newbie nervousness

[sl33py]

I was just diagnosed this morning after my sleep study and given a CPAP machine. My husband, who is normally very supportive, has been very skeptical about this and had said before I was diagnosed that he does not want to sleep with a machine, so I'm feeling insecure and nervous. I also thought I'd get checked and that they would say that nothing was wrong with my sleeping and that I just needed to sleep more, so I am surprised with the results. Any positive thoughts for a nervous newbie nellie? Any words of wisdom that you'd care to share?

[Lizistired]

Ask him if he would prefer to sleep with a corpse!
No, don't ask him. Take care of you. Sleep apnea has very gradual effects and we don't know how bad we feel until we start to feel better.

1ST: Go to the user control panel and fill in your equipment in TEXT format so it will show in your signature when you post. You will get plenty of helpful tips that way.
Relax, it will work out, as crazy as it seems at first.
Let us know what your machine settings are.. pressure, ramp, etc.

[Lew56]

Hi newbie nellie. Tell your hubby very kindly and gently to 'GET OVER IT!'. He's not sleeping with the machine, you are. Inform him that if he continues to sleep with you, he'll be waking up to a more energetic wife. It's not you that's insecure, it's your hubby. I really don't mean to sound harsh, sl33py, I just can't understand why spouses behave like that. My wife had no problem with it. As a matter of fact, she encourages me to wear the mask as soon as I get into bed (maybe it's an improvement)

[robysue]

sl33py,

First, welcome to the forum. And sincere wishes that you take to this therapy like a duck to water.

I was just diagnosed this morning after my sleep study and given a CPAP machine. My husband, who is normally very supportive, has been very skeptical about this and had said before I was diagnosed that he does not want to sleep with a machine, so I'm feeling insecure and nervous.

You're going to have to deal with hubby's attitude one way or another. First remind him that he's not the one sleeping with the machine, you are. Second remind him that it is critically important that you learn how to sleep with this machine so that you can get and stay healthy for a very long time to come. Untreated OSA is correlated with numerous serious, chronic health problems such as heart disease, much higher risk for stroke, type II diabetes, and more. Take hubby with you to the next appointment you have with the doc/PA/nurse practicioner and have him/her tell your hubby about all the reasons you need to treat the OSA now. And, of course, as a bonus, once you've learned to sleep with the mask all night, every night and once your therapy is optimized, you will probably start feeling more awake, less tired, and generally more alive than you've felt in a long, long time.

I also thought I'd get checked and that they would say that nothing was wrong with my sleeping and that I just needed to sleep more, so I am surprised with the results.

Even if you're expecting the diagnosis, it can still be a shock. Give yourself some time to digest what the diagnosis really entails. Read all you can find about OSA.

Any positive thoughts for a nervous newbie nellie? Any words of wisdom that you'd care to share?

For starters, try to relax tonight.

Next, you've been given a machine that you've probably not learned very much about. Chances are you've been given a CPAP that does not record full efficacy data. And full efficacy data is important: If you don't start feeling better (in terms of daytime functioning) within a couple of months, you'll definitely want to be able to determine if the problem is that the pressure is wrong (so the apneas are continuing to happen) or if there's a problem with leaks or if there's something else. And if the only thing your machine records is compliance data---as in how long you use the machine each night, it's much more difficult to troubleshoot.

I bring this up because the time to insist on swapping the machine is NOW and not later. Janknitz has an excellent blog about what you need to know about DMEs and what to do if they've given you a "brick"---i.e. a CPAP that doesn't record efficacy data. You can find her blog at http://maskarrayed.wordpress.com/ .

I've also written a set of tips for newly diagnosed. It's on my blog at http://adventures-in-hosehead-land.blog ... -with.html

Finally, please don't allow either yourself or your hubby to prejudge whether you can live with this therapy. The dirty little unwelcome secret about CPAP is that it does take work----hard work for many of us---to learn how to sleep with the hose on our noses. Another dirty little unwelcome secret is that it takes time to start feeling better. A few feel better almost immediately. Many start to feel better somewhere in the first month or two. A few of us have very long, protracted and difficult adjustment periods that last many months before we start to notice positive changes. And those first positive changes in how we feel can be very, very subtle. For me the first thing I really could say was a positive change happened about 6 months after I started cpap: I started to wake up with no pain in my hands and feet. I'd been waking up for several years with hand and foot pain almost every morning. The pain would dissipate as the day went on. And come back the next morning. On really bad mornings I'd describe the pain to my hubby as feeling like I'd slept with my hands and feet in tight fists all night.

So it's important to give CPAP a real, honest trial where you work hard at making it work for several months rather than just giving up at the first sign of difficulty. Because eventually when you do master the art of being a hosehead and the machine has had enough time to help you body heal the damage the OSA has done, you will indeed start to feel better.

[RomeinDNVR]

Welcome!

I just started CPAP on Friday so I know how nerve racking it can feel. I struggled with anxiety on my third night and didn't really sleep at all, however once I convinced myself that this therapy WILL make me feel better my anxiety has pretty much gone away. It is so nice to sleep through an entire night and not wake up 8 times to toss and turn until you fall asleep (if you can call it sleep).

I am single so I can't comment on how to make a partner/spouse relate to your situation, but as others have said, focus on you!

Good luck to you!

