Hi,
I am new to this whole sleep apnea thing. I understand what it is, though I never in a million years thought I would have it. I don't snore and I don't have my tonsils anymore. What brought me to this point? Long story short, I started falling asleep at work and on two occasions while driving. My neurologist sent me to get a sleep study and I must admit I was HORRIFIED when I saw the mask. The internal med doctor suspected both sleep apnea and narcolepsy even before the test.
Her first step is to get the apnea under control, then deal with the narcolepsy. Tonight I am going in for my second study with the CPAP to regulate (?) the air flow. I can't imagine a single woman (I'm 37) in a serious relationship (which I currently am in) and eventually having to bring out the CPAP at bedtime. I jokingly say "it'll ruin my image" (I am trying to have a positive attitude about it).
I've never been one to be bothered by things like this, but I am having trouble getting past the idea of being dependent on it. I know it's necessary because I am on 30 days FMLA due to not being able to drive (just too risky right now), and my job is at risk because of failure to function fully. Even getting to work on time has become a problem. Lunch breaks have been spent sleeping in the car.
I've heard nothing but positive things about the end results of using CPAP, please help me see beyond the appearance issue (I guess I will see myself as unattractive to my mate).
Thanks for any input.
New to this whole thing..scared
Think about it this way, if he has issues with your new friend, he's not half as serious as he should be. Explain your medical condition to him before you haul out the mask & hose. He may even find it interesting. And it's going to make you feel so much better and more energetic. I can't think of any reason why any one would want to put appearance before well-being. And don't be horrified.....there are lots of us out here.......many with mates.....and we are living better with cpap. A secret......I,too, was somewhat horrified a few short weeks ago. NOW when bedtime or nap-time are in my sights,I look forward to masking up......and I use a full face mask. Perceptions change when you benefit by it. So, do relax, get your guy on your team, and go forward with the learning process.......Think like a cat.......everything is meant to be played with!
Welcome, Jenniferk.
You're not alone. There are lot of us out there suffering from this same affliction.
Judging by a lot of the posts here, your reaction is not an uncommon one.
My girlfriend LIKES the mask. Well, not exactly the mask, but the fact that I now sleep soundly, and don't wake her when I have an arousal after an apnic event.
I'm sure an understanding and compassionate partner will love you all the same, mask or not. It might just take a little getting used to.
regards,
-Cam.
You're not alone. There are lot of us out there suffering from this same affliction.
Judging by a lot of the posts here, your reaction is not an uncommon one.
My girlfriend LIKES the mask. Well, not exactly the mask, but the fact that I now sleep soundly, and don't wake her when I have an arousal after an apnic event.
I'm sure an understanding and compassionate partner will love you all the same, mask or not. It might just take a little getting used to.
regards,
-Cam.
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GarthsWorld
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:42 am
JENNIFERK,
I was also horrified last April when I was diagnosed. My Dr. diagnosed sleep apnea and delayed sleep phase syndrome even before the first sleep study. I was even more horrified when I went for the second sleep study to find the proper setting on the CPAP and wore the mask. But I woke after that second sleep study feeling very different. I wasn't exhausted. And from the first night I had the CPAP at home, I got the same results. I don't snore, either, although many people assume you "MUST" snore to have sleep apnea. Living in a small studio apartment, it's always been difficult for me to adhere to most of the "sleep hygiene" reccomendations as the bed is part of the multipurpose furniture. Putting on the mask has become something that signals "SLEEP!" for me, and I've been getting to sleep much quicker. I haven't had issue with anyone being shocked or appalled by the CPAP machine... only surprise about how quite it is. I take that back.. my cat was not too sure of it at first, but came back around after a few nights (as long as the vent isn't blowing on him). It's just a machine we use to be well, it doesn't change anything about us as people, and most compassionate people understand that. Yeah, it sucks that this is the treatment that works, but I've found the benefits from it to be worth the hastle. One other benefit I've found... I have dreams! I used to say I never had them, and everyone would say "you have them, you just don't remember them". Well, I never had them because my sleep was so fragmented. It's been an interesting plus!
