I seriously need some help

[PleaseHelp111]

I am definitely sure I have some sort of sleep apnea. My Jaw is naturally pushed back because of my misaligned teeth. When I open my mouth , the pathway is really small because of my Jaw and tonsils. I have trouble falling asleep, and when I do wake up it's usually very early and abrupt; and it feels like I haven't slept at all. This has been ongoing for years and years now, but I've recently got the push to try to solve it now due to the huge burst of responsibility from school. During my break, I literally laid in bed all day being tired and depressed not knowing what to do so I haven't made any progress. (I did find out my TSH was very high meaning I could have hypothyroidism, I am taking thyroid medication for that. It's too early to say if it's working or not.) Also, my blood tests revealed my testosterone is very low for my age (18), which may also be giving me some symptoms.
My symptoms are Fatigue, Depression, Anxiety; I'm literally starting to struggle doing basic math,falling asleep on the wheel, the ONLY Thing running through my mind constantly every second is how tired I am, and how much worse it's going to get if I don't start solving it now. ( I already held it off for so long and I have no clue what I'm doing with my life.)
I am just starting my second semester of college right now and trying to balance my classes, workload, and researching what to do is seriously driving me to the worst depression I have ever felt. I have already made an appointment with my school health services just for someone to talk to in these troubling times. I've forced myself through middle school and highschool with the tiniest amount of energy I can manage to find.
These past few days I have seriously contemplated suicide, because it will end my problems immediately. I can't stop fucking crying and worrying about this entire fucking thing. I have no clue what I'm doing with school , my health, my entire existence is starting to feel useless.
I got a referral for a sleep study from the doctor who gave me a blood test, but I don't know where to go.
My entire savings right now is around 50$, I had to spend all my money on books.
Knowing I'll have to 1. Get a sleep study, 2. Get a CPAP then wait months to see if its working. 3. Possibly have to get Mandibular surgery , tonsillectomy.
With appointment times, waiting to see if its working, waiting for referrals and testing out multiple doctors, tubes, machines, will literally take YEARS.
I have the absolute shittiest insurance (Medi-cal), I am in Southern California. I have no money, my parents have no money.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO??
I AM COMPLETELY ALONE IN SOLVING THIS AND I DON't HAVE THE RESOURCES, I"M LITERALLY SPENDING EACH AND EVERY WAKING DAY fucking worrying, tired, depressed, confused. Time is passing by me, I am literally trembling in fear right now.
I know this is a long shot, but if someone in california can help me out with the correct doctors, tests, and things I need to do to start getting this treated ASAP..
I will somehow find a way to pay you back. I am literally begging.

[Julie]

Relax, there is help for you.

There are good machines available for far less than new and we can point you to them, but it would help (you and the people you go to for machines) if you had SOME kind of testing - you can do a much less expensive home sleep study, but do need your MD to get it set up for you. BUT if even that is too much, then some people here may even donate an Apap machine - that's the one that lets you figure out what pressures you need the machine set at once you figure them out. We can help with that too.

But I also think you need to get your thyroid and testosterone sorted out so you at least know what situation you are in and not get lost in the variables wondering which condition is causing what problems. You'll end up saving time in the end, maybe money, hopefully your sanity and likely your life. But you need to go one step at a time (sorry!).

And I think you're terrific for having gotten through school and sticking it where you are... plus talking to counsellors there.

It's nightime out here in the rest of the world, so if you can hang in til more of us are up and hopefully thinking straight, people will chime in with help, ideas, knowledge, experience and more. You can do it, just be careful driving, whatever you do don't sleep on your back for now because it causes more apneas and watch out for coffee (at least later in the day) and meds, which depending on what they are can mess with everything else of course. I'd also talk to your MD re what you're doing re your thyroid (Synthroid?) because you want to make sure it won't conflict with apnea/Cpap, etc. It's often just a matter of switching meds or taking them at diff. times of day etc, but I guess it's a little premature to go there yet.

[PleaseHelp111]

Relax, there is help for you.

