Please help GF almost broke up with me due to CPAP

[larry63]

Wow just as I was starting to write this, she called to say that we're still together

I guess I am one of the lucky ones who has has an understanding SO . I shudder to think of the people who
lost their spouses due this so-called treatment.

just want this insanity to end. When will it end?

I would love to be on time for a date. It used to be that way, even if I was deadly tired, before I started CPAP
therapy. I thought the point of xPAP was to actually improve the symtpoms, not make them worse.
Since I've started xPAP, I went from bad to worse. Now I'm sure that it's only a matter of time before my employer
asks me whe in the last few weeks I've been only clocking about 30 hours oper week on the clock, instead of the expected 40 to 50 hours.
And my poor cats - litterbox...


I've been doing this for two months and it's not getting any better, only worse.I seems like the treatment is cactually causing me
blackouts (my GF will say things about conversations that I absolutely do not remember having), and I fall asleep at
my desk at work, or else have I guess what are called micro-sleeps (where you think you're awake concentrating but
you hear voices in your head like "six seven is the moon" while you're trying to think. No, this is not
Schizoprhenia because the voices are the same as hypnogiic IOW I know they're not real, only they are happening during the day.

Luckilly someone sent my a PM about a better DME company. Hopefully that will help.
And also possibly I can get a referall to a sleep specialist.

Ys I understand that although CPAP is ruining my life at the moment, it will prevent me from an early death.
I would rather die early then continue living a life that I don't enjoy.

I think there's something going on with CPAP that medical science doesn't understand yet.

Will I awer that freacking Swift FX tonight? I don't know. All I know is that I'm fluckin dams tired
and
i most certaintly will not be undergoing so-called treatment. As bad as is it was before, it is
much worse now - both my job oand my SO is in jepeardy. And my memory has suddenly getting very bad.


It just gets worse and worse every day - I just need a fluckin good night's rest!




G

[Slinky]

Well, now ... blame the CPAP therapy. Hey!!!! If it isn't working and isn't helping have you gone back to your local DME provider's RRT or to your sleep doctor and told them its not working and you need HELP??? If not, why not?

Because you really don't want CPAP therapy to work? Because you don't want to be bothered w/CPAP and mask? Because you don't want to put forth any effort to help yourself or to ask for help?

You want a life? Get a life! Put forth the necessary effort to acclimate to CPAP therapy and ENJOY its many benefits - restful sleep, improved cognition, energy, etc., etc. etc.

[mars]

Hi Larry

My guess is that unless you change your attitude, and put into practice at least some of the suggestions you have had, and start reading the Forum threads, and educating yourself, then less and less members are going to be willing to try and help you.

As kindly as I can put it, you need to do less whining and more self-helpful action.

Good luck

Mars

[sleeplessinaz]

Hey--If your SO doesn't get the fact that you need this treatment and almost broke up with you over it--I say MOVE on to a real person who cares. This SO is NOT for you buddy!!! A good partner will be understanding, encouraging, and try to help any way that they can. This is a life saving machine that you will need probably the rest of your life ---so either she gets on board with this treatment--or you need to find another more caring Girlfriend.

My 2 cents--LOL!

Carrie

[Stormynights]

If your girlfriend is still hanging in there for you maybe she would be willing to get on board to help you find the answers. You are so tired and stressed you aren't thinking straight. Your doctor needs to help you first. Your girlfriend can give support and maybe help you sort through the information you can find on the forum.

[Emilia]

Hi Larry,
You have started a few threads, and they are all rants against the therapy. Many of us have offered suggestions, help, asked questions, sought feedback from you about your settings, and you have not replied to any of them......

Either give us information with which to help you or take the freely given advice and apply it. Your SO needs to be educated about the seriousness of this disorder. Have you taken the time to explain what SA is all about? How it will save your life? If she wants to be with you for the long haul, she needs to support you in this or she needs to go.

[larry63]

Well, now ... blame the CPAP therapy. Hey!!!! If it isn't working and isn't helping have you gone back to your local DME provider's RRT or to your sleep doctor and told them its not working and you need HELP??? If not, why not?