Best of luck! Garth
I was also horrified last April when I was diagnosed. My Dr. diagnosed sleep apnea and delayed sleep phase syndrome even before the first sleep study. I was even more horrified when I went for the second sleep study to find the proper setting on the CPAP and wore the mask. But I woke after that second sleep study feeling very different. I wasn't exhausted. And from the first night I had the CPAP at home, I got the same results. I don't snore, either, although many people assume you "MUST" snore to have sleep apnea. Living in a small studio apartment, it's always been difficult for me to adhere to most of the "sleep hygiene" reccomendations as the bed is part of the multipurpose furniture. Putting on the mask has become something that signals "SLEEP!" for me, and I've been getting to sleep much quicker. I haven't had issue with anyone being shocked or appalled by the CPAP machine... only surprise about how quite it is. I take that back.. my cat was not too sure of it at first, but came back around after a few nights (as long as the vent isn't blowing on him). It's just a machine we use to be well, it doesn't change anything about us as people, and most compassionate people understand that. Yeah, it sucks that this is the treatment that works, but I've found the benefits from it to be worth the hastle. One other benefit I've found... I have dreams! I used to say I never had them, and everyone would say "you have them, you just don't remember them". Well, I never had them because my sleep was so fragmented. It's been an interesting plus!
Best of luck! Garth
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Guest
Jenniferk,
I've been on the machine for about 3 weeks. The last 3 nights have been terrible because I have a head cold and can't use the machine.
First, allow me to point out that you are not dependent on the machine. You've been living without it for 37 years. It will, however, dramatically improve the quality of your life. We use many things that improve our quality of life. Things like houses, cars, bathrooms, fire, etc. This is just one more thing to make your life better.
And, if you're in a serious relationship with someone who is not supportive as you adjust to this, it's better to find out now.
Jim
I've been on the machine for about 3 weeks. The last 3 nights have been terrible because I have a head cold and can't use the machine.
First, allow me to point out that you are not dependent on the machine. You've been living without it for 37 years. It will, however, dramatically improve the quality of your life. We use many things that improve our quality of life. Things like houses, cars, bathrooms, fire, etc. This is just one more thing to make your life better.
And, if you're in a serious relationship with someone who is not supportive as you adjust to this, it's better to find out now.
Jim
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NightHawkeye
- Posts: 2431
- Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:55 am
- Location: Iowa - The Hawkeye State
Re: New to this whole thing..scared
It sounds like you'll want to minimize the mask. You might want to look through the masks available on CPAP.com. Some of the smallest masks are the ones that folks here give rave reviews to.JENNIFERK wrote:I jokingly say "it'll ruin my image"
After two months, I'm into my third mask now. It's called the Swift and it's considerably smaller than the others, plus I'm beginning to like it better.
Also, you need to remember that your health care providers work for you. When you need to change something, like the mask, don't ask, tell.
With your attitude, you should do fine. There are lots of good folks here willing to help get you through this.
Regards,
Bill
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Guest
Jenniferk,
One more thing.
Adjusting to CPAP is half good equipment and half attitude.
For the equipment part, read all you can. This forum is a great source of information.
For the attitude part, eagerly look on this as an opportunity to greatly improve your life. It's not something you have to get used to. Rather, it's something you want to get used to. I looked forward to my first night at home on CPAP as was rewarded with seven and a half hours of the best sleep I've had in 10+ years.
Jim
One more thing.
Adjusting to CPAP is half good equipment and half attitude.
For the equipment part, read all you can. This forum is a great source of information.
For the attitude part, eagerly look on this as an opportunity to greatly improve your life. It's not something you have to get used to. Rather, it's something you want to get used to. I looked forward to my first night at home on CPAP as was rewarded with seven and a half hours of the best sleep I've had in 10+ years.
Jim
Hey Jennifer,
Just let me add another voice of reassurance. The treatment is about as non-issue with side affects as you can get. With drugs and such there are always potential side affects. Okay, so CPAP has some too, areophagia being the most serious. It basically means you might wind up expelling some "extra pressure", burping and possibly flatulence , in the mornings. In some cases you can get cramps from it.
The second is compliance and just getting used to all the stuff on your face. For me it took: taping my mouth, hanging the tube through a bungee behind my head, the aussie heated hose, and elevating my legs to get a good nights sleep. But now it works just fine and I just slap on everything and go to sleep. Remember that it will probably take some time to get it "right" and the first few nights may be quite bad. (To be honest, my first night was hellacious and I was very unhappy the next day. But within a week it was working just fine.)
