Snoring Husband - Help!

[CarCulmer]

Have been using a CPAP for 6-7 years so well know the risks/benefits of not correcting/correcting my sleep apnea problem. Husband, however, flatly REFUSES to get tested for his MAJOR snoring problem. I have tried and tried to get him to go for a sleep study - no luck. Have passed on info about the risks of sleep apnea - he looks at it and it goes no further. His snoring is very bothersome to me while trying to get to sleep every night and we go through some times an hour (or more!) of me poking him, him stoping the snoring for 30 seconds, and then continuing on - over and over. I have forced him to the couch many times so that I could sleep - he's ruining the couch sleeping on it. Have recorded him so he can hear himself - no good. Have explained how he sounds like he is trying to breathe through a straw that is nearly closed - no response -(distressing to listen to). To look at him he looks like his whole body is trying to breathe, not just his chest if that makes sense. He snores no matter what position he is laying in and snores with his mouth closed! Falls asleep within literally seconds of closing his eyes. Has to nap on the weekends (he still works). We don't have a spare bedroom or I would force him to move in there. Any suggestions on how to convince him to get a sleep study? At my wits end. I don't know what he is so afraid of......

[Cardsfan]

Let him use your machine set at the lowest pressure and see what it shows his AHI is.

[Mikebear]

Move to another bedroom. If he protests, tell him you won't move back until he gets tested.

[Pugsy]

Move to another bedroom. If he protests, tell him you won't move back until he gets tested.

Not an option. Did you see this part?

We don't have a spare bedroom or I would force him to move in there.

To OP here

At my wits end. I don't know what he is so afraid of......

Ask him point blank what it is he is afraid of. Depending on response decide what your options might be.

[dbreweur]

Sounds like you've already tried everything honestly.

My Dad was the same way - was diagnosed as having Severe Sleep Apnea, got the machine, used it for like....maybe a month before complaining that he felt super congested first thing in the morning, and refused to use it for several years. It doesn't help that he had a terrible DME and refused to ask for help; The chest congestion I believe to have been due to the wrong humidity level on the machine, and in reality, he needed a full face mask rather than just a nasal cushion as he would still snore when his mouth dropped open.

It wasn't until he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer (unrelated to the sleep apnea) and began having issues with breathing during the day that he started using it and figuring out that it really helped.


Your husband sounds nearly as stubborn as my Dad was and unfortunately, the only thing that typically makes a person like that start using a machine is a true health scare (which I certainly don't wish on anyone)

[chunkyfrog]

If he is struggling to breathe, kiss him gently on the lips.
He will reflexively kiss back, even while sleeping, and stop snoring for a while.
If he wakes up, explain that you wanted one last kiss, just in case . . .

[Okie bipap]

My wife refused to get tested for sleep apnea even though I told her she would quit breathing at night while she slept. I just waited until our next physical and told our doctor that she was snoring and would quit breathing while sleeping. The doctor scheduled her for the sleep study. Turned out she had severe sleep aphea (AHI of 49) which was about the same as mine. After using the machine for a few nights, she began to feel better and had more energy. Now, she uses it every night.

[HoseCrusher]

From a little "outside the box..."

Hug him, love him, tell him how much you enjoy having him in your life, re-connect with him, accept him, forgive him.

It is amazing how much unconditional love can move a stubborn person to move down a better path.

[D.H.]

I always had this fantasy of just putting the mask on somebody to silence the snoring. This is my non-lethal version of the smothering somebody with a pillow to silence snoring. I have my old machine as a spare, so it's doable!

[So Well]

Let him use your machine set at the lowest pressure and see what it shows his AHI is.

The results won't be valid because wifey's snoring will keep him awake all night.

[MrsRinPDX]

I know your frustration and suggestions that a little more cuddling will solve the problem are misplaced. Of course you love the guy dearly. You're trying desperately to save his life. You are at your wits end.

My husband is the same way on any potentially serious medical issue. He would rather ignore it than treat it. He snores, stops breathing in his sleep, has memory issues and tiredness and still won't go see a sleep doctor. In his case, he has a very deep seated fear of the doctor finding something mortally wrong, so he would rather not know. One of these days it will be a self fulfilling prophesy because he delayed treatment.

My only suggestion, although it seems harsh but is really very sad, is to have the health and life insurance policies in order. You will probably outlive him.

[HDCowboy]

Try videoing him with your cell phone or something and show him how bad he is breathing, maybe if he actually sees the problems he having firsthand it might wake him up a little! No pun intended, but its worth a shot!

[Mikebear]

Ok, so moving to another bedroom won't work. If you can't convince him that sleep apnea can be fatal and it would be in his best interest to get tested, then I suggest you buy a very large life insurance policy on him.