Because you really don't want CPAP therapy to work? Because you don't want to be bothered w/CPAP and mask? Because you don't want to put forth any effort to help yourself or to ask for help?


want a life? Get a life! Put forth the necessary effort to acclimate to CPAP therapy and ENJOY its many benefits - restful sleep, improved cognition, energy, etc., etc. etc.

Ok Stlink,I think you're just trolling, otherwise I I don't know why you would waste your valuable time responding to my message with an an idiotic reply. Did you even think of looking up my
prvious posts before firing off your rant?


For example, what's your evidence that "I don't want CPAP therapy to work". I think I'm putting more effort in it than the majority of CPAP patients - I've stuck with it for two months and even though it's been creating problems with my job and my relationship, you have the audacity t say that I don't want to be bothered with CPAP???? I mean, what more effort could you expect from someone?
Have I been seeking advice? Yes!!! Have you bothered to even read my previous posts?

I've been doing this for at least two freaking months!!

And yes, I you had bothered to read the forum before replying you would have seen that I had asked about getting better specialists to consult with.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you were having bad day when you wrote this insult.

Best regards, and I whish you good health.

LT

[cflame1]

Larry... Slinky's not trolling... if you'd been here long enough... some of us try the soft approach... and some go straight for the 2X4. The more complaining you do the more 2X4's you'll get.

As for trying for 2 months... some folks try for a lot longer before they get results... try a year or more (and that's just the recent one's).

[navyvet]

YOU have apnea, either you live with it or live with the therapy. Nobody can snap their fingers and get rid of apnea and the therapy is far from perfect. I doubt anyone really likes wearing this getup to sleep, but we knuckle down and do it anyway. Whining will not fix anything.

Another point. It's NOT the therapy that is ruing your life, it's YOUR apnea. Blaming the treatment is ridiculous. YOU have to decide if the treatment is better than the problem.

Now that MY rant is over I will also add that if you have a spouse/partner that really cares about you they will understand and adapt to your problems like this that you have no control over. If they do not, then they are self centered and it will come out in other ways also. Nobody said relationships, and all they bring, are easy and it requires give and take. One of them having apnea is DEFINITELY one of these areas.

Yes, this is the tuff approach, sometimes it's needed.

[BlackSpinner]

Wow just as I was starting to write this, she called to say that we're still together

I guess I am one of the lucky ones who has has an understanding SO . I shudder to think of the people who
lost their spouses due this so-called treatment.

A good craftsman doesn't blame their tools. You have apnea and you need to embrace the therapy and get some counseling to do that. I don't know why she would break up with you but if it is over your attitude to cpap I can totally understand. I would also tell you to shit or get off the pot too. If it was due to the cpap its self, get rid of her you don't need a self centred bitch like that in your life. Bad health really shows peoples real colours and concerns.

Also don't expect help if you won't reply with anything except bitching. nobody can help you if they don't know your machine, mask or settings.

[larry63]

Larry... Slinky's not trolling... if you'd been here long enough... some of us try the soft approach... and some go straight for the 2X4. The more complaining you do the more 2X4's you'll get.

As for trying for 2 months... some folks try for a lot longer before they get results... try a year or more (and that's just the recent one's).

Well maybe not a troll as such (because he or she probably had not read my previous posts), but just more of
a robot just repeating the same lines which I find quite offensive.

I know that I could try taping my mouth shut (tried it for a few days).
Didn't lower leakage rate.


Yeah, I know that I could try not using the mask for a few days (and felt maybe the same and somewhat better).

I am just tired of hearing the same refrain that eventually I will get better, especially from someone who
fires of a cookie-cutter response. I do apreciate the help, and I know now that this guy meant well,
really, ift is not very helpfull. I want to know why at the moment that my wakefullness and cognition is going to shit
after I started CPAP. Please believe me, I do read this forum and others, searching for answers.

In the mean time I am now facing very REAL issues - my job and my GF.
Granted my GF is understanding thankfully, but how long is it going to be
before she gives up

I admit to not getting a referall to a sleep specialist, to in a sense I have
no right to complain. So in that sense, you are right.

(And yes I've tried tried taping my mouth shut, with maybe about 5 or 10 lpm lower leakeage rates, for the
last few nights, but sitll feel horribilbly brain damaged).