It may take a while to feel better too. You just got to have a little patience with it and understand how to tweak things.
It can be difficult with bedtime as well and it can be annoying to get all setup instead of just falling into bed and going to sleep.
Okay so all that above is the potential "down side". Now let me give you why it is worth it...
So this first one doesn't apply to you, but I snore. I mean I SNORE! Shake the rafters, blow the doors off, wake the kids up down the hall snore. My wife suffered with this for a decade. She would get ear infections because she had to wear earplugs all the time. Now, we both get a good night's sleep and she no longer dreams of snuffing me with a pillow in the night.
I have had no acid reflux issues since starting treatment. I have had no migraines since then. And while I didn't have too much of the daytime sleepiness issue, I do find I can get out of bed a lot easier than I used too. So I think it is helping me. And, for me, the snoring stoppage is enough reason to keep using it.
As for the intimate relationships... Well if this guy really cares for you he would want you to feel better and not be bothered by what you look like while sleeping. Who cares if you look like Darth Vader when you sleep? Heck, my wife says I look like Gonzo from the Muppets. She said the snoring bothered her but the sudden stoppage of breathing bothered her a heck of a lot more.
My advice is that you like to cuddle and other intimate things do that first and when the snuggling is over, get up put on the contraption and get some good sleep. My wife still manages to snuggle up to me even with the mask on.
And finally, sleep apnea isn't something you want to ignore. It can kill you, and that's no BS. Again I don't want to scare you too much, but you need to realize that this is something you have to deal with before it becomes a serious condition. You didn't mention anything about your AHI and pulseOx levels. Did you find those out? Knowledge is important in dealing effectively with this condition.
Good luck, there's a lot of people here who will help you all they can. They's good people.
Just let me add another voice of reassurance. The treatment is about as non-issue with side affects as you can get. With drugs and such there are always potential side affects. Okay, so CPAP has some too, areophagia being the most serious. It basically means you might wind up expelling some "extra pressure", burping and possibly flatulence , in the mornings. In some cases you can get cramps from it.
The second is compliance and just getting used to all the stuff on your face. For me it took: taping my mouth, hanging the tube through a bungee behind my head, the aussie heated hose, and elevating my legs to get a good nights sleep. But now it works just fine and I just slap on everything and go to sleep. Remember that it will probably take some time to get it "right" and the first few nights may be quite bad. (To be honest, my first night was hellacious and I was very unhappy the next day. But within a week it was working just fine.)
It may take a while to feel better too. You just got to have a little patience with it and understand how to tweak things.
It can be difficult with bedtime as well and it can be annoying to get all setup instead of just falling into bed and going to sleep.
Okay so all that above is the potential "down side". Now let me give you why it is worth it...
So this first one doesn't apply to you, but I snore. I mean I SNORE! Shake the rafters, blow the doors off, wake the kids up down the hall snore. My wife suffered with this for a decade. She would get ear infections because she had to wear earplugs all the time. Now, we both get a good night's sleep and she no longer dreams of snuffing me with a pillow in the night.
I have had no acid reflux issues since starting treatment. I have had no migraines since then. And while I didn't have too much of the daytime sleepiness issue, I do find I can get out of bed a lot easier than I used too. So I think it is helping me. And, for me, the snoring stoppage is enough reason to keep using it.
As for the intimate relationships... Well if this guy really cares for you he would want you to feel better and not be bothered by what you look like while sleeping. Who cares if you look like Darth Vader when you sleep? Heck, my wife says I look like Gonzo from the Muppets. She said the snoring bothered her but the sudden stoppage of breathing bothered her a heck of a lot more.
My advice is that you like to cuddle and other intimate things do that first and when the snuggling is over, get up put on the contraption and get some good sleep. My wife still manages to snuggle up to me even with the mask on.
And finally, sleep apnea isn't something you want to ignore. It can kill you, and that's no BS. Again I don't want to scare you too much, but you need to realize that this is something you have to deal with before it becomes a serious condition. You didn't mention anything about your AHI and pulseOx levels. Did you find those out? Knowledge is important in dealing effectively with this condition.
