Nightmare on CPAP Street (Humor)

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:07 pm

Halloween is finally here. After months of planning we are just about ready to open up the neighborhood Haunted House. The one time of year where going overboard is greatly appreciated. I just hope I’ve stocked up enough candy to bribe myself out of the potential lawsuits from the trauma I am about to unleash on all those unsuspecting children. This year it might even be more fun than when I handed out those colorfully wrapped ice cubes.

The first room they enter will be the Frankenstein room, where they will get wired to electrodes and hooked to arcane electrical devices. Igor will make sure that the wires are short enough that they won’t easily escape. Plastic sheets will be thoughtfully provided in the event of unfortunate accidents brought on by the frights they will encounter. After a few rounds of Simon Sez the real fun will begin as we tighten the straps around their heads.

Next they will embark upon the alien encounter. Their space masks will be hermetically sealed to their faces in the event of depressurization. Hoses will be attached for their air supply and we will subject them to some sleep deprivation. Pulsing the air into them so they are breathing to some extraterrestrial beat. Just when they think they avoided the infamous Grey Men probes we will start the next part of their journey.

Time for some old school Chinese Water torture. First some cold air blasts up their noses, followed by some swamp like humidity. Then just about when they are ready to nod off, the drips will start. This is my favorite part, not only does just keep them on the edge of sleep but it is bound to generate need for relief. Good thing we used those plastic sheets. If they survive, then we will tell them that this will be done to them every night for the rest of their lives.

As they rush towards the exit they will be entangled in blood colored tape. Those willing to part with their hard begged for candy might be given some scissors to cut it. Others will be subjected to filling out voluminous forms before they can reach freedom and scarf up some treats. Of course what they receive will be way past its expiration date unless their parents are willing to lay out some real cash.

Who says one can’t get inspiration from a Sleep Study? Finally all those extra masks can be put to good use.

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:28 pm

Yep, like I've said how many times now???? You are one sick puppy, mike!

Haven't heard from you in a while, bud! You doin' ok?? Sounds like you're still sharp as a tack........and that's quite a ways up from being sharp as a bowling ball, like I was pre-APAP! LOLOL

Keep the posts coming!

Kajun

This therapy WORKS!!!

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:54 pm

Mike, you're in your usual great form. Sooo funny!

For another fun read, folks, check out the elaborate setups (no, not PSG setups...lol ) WAFlowers and his wife created to wow the neighborhood trick'or'treaters:

Oct 31, 2005 subject: Happy Halloween!

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:33 pm

Thanks, Laura. That was before my time and what an All Hallow's Eve that was!

I wonder what All Hallow's Eve that will be this year!

CandaceN · Post by **CandaceN** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 3:19 pm

Love it! My favorite story iinvolves my first week of wearing a CPAP mask. I woke up in the middle of the night with my headgear still on, at the same time as my son. He screamed bloody murder! Apparently he thought I was the alien beast chasing Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Predator movie.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:00 pm

Hey Kajun,

Still around and twisted as ever. Just been recovering from mountains of work. Every once in a while the whimsy strikes me and I got to purge it here before it festers.

kavanaugh1950 · Post by **kavanaugh1950** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:29 pm

rested gal, thanks for the link, that is so funny and sick! mike, you are a character!

SLEEPYCD · Post by **SLEEPYCD** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 11:20 pm

Silly Man Moran,
Another great one from the CPAP master!!! Happy Halloween!!!
Carolyn

esel · Post by **esel** » Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:39 am

Hi moran, or any one...

I need some details for settings. Halloween has made it to Europe.

I have a brand new CS PaceWave, sleepyHead sais PAP Mode: ASV

I have lots of wires and some old computer hardware, as our center changed machines, they still work too.

Frankenstein, I can deal with, came through Geneva and up the "Salève" the next mountain here, great climbing area. Have lots of ropes, harness and old pitons, easy to set anywhere.

How do I set for "Pulsing the air into them so they are breathing to some extraterrestrial beat" I have the music ?

I was thinking to use my climbing equipment to lower them into the bathtub for a scooper dive. Here I need more advice for setting so the mask (full face mask) does not drip too much. I only have one mask, they will have to share and I need it at night, cannot risk to have it broken. Could the Flow Limit be a problem ? It seems like I can setup EPAP and PS. Any suggestions as to setup a recorded breathing event to make it more real ?

What about some Weitzen Beer in the humidifier tank, or will the foame be a problem ?

Well I wrote early for Halloween so I can get prepared in time. Thanks for help

Woody · Post by **Woody** » Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:50 am

Well talk about a nightmare. I had the same one sunday and monday.
The nightmare involved my dr sending me for another sleep study but
instead of this one lasting 4 to 6 hrs I was kept 5 days ! And I thought
my last real sleep study was bad !

Nightmare on CPAP Street (Humor)

Nightmare on CPAP Street (Humor)

Re: Nightmare on CPAP Street (Humor)

Re: Nightmare on CPAP Street (Humor)