Rome

[mayondair]

Hello sl33py and welcome, you'll find lots of help and support here. A few lucky people take to CPAP right off the bat, others need a bit more time and effort. Post about any problems or questions you have. Robysue has given you good advice, take a good look at your machine, tell us what it is, and if it's not fully data capable take it back NOW. Having the right machine is very important. Having the right , comfy mask is key. Read Janknitzs excellent blog about DMEs. As for hubby, hopefully he will be supportive, I like to think about my machine as just something to help me out, like glasses, it's only air, and only when you sleep, no big deal, you may even come to really like your machine because of the way you will feel when your apnea is controlled and you are sleeping well. good luck, Kathy

[nanwilson]

Tell him you'll put a pillow between him and you............that way at least you are together. If he still won't stay in the same room, ask him what will happen if he has to get a cpap or if he has to use insulin, or is in an accident and loses a limb.
Right now its all about him, not you, turn the tables on him and he may come round. He is in shock, as are you, obviously you have accepted that you have to use the machine, he has not. Shock is the same as bereavement, 5 stages to go through to get to acceptance. Good luck to you and your hubby, hang in there and you will get what you need.

[sl33py]

You guys are amazing! Thank you for all of your support, encouragement and advice!!! I've listed my equipment now.

I tried it for the first time last night. First I woke up and it wasn't even on, so I guess I just took it off. I put it back on and I didn't sleep well. It wasn't because it was uncomfortable or noisy. I was actually surprised at how quiet and comfortable it was. I just kept waking up and feeling like it wasn't blowing air and I kept checking it to make sure. I'm sure that I'll get used to it.

My husband did come around. We talked and he said that I misunderstood what he said. I know that this is new for him as well and he, like me, has a lot to learn. He did say, it's not like it's forever, so I explained to him that it actually probably is forever because I don't think this just reverses itself.

Thank you all! I'm so glad that I reached out. You have made me feel so much better and I really appreciate all of the information you are sharing!

[lostntranslation]

It would be beneficial if you take him with you to your follow up appointments with your doctor so he can learn more about your disease. Also, he's not sleeping with the machine; you are. My husband and I sleep just fine with me on the machine. We still "snuggle" and it's not so bad to sleep with a machine. As a matter of fact, he sleeps BETTER because I no longer snore.

[chunkyfrog]

I used to snore so loudly, he couldn't get much sleep.
Now he has his own--(he was worse than I)--and I don't even notice if his exhaust hits me in the night.
A little of the fun is over: No more 'dutch ovens'
(--and I was the worst offender.)

[mayondair]

Sl33py, you have a very good machine, do you know what your settings are? Sometimes autos are set wide open, 4-20 and you can feel like you are not getting enough air at the lower pressure. You can get a clinian manual at ApneaBoard.com. You have 3 choices for soft wear, Encore Viewer$99 at CPAP.Com; Encore Pro or Sleepyhead ( search this site for either) Encore Viewer is easy to use, Encore pro is fussier, but has waveform, Sleepy head is from a member here I've not tried it but others will probably chime in. kathy

[Pugsy]

I just kept waking up and feeling like it wasn't blowing air and I kept checking it to make sure. I'm sure that I'll get used to it.

This is really quite common. Our brains simply aren't used to having this "stuff" attached to our face. With time the brain will realize that this "stuff" is actually quite good for the body and you will start sleeping longer without the wakeups. Also it is common when we first start this therapy to find that we wake up and mask has been removed and we don't remember removing it. It only is a problem if you start doing it every night. An occasion night is not unusual.
Heck, I have been on the machine for 2 1/2 years now and the other night I woke up and mask was off...don't know why but when I checked my reports there was a 30 minute gap.

Regarding the "use this forever"....well...depending on your age now we don't know what the future has waiting for us in the way of new treatment. I am 59 so my chances of seeing a drastic change aren't nearly as good as someone 29. Besides, it really isn't a horrible thing. We only wear it at night. It can be annoying but there are far worse things that can go wrong with our bodies.

Welcome to the forum.

BTW it was my husband who put his size 15 boot up my butt to get me to talk to the doctor about why I was snoring and stopping breathing. He says he sees a huge improvement in me. Your husband will come around. People can die from complications of sleep apnea and the damage done to the body or for me even worse....the stroke comes up short and leaves a person a vegetable. Once he fully understands the seriousness of this issue, he will want what is best for you no matter what the treatment is. Some people think sleep apnea is just "not sleeping well" and don't
realize that there is so much more to it.

You have a Respironics machine? You have software choices.. explained here with examples. If you want more information send me a PM. I am usually pretty good with software.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64906&st=0&sk=t&sd= ... re+options

[mayondair]

You have a Respironics machine? You have software choices.. explained here with examples. If you want more information send me a PM. I am usually pretty good with software.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64906&st=0&sk=t&sd= ... re+options. Pugsy to the rescue! My hubby really nagged me about my snoring, I wouldn't have gone for a sleep study without his insisting. He's happy I'm not waking the neighborhood with snoring. My Mom was very debilitated by strokes, and I sure dont want to end up like that, so it's all night, every night for me

[tigerlily]

I have had my autoCPAP for two nights. I, too, was wondering how hubby would react to all changes with the machine, mask, hose, morning cleaning routine. This morning he said that for the past two nights it has been silent. Simply that - silent. My machine is quiet and I don't snore. The most noise he heard was when my mask moved. It was tightened and again - silence. Today he said I look different. He best described it as my face being more relaxed and my eyes are brighter. In just tow days! Good luck!

[Pugsy]

I have the same machine as you show... the PR System One Auto cpap with AFlex. I have the clinician manual in pdf format and if you will send me a private message with your private email address I will send it to you as an attachment.
We can't do attachments here at the forum messaging system.

Or you can request one from the http://www.apneaboard.com/CPAP%20Adjustment.htm but that also involves private email because they don't have a direct download source for this particular provider manual.

My Mom was very debilitated by strokes, and I sure dont want to end up like that, so it's all night, every night for me

That is why I use the machine every night, all night long. Even if I never saw one iota of "feeling better" I would use it as preventative medicine. On my sleep study my Oxygen levels went to 73%. That alone scares the crap out of me and I can't imagine allowing my body to go through that stress again.