wasn’t sure she needed the auxiliary support). But then it struck me, I might be the perfect candidate. I have been on the board a decent spell, (even thought I can’t spell), and I have a very long fuse when it comes to other people’s problems. So I would like to throw my crown into the ring and here is my platform:

S7 Autoset Spirit (Er wrong platform)

Let me rewind:

First I don’t think the name Moderator adequately describes the position. I would prefer the title “Grand Exalted Arbiter of All That is Good and Wise, Sheppard to Neophytes Who Must be Sheltered From the Reality of Adult Interactions, Lord of the Hose and Master of the Interface – Mike the First”

I will not read all posts but will arbitrarily choose random threads that pique my interest either by title or just sporadic mouse movements. If I find anyone making a disparaging remark about me they will be banned. Remarks regarding other posters that do not contain some clever nickname or reference to some physical characteristic will be eliminated and the poster may be banned.

Any post with charts must have an accompanying musical score that we can download to our IPods. The most requested ones will have a sticky at the top of the board and will be submitted to the American Idol Song Writing contest under my name.

Lab rat experiment threads will be closely scrutinized. Any posts that do not rely on using live animals or meat products in the mask fixes may be subject to removal. (This policy is for board promotion purposes, we need the headlines PETA can give us).

Each member will be required to submit a picture of their spouse donning some form of CPAP equipment in a provocative pose. My wife is no longer buying my line that “Other Spouses do it”.

By decree all my posts will be considered the most hilarious in the Land of CPAP. Those not caught guffawing uncontrollably in front of their co-workers will be subject to banning.

I think you will find my rule in this glorious position will be entertaining. I will gladly serve until such time as I find myself the only un-banned member on the Board. At such time I will step down and provide Johnny my lawyer’s address so he knows where to serve the papers when he sues me for destroying his business.

Now “Let them Snort Cake”

[jimbassett]

I *think* I developed a <Mona Lisa> smile reading this jim

[Fastsheriff]

ROTF LMAO

You have my 283 votes.

[swtsassy65]

Oh Mike The Great,

Do we need to bow before we enter this form??

[GuestForADay]

mikemoran …………….John Cleese

[Bones]

The Emperor has no clothes.

[blarg]

I certainly must say you know exactly what would make this forum better.

[Snoredog]

Lab rat experiment threads will be closely scrutinized. Any posts that do not rely on using live animals or meat products in the mask fixes may be subject to removal. (This policy is for board promotion purposes, we need the headlines PETA can give us).

PETA?

is that the People Eating Tasty Animals group?

[-SWS]

I just love this entire humorous piece by mikemoran. And this self-proposed title still has me laughing:

I would prefer the title “Grand Exalted Arbiter of All That is Good and Wise, Sheppard to Neophytes Who Must be Sheltered From the Reality of Adult Interactions, Lord of the Hose and Master of the Interface – Mike the First”

Thanks for the superb comic relief, Mike! .

[rock and roll]

I submit my vote for the great Mike Moran if for nothing else than humor is the best medicine.

But Mike, I am still trying to convince my spouse that cpap equipment is sexy. I never run out of innuendos though.

[muld00n]

First I don’t think the name Moderator adequately describes the position. I would prefer the title “Grand Exalted Arbiter of All That is Good and Wise, Sheppard to Neophytes Who Must be Sheltered From the Reality of Adult Interactions, Lord of the Hose and Master of the Interface – Mike the First”

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain !!!

With apologies to "Oz".
Steve