BLEEPing Mask Hell

[babydinosnoreless]

Assuming his nightly regimen works for me, djams
would you be open to joining Stuart and I in a support group
for manly BLEEP Mask users who are DEFINITELY NOT Metrosexuals?

I CANNOT wait to hear the discussion in this new manly group. You guys are a hoot!

They said no girls. I think you and kate and pugsy should form your own group and send pugsy's aliens after these guys!

[jimbud]

Sorry, NO GIRLS allowed.

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Addendum ; I am Joking. OK then ?
JPB

[palerider]

Sorry, NO GIRLS allowed.

nov15-373_med.jpeg



Addendum ; I am Joking. OK then ?
JPB

I particularly like the official seal.

[Bookit]

Sorry, NO GIRLS allowed.

nov15-373_med.jpeg



Addendum ; I am Joking. OK then ?
JPB

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

[palerider]

Sorry, NO GIRLS allowed.

nov15-373_med.jpeg



Addendum ; I am Joking. OK then ?
JPB

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

just to be clear, you're disappointed that he's joking? or you're disappointed at the joke? (I'm guessing the former)

[jimbud]

Sorry, NO GIRLS allowed.

nov15-373_med.jpeg



Addendum ; I am Joking. OK then ?
JPB

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

just to be clear, you're disappointed that he's joking? or you're disappointed at the joke? (I'm guessing the former)

Well after looking at the joke today, it is pretty disappointing. I will try and do better. No guarantee though.
JPB

[Bookit]

Well after looking at the joke today, it is pretty disappointing. I will try and do better. No guarantee though.
JPB

Well, jimbud, you have pretty stiff competition in the joking department. Better luck next time.

[djams]

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

Actually I'm pretty sure this secret society we're imagining would disappoint you.

Like maybe next you'd find out that one of the members prefers bathing with a loofah to taking a shower - that sort of thing.

My advice is to consider yourself lucky!

[palerider]

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

Actually I'm pretty sure this secret society we're imagining would disappoint you.

Like maybe next you'd find out that one of the members prefers bathing with a loofah to taking a shower - that sort of thing.

You got something against loofahs???

[Dreaming1]

Two nights in after chatting up Stuart...how’s it working? What ended up helping?

[djams]

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

Actually I'm pretty sure this secret society we're imagining would disappoint you.

Like maybe next you'd find out that one of the members prefers bathing with a loofah to taking a shower - that sort of thing.

You got something against loofahs???

Never used one. It's just one another one of those things my wife does that I don't, so I threw it out there.

[palerider]

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

Actually I'm pretty sure this secret society we're imagining would disappoint you.

Like maybe next you'd find out that one of the members prefers bathing with a loofah to taking a shower - that sort of thing.

You got something against loofahs???

Never used one. It's just one another one of those things my wife does that I don't, so I threw it out there.

You should try it... or split the difference, loofah in the shower

[djams]

Well, ok then,... * hangs her head*

I'm disappointed, but not offended.

Actually I'm pretty sure this secret society we're imagining would disappoint you.

Like maybe next you'd find out that one of the members prefers bathing with a loofah to taking a shower - that sort of thing.

You got something against loofahs???

Never used one. It's just one another one of those things my wife does that I don't, so I threw it out there.

You should try it... or split the difference, loofah in the shower

Hmm. I take recommendations from you to heart. I'll give it a try. It's hanging right there on that suction cup hook every day.

Would it be a breach of loofah etiquette to get chest hairs stuck in my wife's loofah holes? Maybe I should buy my own. Whaddya think?

Off to Google loofah benefits...

[palerider]

Would it be a breach of loofah etiquette to get chest hairs stuck in my wife's loofah holes? Maybe I should buy my own. Whaddya think?

Off to Google loofah benefits...

There are some things I'm not brave enough to offer advice on, and this seems to be squarely in that arena.

That's entirely between you and your wife.

[Zomby Woof]

MMAN™
Manly Men Approved Non-metrosexual
BLEEP Face Prep Process

Step 1) - Within a 6' radius of your bathroom work area, remove all skin products having Non-English words in their names or descriptions i.e. crème, démaquillante, purifiante, lait, or worst of all, hydratant.


Step 2) - Within a 6’ radius of your bathroom work area, remove all “soaps” “toners”, and “cleansers” having deceptive English words such as moisturising, nourishing, soothing, or hydrating in their titles or product descriptions.

When in doubt ask yourself this question: Does this product claim to IMPROVE my skin in any way? If it does, get rid of it! Drifting molecules of “improvement” will negatively affect the adhesion of your BleepPorts. Particularly discard with malice any products that have “glycerin” listed as an ingredient, in fact, discard anything that lists any word containing "gly".


Step 3) - Using only a clean washcloth and cold tap water, scrub your face thoroughly. Pay particular attention to the schnoz area - above, around, the cheeks adjoining, the upper lip, and particularly the nosalholes themselves.

Dry your schnoz thoroughly with the closest towel.
Not that one! That’s one of your wife’s special guest towels, moron!


Step 4) - Using the Industrial-grade Degreaser you obtained from the diesel repair shop, wipe down your schnoz using a relatively clean shop rag from your garage.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are unable to obtain Industrial-grade Degreaser then Stuart suggests that isopropyl alcohol wipes are the very best thing. Allow the alcohol to dry thoroughly then carefully apply the Bleep Dreamports.

-----
The above process gets me through about four hours with very low leakage. Unfortunately my oil glands rebound then and overwhelm the surgical adhesive. Which leads to the following recommendation…

OPTIONAL Extra Step for 99th percentile, terminally oily noses like deforeman’s:
Obtain a ‘skin barrier’ such as Smith & Nephew SKIN-PREP Spray or Wipes. Apply, after the isopropyl alcohol has completely dried, two (2) coats. Then Dreamport your self.

Optional Extra Step is still undergoing testing. Details later.
Dennis