Which feels worse: severe sleep apnea or nursing a newborn?

[DougalMcDougal]

Hi all

which is worse, having severe sleep apnea or having to nurse a new born baby?

I was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, RDI = 38, o2 sat down to 79%, and apneic episodes lasting 25 to 79 seconds

my wife is not very sympathetic because she says her sleep issues are worse than mine as she currently wakes up 4 to 6 times per night to breastfeed our baby, typically every 90-120 minutes, each feed taking 20 minutes, involving getting out of bed to get the baby, and then she has to try to get back to sleep at the end of each feed

very different situations but which feels worse? any ladies out there with similar AHI and experience of having a newborn?

Dougal McDougal

[ughwhatname]

Unlike yours, your wife's condition is temporary. Certainly impacts sleep, sure, but still temporary.

Hi all

which is worse, having severe sleep apnea or having to nurse a new born baby?

I was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, RDI = 38, o2 sat down to 79%, and apneic episodes lasting 25 to 79 seconds

my wife is not very sympathetic because she says her sleep issues are worse than mine as she currently wakes up 4 to 6 times per night to breastfeed our baby, typically every 90-120 minutes, each feed taking 20 minutes, involving getting out of bed to get the baby, and then she has to try to get back to sleep at the end of each feed

very different situations but which feels worse? any ladies out there with similar AHI and experience of having a newborn?

Dougal McDougal

[ddk]

I believe I've had sleep apnea my whole life but was only recently diagnosed and got a machine. Before I got the machine, I used to describe what I was feeling to people as, "Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?"

Then, after therapy, I suddenly realised that this was a completely inaccurate analogy. I had never known anything different until the machine so I had nothing else to compare it to. But after just ONE HOUR of therapy, I felt more refreshed and awake than I had in my entire life.

What she, and most people, don't seem to understand is that even a few minutes of proper sleep is better than what a severe OSA sufferer experiences. We are not getting the benefits of the later stages of sleep, where the brain and body repair itself. You could sleep ten hours and still not feel, or BE, as physically and mentally refreshed as she could with an hour's sleep (assuming she's not also suffering from sleep apnea).

So... no, it's not the same, not by a very long shot.

[mamagoober]

I don't have sleep apnea (my husband does), but I have nursed 4 babies. My opinion is that sleep apnea is worse. Sure, she's up for longer, but she may also get longer blocks of sleep. Her situation is temporary. And I never knew my o2 to plummet while up with a baby. So, based on that, you're worse off.

...but not as bad off as you will be if you tell her you have it worse. She has raging hormones and while they may not disrupt her sleep, they might disrupt you if you don't show her some compassion. Just because your situation is worse without treatment, hers is still making her tired and grumpy and there's no treatment available.

[jen4700]

Sorry dude - you lose. Your wife is dealing with hormones. And if this is her first then there is all sorts of worry and stress.

[jnk]

At first I didn't open the thread because I assumed it was another Lansinoh cream discussion.

Dude, the wife is gonna be considered right about pretty much everything until the kid is, like, at least three years old. It's a rule.

After that, you can argue about hypothetical "which is worse" stuff all you want and then try to get forums to take your side.

Just sayin'.

[jjlady]

The wife is always right "Happy Wife, Happy Life", a motto for you to live by!!

[grillhead]

She could always co-sleep with the baby. No getting up, just let him/her latch on, and she can go back to sleep. Your situation on the other hand isn't as easy to fix.

[jwerley]

Hi all

which is worse, having severe sleep apnea or having to nurse a new born baby?

I was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, RDI = 38, o2 sat down to 79%, and apneic episodes lasting 25 to 79 seconds

my wife is not very sympathetic because she says her sleep issues are worse than mine as she currently wakes up 4 to 6 times per night to breastfeed our baby, typically every 90-120 minutes, each feed taking 20 minutes, involving getting out of bed to get the baby, and then she has to try to get back to sleep at the end of each feed

very different situations but which feels worse? any ladies out there with similar AHI and experience of having a newborn?

Dougal McDougal

SLEEP APNEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN A CAMPARISON I WOULD TRADE WITH HER IN A SECOND AND I AM OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nanwilson]

....does it have to be a he's right, she's right situation, there is enough stress in both your lives right now to end up argueing about it.. Enjoy the newborn while you can...they are precious...until they become teenagers There is no one that is right on this one, you both will recover...she when the babe stops nursing and you when your therapy becomes habit and it is working.
Cheers

[lazer]

At first I didn't open the thread because I assumed it was another Lansinoh cream discussion.

Dude, the wife is gonna be considered right about pretty much everything until the kid is, like, at least three years old. It's a rule.

After that, you can argue about hypothetical "which is worse" stuff all you want and then try to get forums to take your side.

Just sayin'.

I was going to post this (below) and just say you will both be much happier but then I seen the OP uses a FFM and not nasal pillows.. Oh well



But then again, I've never breast fed so not sure I can add anything off benefit otherwise. I do know the "nipple cream" has worked on my tender nares though caused occasionally by my xPAP nasal pillows mask.

[The Choker]

Dude, the wife is gonna be considered right about pretty much everything until the kid is, like, at least three years old. It's a rule.

I'm printing this out to show my wife. My youngest is 23.

[chunkyfrog]

Different, but also from different perspectives.
When the baby is too old to nurse, she will miss it--even though she may not see that happening now.
Enjoy your tiny miracle together. It is a beautiful thing--even with the sacrifice.
Everyone's OWN pain is the worst--at least when we feel alone in our misery.

[Janknitz]

If this is a competition, you lose. As was said before, the key to a successful marriage is "The wife is always right." Even when she's wrong, she's right. If you don't believe me, ask my husband.

Do you really want this to be a competition???

[Gerald?]

It's pretty close run thing, but the biggest difference is that when she gets big blocks of sleep it is actually restorative.

Having said that you can't reason with your wife at the moment. I think having a newborn for a mother is a lot like being an inmate at GITMO.

You are confined to the house;
You have to wear baggy crappy pjs all day;
You get woken up at random intervals by someone screaming at you;
Then they attach a torture device to your nipples;
They keep screaming at you to do something but you don't know what they want;
Sanitary conditions are such that you are regularly in contact with other's fecal matter and urine;
There is no prospect of release within the next 20 or so years.

Best to just try and get some sleep.