There are good machines available for far less than new and we can point you to them, but it would help (you and the people you go to for machines) if you had SOME kind of testing - you can do a much less expensive home sleep study, but do need your MD to get it set up for you. BUT if even that is too much, then some people here may even donate an Apap machine - that's the one that lets you figure out what pressures you need the machine set at once you figure them out. We can help with that too.

But I also think you need to get your thyroid and testosterone sorted out so you at least know what situation you are in and not get lost in the variables wondering which condition is causing what problems. You'll end up saving time in the end, maybe money, hopefully your sanity and likely your life. But you need to go one step at a time (sorry!).

And I think you're terrific for having gotten through school and sticking it where you are... plus talking to counsellors there.

It's nightime out here in the rest of the world, so if you can hang in til more of us are up and hopefully thinking straight, people will chime in with help, ideas, knowledge, experience and more. You can do it, just be careful driving, whatever you do don't sleep on your back for now because it causes more apneas and watch out for coffee (at least later in the day) and meds, which depending on what they are can mess with everything else of course. I'd also talk to your MD re what you're doing re your thyroid (Synthroid?) because you want to make sure it won't conflict with apnea/Cpap, etc. It's often just a matter of switching meds or taking them at diff. times of day etc, but I guess it's a little premature to go there yet.

thank you, Yeah I understand that this will take time and getting lost in the variables is definitely possible. However, after reading alot, low testosterone, fatigue, depression, can be symptoms of hypothyroidism. my medication may be taking time to fix it. but I want to try getting a sleep study to see what is happening there.

[Julie]

Have you talked to your MD about that (home study)?

I can't help a lot there because I'm in Canada, so insurance issues are very diff. here as is a lot of your med set up...

See you later and hang in!

[PleaseHelp111]

Have you talked to your MD about that (home study)?

I can't help a lot there because I'm in Canada, so insurance issues are very diff. here as is a lot of your med set up...

See you later and hang in!

The doctor I see specialized in thyroid and other things. He is not a sleep guy, so I'm trying to find out if he can refer me to one, hopefully I can get a sleep study done from there. Thank you for replying

[kteague]

I got a referral for a sleep study from the doctor who gave me a blood test, but I don't know where to go.
Your insurance should have a list of providers who accept your coverage.

Knowing I'll have to 1. Get a sleep study, 2. Get a CPAP then wait months to see if its working. 3. Possibly have to get Mandibular surgery , tonsillectomy.
With appointment times, waiting to see if its working, waiting for referrals and testing out multiple doctors, tubes, machines, will literally take YEARS.
You are expecting the absolute worst case scenario in all aspects. Most do not run into issues in every possible area, although it is not unusual to hit a glitch or two. You do not have to know the end just to start. That's too much for even one not dealing with other health and emotional issues. Thoughts of a surgery that you may never need do not merit brain space at this point. Please know that your your estimation of YEARS will more likely be weeks.

You have two tasks to focus on at this point. 1) Continue to work with your doctors to resolve the other health issues. 2) Find a sleep doctor who accepts your coverage and schedule a study. If the date they give is far out, maybe they'll let you fill in if there's a cancellation. That can shorten the wait time. That's all that's required of you at this time. Everything else can be addressed on an as needed basis. You don't need to worry about equipment yet - you don't even have a diagnosis. Every time you get to another bridge, come here and get some support for the next step. The good news is everything you've named thusfar is quite treatable and you have every reason to be hopeful about your future.

[Mudrock63]

When is your appointment with your school health services dept? Sounds like you need to talk with somebody ASAP. Do they have campus ministries where you are going to school? Sometimes they can help without selling you too hard on their religion. It's a tough situation being in school with medical problems and the perception that no help is available. Do you have friends to talk to? You need a support group. It really sounds like you are on the right track as far as recognizing your problems and trying to deal with them. Please hang in there. Suicide is never a great option for yourself or your family. So if you are seriously considering that, or have those thoughts frequently, please call a hotline or find some resource at school immediately to deal with those thoughts. You are so young. Life seems stacked impossibly against you sometimes. But trust me, it gets better, and you sound intelligent and resourceful enough that you are getting on the right track to start solving some of your issues. You are going to look back at this period of your life and appreciate that you persevered through the difficult times.