LT

[robysue]

I would love to be on time for a date. It used to be that way, even if I was deadly tired, before I started CPAP
therapy. I thought the point of xPAP was to actually improve the symtpoms, not make them worse.
Since I've started xPAP, I went from bad to worse. Now I'm sure that it's only a matter of time before my employer
asks me whe in the last few weeks I've been only clocking about 30 hours oper week on the clock, instead of the expected 40 to 50 hours.
And my poor cats - litterbox...

I feel your pain. I really do---since I too have felt much worse since starting CPAP about 3 1/2 weeks ago.

However, last Tuesday I did have a long face-to-face appointment with my sleep doctor's physician's assistant and literally dumped all my new symptoms on her and talked at length about how much worse I was feeling on CPAP and how CPAP had triggered a serious (on-going) bout of bed-time insomnia. The PA listened really well---went through all the standard good sleep hygiene issues for the insomnia (which I'd already started doing) and she made the suggestion that my titrated pressure was possibly not optimal and suggested a weeks worth of APAP running wide open to see what my pressure might ought to be.

So the DME reset my S9 Auto from CPAP-mode at 9 cm to APAP 4-20cm. And all I can say is, wow what a difference! My 95% pressure has ranged from 6.6 to 8.4 so far and my AHI numbers have been comparable to those with straight CPAP mode. But I am feeling much more like my old self! Still more tired during the day, but not feeling like something the cat drug in all the time. And much, much less feeling of excessive daytime sleepiness. Not quite "normal" so-to-speak, but much, much closer to normal than I felt the first two and a half weeks. And no more feeling like I'm a stuffed, force-fed goose from all the air being pumped into my stomach and lungs! And, perhaps best of all, there are some real signs the bedtime insomnia is beginning to resolve itself. I've even been able to resolve a mask problem at bedtime one night without getting upset and throwing a fit.

So my advice is to try to contact the doctor's office and ask whether any of your symptoms point to an incorrect CPAP pressure. See if they'll authorize a week or two of home auto-titration to see if that helps you start feeling a bit more closer to normal.

Good luck both with the GF and with your sleep doctor's office.

[robysue]

xsquid wrote:

YOU have to decide if the treatment is better than the problem.

I'd like to politely point out that for some of us---including larry63---at the beginning of CPAP therapy, the treatment is WORSE than the problem in the sense that we were completely asymptomatic during the daytime before starting CPAP and we developed classic daytime apnea symptoms AFTER starting CPAP therapy. If you fall into this category, it is really tough in the early weeks and months to keep reminding yourself that in the (very) long run the therapy will do you good.

[larry63]

Hi Larry,
You have started a few threads, and they are all rants against the therapy. Many of us have offered suggestions, help, asked questions, sought feedback from you about your settings, and you have not replied to any of them......

Either give us information with which to help you or take the freely given advice and apply it. Your SO needs to be educated about the seriousness of this disorder. Have you taken the time to explain what SA is all about? How it will save your life? If she wants to be with you for the long haul, she needs to support you in this or she needs to go.

Hi Emila, I was not aware that I posted messages that got replies that I never answered.

I suppose it may be true that she might not recognize the seriousness of the disorder, and I just have to stress to her that I could DIE if it's not treated.

She certainly is supportive of my health, and is greatful to be able to sleep next to me and being able to sleep because I'm not snoring.

That's not the problem. The problem is that once I started therapy, my concentration, sense of humor, productivity, etc, has gone to shit.
I used to only be tired, now I'm even more tired and also now grumpy and have a tendency to fall asleep at random during the day on weekends.

I know that the solution is to find a different doctor or sleep specialist, so hopefully I can do that and it will help the side-effects of the CPAP therapy
which are devestating at the moment.

LT

[Emilia]

I didn't mean you haven't replied.... I meant you haven't given us the information we requested. Among those questions were:

• Pressure setting(s)?
  Did you get the clinician's manual that I sent you the link to?
  Did you check to see if the AHI reading is activated on your machine, and if not, did you change that via the clinician's instruction manual?
  Do you have the software and SmartStick?