My Apology to Bleeping Beauty and the forum

[Enchanter]

What I said and the words I used to Bleeping Beauty were unacceptable and has no place here. I didn't mean anything by it and don't have any personal animosity towards you or women. It was purely out of frustration and ego. I was being a child. But that is no excuse for my behavior. I should have known better and do know better. It was actually very selfish and stubborn of me. I will admit that I have not got very far with my therapy and out of frustration and stubbornness, I felt entitled to become more and more selfish and demand answers from everyone. But there is no excuse. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to rectify my situation and I am sorry for everything that was said and didn't mean the words I used in any form. I am being honest when I say that I didn't mean the words. But I did act out on my emotions and take it out on you and I was just completely unacceptable, immature and distasteful.

I also realized that the rest of the forum felt what I said and wanted to apologize to all of you. I am not a troll, but am a real person and at times I have a hard time concentrating on things and getting simple tasks done. I have been suffering everyday with headaches upon waking up and fatigue for the last decade, and it all started when I was still young. From failing sleep tests, to not getting help from Apria, being confused, not understanding things and continuing to feel fatigued and lethargic, I became more selfish, very childish and mad at everyone, and acted as if everyone was against me. I wanted to gain an upper hand, that is all. So that is on me and I own it. I still should respond in a civil manner and it's still my responsibility to make things happen in my life. I know that all of you have your own problems whether it's medical or personal. At times I acted like I'm the only one in the world that matters and acted as if I should have all the attention focused on my problems. The people in my life don't understand sleep apnea and only until recently said they would try to listen. So I felt like this was the one place that could help me and save me from all the suffering. However, that doesn't change the fact that my behavior has been immature and irrational. There is no place for that and I do understand.

[Lucyhere]

Wow! I'm new here and you don't know me. Obviously, your words were not directed towards me. However, you just wrote a very courageous and beautifully written post, and I hope that others will see the sincerity in your words. It's obvious you are now on the right path. Keep up the good work!

[tlohse]

That was a very noble and honest thing you did by emmitting what you said was wrong and apologizing. Alot of people would not have the guts to do that.

[ephraimh]

Enchanter,

It's not often that people apologize and acknowledge their behavior. For people to do so on the Internet, is even more than amazing. From someone who has blown up and thrown far too many tantrums, well done.

[HoseCrusher]

I know you are having problems with your hose. Buy one of these and that problem will be resolved.

https://www.cpap.com/productpage/6-ft-1 ... -ends.html

[49er]

Enchanter,

It takes a real big person to apologize in the manner that you did. Kudos to you for that.

I wish you nothing but the best in getting your therapy on track.

49er

[Julie]

I think that's the best apology I've seen in a long time on the forum! Good for you for understanding that we're all in this crazy boat and just trying to do what we can to help each other, though it is pretty hard sometimes to be able to see that. You will succeed at getting better and we will help however we can. It occurred to me that only after a long time into your story back in the summer did we realize you were dealing with Apria (yuck!) but by then things had taken on such a life of their own you might not have been given enough credit for being stuck with them. They really need to be taken to court or something for what they put people through!

[PoolQ]

We done and I hope you are as proud of yourself as you deserve to be!

[Madalot]

Enchanter, that was a very nice apology and I commend you for making it. Everybody deserves a second chance and I know that many, myself included, will give you that chance and do what they can to help.

I DO believe that the smartest thing for you, and the forum, is to not overwhelm you with suggestions and ideas. Perhaps listening to one or two people ONLY would be best.

And to that end, I will stay out of your situation, but I will be watching and reading and cheering you on from the sidelines. I hope others will follow my lead on this one....

[herefishy]

Great restart, Enchanter, we're rooting for you.

[BlackSpinner]

Good apology and it shows understanding of the issues.

It really illustrates some of the effects of sleep deprivation (both in you and some of the other posters)

Your ARE entitled to get decent service from your DME, but at this point you will need to face them to demand it and that can be very hard if you have issues with confrontation.

[Cardsfan]

Best of luck in your cpap journey

[Papit]

I have extra hoses for both ResMed and Respironics machines, Enchanter. If you remind me which brand machine you're using and PM me your mailing address, I'll send you a hose. Good luck.

[CaptainRaven40]

Good luck Enchanter and if I can help in any way I will.

[chunkyfrog]

Good luck, Enchanter. Praise for your maturity.
Good catch, Madalot. Good work, Julie.
Many of the rest of us are able to deal with multiple suggestions,
even when some conflict with one another, but not everybody.
One on one seems to be the best way in this case.