Semi OT: Troll or Elderly?

[Madalot]

A certain poster that has been classified as “troll” (that I won’t name) prompted me to start thinking about this.

When we moved in 2004 and got a new phone number, I looked to see who had the phone number before we got it. For privacy sake, I’ll call him Jack Frost. I have no idea who Jack Frost is or where he moved to. Every once in a while, I would get a call for him and tell the caller that he didn’t have the number anymore.

A few weeks ago, a woman started calling here asking for Jack. I would tell her that he didn’t have the number anymore. She would thank me and hang up. But she KEPT calling, daily, sometimes 3 and 4 times a day. I tried to look up the number she was calling from, but it was unpublished.
Thinking it might be a collection agency (I used to work in that industry and know how that goes sometimes) I kept trying to find out who she was and why she was calling. She wouldn’t tell me, frequently just hanging up on me (a common behavior of bill collectors). I finally got mad and let this woman have it. I SCREAMED at her to stop calling me. She just kept calling. I finally called the number back.

It was a nursing home and the woman is Jack’s wife. I explained what was going on and the woman said “Yes, she’s here. She has dementia and cannot remember things from day to day.”

I felt (and still do) horrible for screaming at this woman. She is 87 years old and desperately trying to find her husband, who is deceased. She doesn’t remember calling me every day.

Now when she calls, I am nice and just tell her that Jack doesn’t have this number anymore. She usually thanks me and hangs up, but yesterday started chatting with me about her age, her memory problems and Christmas.

While the poster that keeps posting questions and comments and never really answers any questions MAY be a troll, it’s also possible that they are elderly and having memory and/or thinking difficulties.

Just a thought.

[jamiswolf]

You're too generous Maddie...I vote troll. Assuming we're thinking of the same person.
J

[Mary Z]

That's a kind way to think of the situation, but I doubt it's and elderly person. Demented for sure, addled, yes, doing this on purpose and laughing at us- indubitably.

[Madalot]

You are probably right (Jamis & Mary) -- and I am inclined to agree.

But I was so sure this woman was calling from a collection agency...I would have banked on it.

Just a random thought for the day...

[mars]

Hi Kathy

Well done finding out who she was,

and good on you for giving her some of your time.



Mars

[Pugsy]

I could have given some thought for "elderly" until my recent reply (yes, I was poking fun) provoked a reply with a big can of spam and my comments in quotes. That pretty much sealed the deal on my feelings about the poster.

[M.D.Hosehead]

Thanks for posting, madalot. It reminded me to maintain a charitable outlook.

It's just possible there could be a non-malignant explanation for the behavior of an apparent troll.

[JohnBFisher]

... Demented for sure, addled, yes, doing this on purpose and laughing at us- indubitably. ...

Perhaps.

However, just as with children, how we respond to even an obvious troll is observed by others. I have little hope the troll will change. What is more important is that others have the chance to learn by the example we set and answers we provide.

I would rather my children observe me consistently be polite and helpful. This is especially important in the face of those who are acting unkind. Eventually, they will face similar problems. My example shows them how to deal with such unkind individuals. They've seen me deal with difficult individuals. They've learned the trick to turning such individuals into advocates. They now also often overcome situations from which others would walk away.

So, just like with my children, I hope that honest answers - even to a troll - will help others who might be watching. The advantage of this type of forum is that others do watch and learn. I would rather that even answers to a troll help others.

Call me mad. It keeps my blood pressure down, might help others. Perhaps an insane approach, but it has worked for me.

[Madalot]

I could have given some thought for "elderly" until my recent reply (yes, I was poking fun) provoked a reply with a big can of spam and my comments in quotes. That pretty much sealed the deal on my feelings about the poster.

Excellent point, Pugsy. On this specific one, I agree. This person's posts are nothing for me except entertainment - good for a laugh or two.

I just don't want us to get "jaded" into thinking that every poster that behaves a little strangely is a troll. I know there have been a few that seemed that way, but turned out not to be.

