Support for partners of people with sleep aponea

apneapatner · Post by **apneapatner** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:35 am

Does anyone know of any support groups of partners with sleep apnea. I live with my partner and tell you the truth he is finding it unbearable. He has had a CPAP machine which isn't working, he finds it hard to keep the mask on and even harder to breathe "against the air" looking through the BIPAP machine would be better, the main problem is we live in the UK and there aren't many sleep clinics around, the one he uses he waited 9 months for an appointment where hopefully he would get a BIPAP but it was cancelled the morning of admission after there not being enough beds. We will have to wait another 3 months The poor guy is getting no sleep and no help. Im trying to be as helpful as possible but i can't do much. After another restless sleep of worrying i am still wondering what to do.

snoozie_suzy · Post by **snoozie_suzy** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:25 am

apneapartner,

I haven't really searched the web for "support groups" although I'm sure if you Google the words "support group for apnea" it should give you something.

Tell your friend to come to this website. There are many member from many different countries (some UK also) that might be able to guide him in a better direction. Even possibly ordering equipment more suited towards him from this website, to save money. The people on this forum are incredible. I wouldn't be as successful in my treatment today if it weren't for this forum.

Good Luck.
Suzy

Sleepless in St. Louis · Post by **Sleepless in St. Louis** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:35 am

I think we also need a apnea support group for singles. Having apnea is one more thing to worry about when playing the Dating Game. I'm very open with friends and family about this issue, but it's more compicated in a dating type of situation. Should I mention it, should I not? That whole issue is a little vexing. My gut tells me that I should just put it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I think some people's normal reaction would be one of fright the first time they see the mask and machine THE HOSE yikes.It's all very unnatural to someone who has not been exposed to it.
Anyone have any stories to share on this topic?

aponeapartner · Post by **aponeapartner** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:59 am

In reply to the dating game - when i first met my other half i have to admit the machine did scare me a little... It was either the machine or him pretending to be Tom Cruise in top gun!
The truth is yeah there are a lot of women that would run a mile but if shes genuinely interested in you she wont mind, I always tell him its great as i have air conditioning in bed!!

Patrick A · Post by **Patrick A** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:34 am

I would venture to say that this is a support group!

Sleepless in St. Louis · Post by **Sleepless in St. Louis** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:38 am

I would venture to say that this is a support group!

Good point Patrick. Now all's I have to do is GET a date to see how this whole thing plays out.
Not that anyone cares, but I've sorta been been sitting on the sidlines whilst I try to get this apnea problem in check. For a while there I was too tired to even try very hard. Things are improving though.

apneapartner · Post by **apneapartner** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:44 am

just got in from work and shattered as usual, so i will make this short. i have never thought that there would be discussion groups online about the terrible conditions that we all suffer from. it is warming to know that i am not alone in my suffering but sometimes it is made harder for me by seeing the people close to me hurting because of the changes that are common occurence in my behavior and state of well being.
perhaps (maybe there already is, but i haven't been told about it by any consultant or councillor) there should be support groups for the partners and spouses.
after all they go through worry as well, we are all human.
when i met my gorgeous better half, i was straight up honest with her and pre warned her before we got to the bedroom stage so she saw what the mask was and even found it a bit funny.
if they love you they wont be put off, i am lucky to find true love. she is a real gem.
i look forward to later reading your forum and hopefully participating a bit better.
but now i need sustenance and sleep, chat later
Phil

Handgunner45 · Post by **Handgunner45** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:07 am

Was going to pull up the old thread on XPAP and dating, but will post this here.
Started dating a wonderful lady a while back and was really nervous about the CPAP and bedroom thing. I was up front and told her that I slept with a "breathing machine" and night to prevent me from stopping breathing. She seemed really ok with it. When we reached the "bedroom stage", and were about to fall asleep that first night, my CPAP was in my car. She asked me "do you need to get your machine?" I told her that I could do without it for one night and it wasn't a problem. She responded "your not going to stop breathing and die on me are you? I don't want to have to find someone in the morning to help me get rid of the body!" We both got a good laugh at that. Second night we were together, I again did not use the machine. Both of those nights went really well, I am pretty sure that I spent both sleeping on my side and didn't have any problems. After the third night, she actually told me that I wasn't sleeping without my machine any more. Seems that I had rolled to my back several times that night and was making her very nervous that I would stop breathing. She spent most of the night getting me to roll back to my side. Since that night I have been back to 100% compliance, and we have worked it out that we can still go to sleep cuddled up together without the mask causing to much of a problem.

So, anyone that is wondering, if you find the right person (I am sure I have!!!) IT CAN STILL WORK!!!!!

terry22 · Post by **terry22** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:15 pm

Sleepless in St. Louis wrote:I think we also need a apnea support group for singles. Having apnea is one more thing to worry about when playing the Dating Game. I'm very open with friends and family about this issue, but it's more compicated in a dating type of situation. Should I mention it, should I not? That whole issue is a little vexing. My gut tells me that I should just put it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I think some people's normal reaction would be one of fright the first time they see the mask and machine THE HOSE yikes.It's all very unnatural to someone who has not been exposed to it.
Anyone have any stories to share on this topic?

My now partner told me very early on, before we started going out together properly, and showed me a link to a picture of the machine on the internet, as well as demonstrating the sound. It's never been a problem with me at all, and I certainly don't find the machine or mask frightening or unnatural. It's kinda cute, actually. So my advice would be to tell her early on and ease her into it, rather than go for the "surprise" factor - if she likes you, the machine won't make a bit of a difference.

Support for partners of people with sleep aponea

Support for partners of people with sleep aponea

dating and apnea

hi there, apneapartner partner here

Machine