Seeking advice from single CPAP users.

tarzan · Post by **tarzan** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 9:51 pm

I'm new to this, only had my cpap for a couple of days. I know from reading the forums that a lot of you on this board were already married when you started using the cpap. Currently I'm not dating anyone. But my concern as I get into the habit of using this on a regular basis, is that if I get intimate with a woman, and she eventually comes to my place and sees that machine, or worse yet sees me wearing it, it'll freak her out. She might see me as a guy with high-maintainance health problems that she'd rather not deal with.

Are there any single CPAP users here, and if so, what have your experiences been with dating or other romantic/intimate encounters with that special someone?

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DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:03 pm

Then just get yourself another Jane dude! Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Seriously though, your health should come first and you shouldn't hide it since she will eventually find out. Of course all this is easier said than done.

Best of luck with both issues.

- roberto

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:11 pm

Don't let her see you swinging on your hose.

If Jane has a problem with it after you explain, their's always the Chimp.

We all have baggage, chances are, she has as many packed up as you, at least you are dealing with yours. Jim

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:11 pm

As Roberto said, your health comes first.

Besides, with CPAP usage, you'll have more energy and won't be falling asleep at "inappropriate" times.

Den

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:25 am

I agree with the earlier replies to your message -- health comes first. However, as a single guy, I empathize fully with your quandary.

I've had numerous dates since starting my CPAP therapy, some of which have included a visit to the boudoir, but none have ended in an overnight stay. I have not made an effort to hide the CPAP machine which holds a prominent place on my nightstand, but have generally tucked away the hose and headgear for fear of having them misunderstood as either more serious medical equipment or S&M gear. Let's face it, there must be a little masochist in all of us to endure what we do with the CPAP every night!

On the two occassions when I've been asked about the machine, I've been completely up front about it and the response has been "Well, if it helps, that's all that matters." and is usually accompanied by a story of a relative, friend or co-worker who is a CPAPer or could benefit from a sleep study.

I'm not interested in being a "poster boy" for the CPAP cause, but I've come to the conclusion that the therapy is an integral part of my well being and lifelong committment, so I might as well be honest about it.

Kurtchan

kurtchan · Post by **kurtchan** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:26 am

Sorry, the reply above is from me.

Kurtchan

rotoplooker · Post by **rotoplooker** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:44 am

I'm really honest with people, I'm single in my 30's, trying to find my princess

I make a joke out of it and say something like, "I have to wear this and it makes me feel great, otherwise I'm going to snore and I know it's non-sexy darth vader gear but snoring is seriously NOT sexy"

It's not right to lie about something that helps you and makes you feel great. I guess I'd rather be honest about it and use it, than leave it off and wake up alone

Was Darth Vader on C Flex?

Roto

JCraig · Post by **JCraig** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:45 am

I feel for you man. Like everyone has said, your health comes first -- you could die or kill someone if you don't receive treatment. But...yeah...you're in a bad situation and it's probably going to suck no matter what. Hopefully you have good luck finding a woman who understands.

Sleepless in St. Louis · Post by **Sleepless in St. Louis** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:05 am

My feeling, being in the same boat, is that anyone I'd be interested in having a long term friendship/relationship with should put my heath over whatever unconfortable feelings they may have about the cpap equipment. Like someone else said, everybody has something to deal with and who would really want to be around a totally "perfect" person anyway. That in my opinion would be BORING. I figure I may scare a few away (heck I do that anyway) but I think you can tell a few things about someone by the way they react to situations like this. If they freak out, I'll be saying, "NEXT".

Tim

Handgunner45 · Post by **Handgunner45** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:15 am

Check out my post on this thread.
viewtopic.php?t=12363

Arkanoid · Post by **Arkanoid** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:21 am

While no longer single (married 2 weeks ago), I was not on the CPAP when I met her. I met her over a year ago and went on CPAP in April. I was very up front with her about it and her thoughts on it were what others have echoed. She is more concerned about my health than she is the machine and the mask. I had shown it to her previously and had her listen to it to make sure she could deal with it before we got married. I wasn't looking forward to the future together and finding out that she couldn't stand the noise of the machine when we went to sleep.

Now if there was just a mask that was (somewhat) comfortable and good for cuddling up instead of blowing air straight out the front.

Barry

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:35 am

I think one of the best comments I've seen here was to explain it in ultra-simplified and easy to deal with terms at first:
It's a device that keeps me from snoring so much!

And hey, you can always force the issue when things start looking promising:
Hey baby, wait'll ya see how long my hose is.

or

Oh yeah, I've got a heated hose. Wanna see?

lvehko · Post by **lvehko** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:18 pm

Hey, if you look anything like your avatar, you'll have NO problem with the chicks.

Min

Who would date Tarzan, no matter what he was wearing on his face

Sleepless in St. Louis · Post by **Sleepless in St. Louis** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:36 pm

Being a typical GUY, this thread has gotten me to thinking about how I can use the CPAP thing to my advantage in this department. How can I incorporate the CPAP thing into my mid life crisis? The bad boy thing does no suit me, so that's out. Maybe the wounded puppy act will work nicely? Don't women like to take care of helpless individuals? Hmmm. If that all fails, maybe I can turn my cpap into some sort of pneumatic device... Now if I can only find the right attachment....

Just kidding guys. Best to just be yourself and let the chips fall where they will.

Tim

CollegeGirl · Post by **CollegeGirl** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:51 pm

I'm single and 27. So far, I've only seriously dated one guy since being diagnosed over a year ago, and he was fine with it. The relationship didn't last, but it had nothing to do with that. I think it's even harder for women - no offense guys. It's just that there is absolutely nothing feminine about aCPAP. But snoring isn't feminine, either, so it's six of one, half dozen of the other. Any guy that is lucky enough to spend the night with me shouldn't be put off by that little black box - and if he is, he can leave.

Mask

Additional Comments: Started CPAP June 14, 2006, pressure set at 8.0