[Cardsfan]

National Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Go NOW to the nearest emergency room, or call an ambulance or the police. They are all trained to help you. Your ability to pay does not matter. You will not be turned away.

[Thomas F.]

Sleep with a cervical collar. You can buy at CVS for < $5.00. Sleep with upper body on incline up as far as you can tolerate. This works for many people and is worth trying. You have nothing to lose. Report back after sleeping this way for a few days.

[PEF]

I agree that wearing a cervical collar to bed might help. Several members of this forum suggest that to me and it has helped a lot keeping my airway open at night.

Look into a condition called UARS - Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome. I also have a weird jawline and misaligned teeth. This is what I think I have and APAP has helped me a lot to feel better. The expert on this condition is Dr. Steven Park, who has a book called "Sleep Interrupted". I want to warn you that if you have UARS and not OSA, the current sleep apnea test will indicate you do not need PAP. Most sleep centers and doctors don'r recognize this condition.

But first, I would go to an emergency counselling center to get immediate help. Then someone there can help you prioritize and solve your problems.

Good luck to you.

[Julie]

PEF there is nothing so far to suggest the OP has UARS, and the fact your anatomical features as you described them just means you're as likely to have apnea as anyone else with those features. They are no more indicative of UARS than other features and suggesting the OP won't need (or should not even try) Cpap is not a good idea, certainly premature and can steer the newbie off on the wrong path for no reason. I know you're new here yourself, and maybe should be a bit careful about advising too quickly.

[HoseCrusher]

If you were my son we would have this discussion...

Your brain is not working properly. In order to figure out what to do you need to have clear and logical thinking ability.

Many times the brain deteriorates due to an improper diet. There is a gut-brain connection and when your brain function falls off it most likely is due to a problem with the gut-brain communication.

Since you are thinking impaired you need someone to help you make the correct decisions on the course of action you need to follow. If you play sports a team mate can help. If you have a girl friend, she may be able to help. If you have a brother or sister, they may be able to help. If all else fails you may approach your parents. How about a close friend? Also you can reach out to the various resources on campus but I think it is better if someone closer to you can step in at this time of crisis.

At this point I will point out that you have no business being in college. Your brain is not working and you will learn and understand a lot more if you take some time to get things under control and then continue your education. Talk to the dean and see if you can get a leave of absence to work this out and not suffer a financial crisis.

One of the issues with brain health is your diet. I would tell you to eliminate sugar from your diet and cut down on carbohydrates. This will get you started in the healing process. Once you are back to being totally brilliant without excess emotions you can do further exploration on your diet.

Now a change in diet and support from a friend isn't going to do everything. You need to monitor your hormones and make sure they are at the proper levels and you need restful sleep. If you have a sleep breathing disorder you will find help using xPAP therapy. However you need to have your brain working reasonably well to help you embrace the changes needed to benefit from this therapy. You also need testing to determine if there is a problem.

You asked "WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO" This will give you a direction that will give you a good chance of making the correct decisions with the help of your friendly advocate and provide hope that is needed to raise you out of despair.

Since you are not my son, I can only hope that you find your way and greatly improve. College is tough but it shouldn't take you down.

[Julie]

"You have no business being in college. Your brain is not working. Since you are thinking impaired"

And your license to practice psychiatry on a total stranger (much younger than you, desperate and likely impressionable) came from which school?

Wow... it may be a good thing the OP hasn't come back.

[HoseCrusher]

Julie, I don't need a license to understand that frequent episodes of breaking out crying, depression, and contemplating suicide is not a sign of a healthy fully functioning brain.

If you were my daughter and presented with similar symptoms I would offer you the same counsel.

[Julie]

Such blatant judgments are not my idea of 'counsel'. That brain is working or he/she wouldn't have asked for help here.