Good luck, there's a lot of people here who will help you all they can. They's good people.
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sleepylady
- Posts: 203
- Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:42 am
Hi Jennifer and welcome. We understand what you are going through as we were there once ourselves. When I had my sleep study it was a split night. I got woken up at midnight and told I had to have a mask on. Not totally awake I asked why and the tech said I had sleep apnea. In that moment I was very upset, but did as told and then fell asleep. When I woke up still absolutely exhausted I thought, ok I finally know what I have. Believe me, it was a good thing though hard to take in. I also had a hard time staying awake while driving and on more than one occassion had to fight to stay awake at work. That was very scary. I was resistant to CPAP in the beginning as my sister and cousin had both been on one and it didn't work for them. They developed a lot of allergy problems. I tried the dental device route first and that didn't help even a little. I finally got tired of my life being so compromised and joined the CPAP club late last September. It's changed my life for the better. I wish I would have started back in June, but am just glad I finally did something about my situation.
I'm a single woman, 35, and am in a serious relationship. I was a little concerned about how my boyfriend would see this. He was first and formost happy that I was going to finally feel better. It didn't matter and still doesn't how I look with the mask on. He's just happy I'm safe on the road now and getting healthier. What I did was sit him down and explain what was going on with my health. It scared him how unsafe I was on the road. Anyway, the first official night I had my machine he worked late and came home to find me with my mask on. He kissed me and jokingly said he was sleeping with darth vader and proceeded to cuddle up to my back and hold me.
If your partner isn't supportive then it's better to find out now. If he loves you then he'll accept you as you are and be happy you are getting healthy.
Don't think of it as being dependant upon this machine. It's simply a tool to help you feel better. I think of my APAP as one of my best friends. I never go to sleep without it. It's just one of the nightly things I do. I cuddle with my boyfriend for a good half hour just relaxing and talking about our days and when it's time to sleep I put on my mask and then I'm out for the count.
Melinda
I'm a single woman, 35, and am in a serious relationship. I was a little concerned about how my boyfriend would see this. He was first and formost happy that I was going to finally feel better. It didn't matter and still doesn't how I look with the mask on. He's just happy I'm safe on the road now and getting healthier. What I did was sit him down and explain what was going on with my health. It scared him how unsafe I was on the road. Anyway, the first official night I had my machine he worked late and came home to find me with my mask on. He kissed me and jokingly said he was sleeping with darth vader and proceeded to cuddle up to my back and hold me.
If your partner isn't supportive then it's better to find out now. If he loves you then he'll accept you as you are and be happy you are getting healthy.
Don't think of it as being dependant upon this machine. It's simply a tool to help you feel better. I think of my APAP as one of my best friends. I never go to sleep without it. It's just one of the nightly things I do. I cuddle with my boyfriend for a good half hour just relaxing and talking about our days and when it's time to sleep I put on my mask and then I'm out for the count.
Melinda
Sleeping with Darth Vader
I was also resistant. I knew for YEARS that I had apnea, but was unwilling to get treated until recently - and that treatment came about by accident when, in December, a busy staff at my doctors' practice brought me in to see the wrong doctor! He was expecting a new patient, and I was expecting a new doctor, so we had a really strange conversation for 5 minutes until we both realized we had been "mismatched." He manages their sleep practice, and I had come for a routine physical. Once we realized the mistake, we had to spend another 5 or 10 minutes chatting with each other while the correct partners could be located. He talked me into a sleep study, and now I'm fixed.
"Intimacy" - first of all, the mask doesn't go on until you're ready. Cuddle and spoon all you want with your loved one before putting the mask on.
The machines themselves are small, light, and quiet - at least they are nowadays. One guy here has his inside the nightstand next to his bed, with only the hose coming out.
My wife is THRILLED to no longer have to touch my body 8 times a night to check my temp - to make sure I haven't died.
And I feel MUCH better almost every day.
Doug
"Intimacy" - first of all, the mask doesn't go on until you're ready. Cuddle and spoon all you want with your loved one before putting the mask on.
The machines themselves are small, light, and quiet - at least they are nowadays. One guy here has his inside the nightstand next to his bed, with only the hose coming out.