[Pugsy]

I just don't want us to get "jaded" into thinking that every poster that behaves a little strangely is a troll. I know there have been a few that seemed that way, but turned out not to be.

I agree. This is the reason I will usually just step away and not comment one way or the other. I can't always be a nice and polite as John B is. Just can't keep my mouth shut sometimes. So if I can't say something nice, I just try to avoid saying anything. Long ago I learned that there are some people whom I simply cannot help for any number of reasons and there is no sense in wasting my fingers typing. I did attempt to help this one in question and even sent the Pro 2.4 stuff. I can't help someone who can't or won't help themselves. None of us can. So either this person is really addled and doesn't understand common sense like "see your doctor for your issues" or he is just yanking our chains for grins. Either way we can't expect to help this person and until I got the can of spam..I was going to lean towards "addled" out of courtesy...now it is "yanking chains" and I refuse to give him anything to yank.

[chunkyfrog]

We must deal with fools; for sometimes, we, too are the fool.
Personal experience.

[Lizistired]

Madalot, I can understand the screaming! I've done that. I have had a business' phone number for the last 10 years and still get calls from every new vendor salesperson who gets the call list. Employment reference checks and bill collectors that call back and leave angry messages that I didn't return their call. Those lists never get updated. Sometimes I just say "hold on and I'll get him", and set the phone down. Funny how they always call when you are in the middle of something, like up on a ladder.
I'll get rid of that number and my land line soon. But as we type, congress considers a bill to let companies robo call our cell phones. Then what will we do?

[Perrybucsdad]

Not sure if we are all talking about the same troll, but this troll posts as multiple posters and thus trolls us even more.

[Kody]

Madalot, I can understand the screaming! I've done that. I have had a business' phone number for the last 10 years and still get calls from every new vendor salesperson who gets the call list. Employment reference checks and bill collectors that call back and leave angry messages that I didn't return their call. Those lists never get updated. Sometimes I just say "hold on and I'll get him", and set the phone down. Funny how they always call when you are in the middle of something, like up on a ladder.
I'll get rid of that number and my land line soon. But as we type, congress considers a bill to let companies robo call our cell phones. Then what will we do?

Have the same problem, apparently inherited some dead beats old phone number and have collection agency's calling day and night. I tell them there is no one here by that name, but they never believe you and keep calling back. So I kept blocking out their numbers when they call, but I apparently can only block about 20 numbers at a time, so they still get through. No one I actually know calls me on that number they call my cell instead, so I never answer it. Actually not sure why we even have it. I think the Wife thought we needed it and got it through one of those bundled service packages with the cable company.

[VVV]

Madalot, I cannot comment on the troll as I am not aware of any trolls on the forum.

“Yes, she’s here. She has dementia and cannot remember things from day to day.”

We had a lady that kept calling asking for Barbara. My wife had no tolerance for this and would ignore the calls. Finally I began to try to talk to the lady and find out what was going on thinking she was misdialing a number. It became apparent to me that she had dementia.

I got her to read the number that she was calling and then I called the number. Turned out to be a law firm and the operator said she also often called them asking for Barbara.

Finally figured out the lady lived with a relative and when the relative was out in the yard she would try to call her daughter Barbara.

On another occasion I had to go to the post office (that is an experience in dementia itself). There was a line and an old man with some letters in his hand wandered toward the counter and broke into the line. A lady behind him shouted sternly at him and ordered him to get to the back of the line. He humbly and with a confused look wandered to the back of the line.

Observing the man, I have no doubt that the man was in an early stage of dementia. Madalot, I think it is wonderful of you to be sensitive to this condition. We need to watch out for these people and help them when we can.

There are currently 5 million people in the US with Alzheimer's and this is projected to rise to 13 million over the next 40 years http://www.alz.org/documents_custom/trajectory.pdf

I am not sure how the Alz org keep statistics but there are other kinds of dementia including that caused by stroke, untreated sleep apnea, and other causes of brain damage.