Dear Ultra Mirage...

CollegeGirl · Post by **CollegeGirl** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:23 pm

Dear Ultra Mirage Full Face Mask,

I'm sure you expected this to be a "Dear John" letter. After all, my relationship with the new man in my life, Headrest, has really taken off. I feel closer to him than I ever did to you. He sees parts of me that you just never did (like the insides of my nostrils).

But then, in the last couple of nights, when I was congested and he just couldn't perform, you were right there, ready and willing to take me back, even if only for a brief time. That kind of loyalty does not go unnoticed.

Don't think that I don't feel guilty - I know that only coming back to you when he's not available must make you feel used and dirty - and I feel terrible about it. Really. But I wanted to thank you for being here for me.

I finally have the medicine I need to get rid of this sinus infection, which means that Headrest will be coming back tomorrow night or the next, and you'll be going back to your cold, dark and lonely drawer.

But know this - I'll be thinking of you as I fall asleep, and your loyalty that just can't be diminished, no matter what. And next time I bring that box of tissues out to sit by my bed, get ready - because I'll be back in your velcro straps before you know it.

Love,

Me.

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:33 pm

Just goes to show, women are fickle! Jim

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:25 pm

Goofproof wrote:Just goes to show, women are fickle! Jim

The words that came to my mind were creative, comical and adorable!

Very fun post to read. Thanks, CG.

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:49 pm

Thanks for the unexpected midnight smile. Hope that new relationship keeps a smile on your face every day.

Along the same line... the new doctor went down the list of obligatory questions, and caught me off guard with their phraseology when they asked, "And how many sleeping partners do you have?" My mind went where yours did, but you took the ball and ran with it. Gotta get our giggles where we can, right?

Kathy

Darth Vader Look · Post by **Darth Vader Look** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:14 am

I had to give my face a wash with cold water.

Missy · Post by **Missy** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:54 am

College Girl-I hope you're going to be a journalist or something. You sure do have a talent! Thanks for the smile....

Sleepless in St. Louis · Post by **Sleepless in St. Louis** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:46 am

Dear College Girl.

I have suspected for quite a while that there was another mask in your life. You didn't think I'd notice the strange marks on your face? Or the smell of a foreign silicone on your breath? PLEASE! Now it's confirmed. Man, I'm really hosed. I thougth we were such a good fit. Hand in glove comes to mind. It was like we attached at the nose!! This blows. I'm so sad. I can't believe this other mask can regulate your breathing the way I can. Not to be nosy, but what does this other mask have that I don't? Increased air flow. Oy. I can do better....I promise.... if you'll just give me another chance. Please don't blow me off. I feel so deflated, as if all the air was sucked out of the room. Can't we just start over? if not, please put me up on Ebay or something.

Yours forever.

Ultra Mirage Full Face Mask.

P.S. I didn't want to mention it before, but you might consider gargling a little before bedtime. I'm just saying....

PSS. I take that back. It was a cheap shot. I live for those sweet nothings you breathe into my ear every night.

oldgearhead · Post by **oldgearhead** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:01 am

....ROF..LOL..
You people are too funny..

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:04 am

SIST:

GREAT REPLY!!! Oops, I mean UMFF (not SIST). My bad.

kavanaugh1950 · Post by **kavanaugh1950** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:57 am

that was the funniest message I ever read. I too sleeo with an ultra Mirage ff mask and since I got a larger size I love it. Who said bigger isn't better!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:58 pm

That's some pretty funny stuff you two.

Dear Ultra Mirage...

Dear Ultra Mirage...

Bed buddies