My wife is THRILLED to no longer have to touch my body 8 times a night to check my temp - to make sure I haven't died.
And I feel MUCH better almost every day.
Doug
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| Additional Comments: AeioMed "Headrest" nasal pillow mask. Everest 2 Travel CPAP | ||||
REPLY FROM JENNIFERK (NEW TO CPAP AND SCARED)
First, thank you all for your words of encouragement. They have helped ease my stress a great deal. I went for my second study (this one using the mask) and though I did feel more alert in the morning, I still found myself sleeping often during the day. I didn't expect overnight success anyway, so it wasn't a big surprise to me. From what I understand it takes about a week to get the machine and be able to use it regularly. I am just looking forward to being able to go a day without feeling like I've been awake for three days.
My doctor put a rush on the results for the air flow to get my machine soon, so I hope to get it even sooner.
It also helped when I read other posts about camping trips, etc. I love to camp and was curious how that would work. I am not normally self conscious of anything, I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I am telling myself it won't be so bad when I am home in my own bed using it and not having all of those leads stuck to me.
Thank you again and I will keep you posted on how things go.
JenK (ps. unusually awake at 1am)... go figure : )
My doctor put a rush on the results for the air flow to get my machine soon, so I hope to get it even sooner.
It also helped when I read other posts about camping trips, etc. I love to camp and was curious how that would work. I am not normally self conscious of anything, I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I am telling myself it won't be so bad when I am home in my own bed using it and not having all of those leads stuck to me.
Thank you again and I will keep you posted on how things go.
JenK (ps. unusually awake at 1am)... go figure : )
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Snoredog
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apneaicinisrael
- Posts: 142
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:41 am
Hi JenK,
Just adding my 2 cents, 'cause with all the 2 cents you collect here, you can turn out to be a rich lady!
Finding this forum and having a positive attitude and patience are the most important steps to success with the world of PAP. I am in my third week and have gotten to the "tweaking" stage. This is a term I honestly never knew not so long ago! And now, it is my mantra! I have figured out my pressures and my machine, now I am working on getting comfortable and finding the right mask and all. That is the challenge.
My husband and my kids think I look like a deep sea diver with the nasal pillows. My kids want to use it to play dress up (not!). The machines purr like a kitten and the sound of my breathing reminds me of the sound of the surf and and sea. And most of all, my husband loves that he no longer needs to kick me 12 times an hour to get me breathing again!
If you also have other issues like narcolepsy, taking care of the OSA end will give you the chance to then start working on the daytime issues. Good luck - keep up your spirit - see humor in the night time get-up! And keep posting
AII
Just adding my 2 cents, 'cause with all the 2 cents you collect here, you can turn out to be a rich lady!
Finding this forum and having a positive attitude and patience are the most important steps to success with the world of PAP. I am in my third week and have gotten to the "tweaking" stage. This is a term I honestly never knew not so long ago! And now, it is my mantra! I have figured out my pressures and my machine, now I am working on getting comfortable and finding the right mask and all. That is the challenge.
My husband and my kids think I look like a deep sea diver with the nasal pillows. My kids want to use it to play dress up (not!). The machines purr like a kitten and the sound of my breathing reminds me of the sound of the surf and and sea. And most of all, my husband loves that he no longer needs to kick me 12 times an hour to get me breathing again!
If you also have other issues like narcolepsy, taking care of the OSA end will give you the chance to then start working on the daytime issues. Good luck - keep up your spirit - see humor in the night time get-up! And keep posting
AII
new to this and scared
Thanks a bunch... and yes, my partner snores something fierce! I've already begun the "honey, it wouldn't hurt to go for a study" stage.
Yes, it is suspected I have narcolepsy as well. And I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder at 17... Gotta love it! I am in worse health than my 62 yr old mother. At least she isn't having to physically deal with all of this.
Jen k
(I'm going to try to go to sleep now- sweet dreams to those with their masks already)
Yes, it is suspected I have narcolepsy as well. And I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder at 17... Gotta love it! I am in worse health than my 62 yr old mother. At least she isn't having to physically deal with all of this.
Jen k
(I'm going to try to go to sleep now- sweet dreams to those with their masks already)