Why am I having emotional lows ?

chennOR · Post by **chennOR** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:35 am

I have been on my cpap 8/8 days now and was initially excited to "have a fix" to my many problems. But it is very difficult to face the mask and noise each night. It has been getting easier to wear the mask (swift nasal pillow) each night - but I am having emotional lows during the day. I don't get any emotional support from the docs so am relying on this site for that. My sleep partner is a pretty good supporter but also confused about my emotions.

THANK you for all the good info on this site. My 2nd night on cpap I was so irritable to touch I could have screamed. 2nd or 3rd day I wasn't feeling 100% better as I somehow expected to be, so I got very disappointed. If I had not found your website and read for hours - I would have been really down. Still don't know what to expect from my body day to day - but am beginning to understand that may be normal. I want the emotional roller coaster to stop - now !

Almost in tears.

jskinner · Post by **jskinner** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:47 am

chennOR wrote:But it is very difficult to face the mask and noise each night.

Have you tried ear plugs? I use them every night.
-james

ChennOR · Post by **ChennOR** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:58 am

Not yet - with all the other paraphernalia and my chin strap not working well yet I haven't the fortitude to add another thing to the menagerie. But I expect I will.

Rabid1 · Post by **Rabid1** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:14 pm

Chenn,

To paraphrase Yogi Berra "half of CPAP therapy is 90% mental".

Acceptance is key for all of us. Then turn that acceptance into dogged determination. For most of us progress came in baby steps.

Go to bed tonight and welcome the opportunity to get one step closer to getting that perfect night's sleep.

There's always a close-knit bunch of wierdos on this board to help you out.

Good sleep to you!

Rick

Linda3032 · Post by **Linda3032** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:23 pm

This therapy can be daunting in the beginning, just keep telling yourself "I can do this".

Regarding noise, many of us a "white noise device" or fan to muffle the noise of the machine or mask. I find the even white noise soothing in lieu of the intermittent noise of the mask.

chennOR · Post by **chennOR** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:28 pm

Rick,

Thanks for the reply. I enjoyed the Yogi Berra quote. Thought I was doggedly determined - but maybe I have been expecting to run full speed instead of having to take my baby steps. Good advice. I look forward to more good inspiration and help on this site.

Perhaps the emotions are my working through the acceptance of so many things w/ regard to OSA. I was more positive when I was so utterly fatigued than I am after diagnosis. That's what has me so stumped.

Carol

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:32 pm

When I start feeling down I just start thinking about how great I really have it when compared to others much less fortunate ... like the people in Darfur, Iraq, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, New Orleans, or the homeless in your own town.

For someone that takes a hose'in every night ... I'm one lucky guy!

So just remember, things could always be worse ... making the current status alway better

I mean ... let's face it, it's better than having pancreatic cancer.

chennOR · Post by **chennOR** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:39 pm

Thanks Linda3032

All I heard from the docs was "you will feel so much better !" That translated into something so different than the reality of cpap usage and incrementally feeling better. I have been telling myself "you can do this" from the 2nd night on. Just wanted to understand and hear from others that I am not alone, I am not nuts, I am not failing somehow.

You've done that already today w/ your messages of encouragement.

What are some other things you've told yourself to keep on going?

Thanks again.

Talk to you all later.

Carol

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:01 pm

ChennOR,

You are not alone. I'm sure many of these machines would have been thrown against the wall and the masks stomped on if they weren't such a financial investment. Adding equipment frustrations to disappointment to already depleted emotional resources would make anyone's nerves be on edge.

My initial thought is that time is what you need, and if that's not the solution, a different mask. However, a recent encounter cautions me to not say that so casually. I took a friend for a follow-up visit with her sleep doc, and she wanted to take her machine in because she felt it "wasn't working right". When I asked why she thought that, her list included that she has been mouth breathing, that it sometimes feels like there's not enough air coming out, the sound of it bothers her, she's not feeling any better, and she can't keep it on all night. Now, everything she said was common to new cpap users and wouldn't initially point toward machine trouble. But since they needed to check her compliance anyhow, I just figured she would feel better if it had been checked out. Lo and behold they told her she needed another machine because hers was malfunctioning. Now, I can't say for sure what happened to hers, but when I asked her if there was any chance she let some water get in the machine, she said "I don't know. Why?" She had no recollection of being cautioned about that.

I say all that to say that sometimes there are machine problems making them extra noisy. Sometimes there are mask, ramp, pressure, or settings problems. It may not be all you, though the chances are this is the usual adjustment phase. Hopefully you have a followup appointment scheduled for your doc to see if you need any assistance in making this work better for you.

Best wishes.

Kathy

Julie · Post by **Julie** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:48 pm

Hi, for what it's worth, I also tried the Mirage for a while, and apart from the noise (which is worse than any other mask I've used) I found the mask just didn't work for me, so your problem may be that you do need to try others. Whether your DME will let you do so, preferably lying down, is for you to find out, but one way or the other you should get more choice. Write me if you'd like for more info. (I can't write you as you're not yet a member).

sharon1965 · Post by **sharon1965** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:23 pm

hi there
i'm still quite new to cpap (8 weeks), and i'm on my 5th interface(comfortlite 2)...i've had pressure sores, humidity problems, leaking, discomfort etc, and luckily every time i get a new interface, my RT says, 'bring it back if you don't like it and we'll try something else, just give it a week or two and let me know"...i don't have problems with noise, maybe my machine is just particularly quiet...that's the technical side...but emotionally, i, too, was disappointed when i went for my 6 week check up and felt like i had realized no real results...my doc said it can take 6 mos to a year for some people to experience the full benefit of cpap...i guess i was so excited to hear 'you'll be like a new woman' so many times from so many people, but thanks to the kind people on this forum, i now know it can vary widely from person to person...and it turns out i have periodic limb movement disorder, which can contribute greatly to extreme tiredness, so now we're starting to work on treating that...i do have to say, though, that when i got thinking about it i realized that my trips to the bathroom at night have gone from 3+ down to one, my sciatica and leg pain are improving, i haven't had heartburn once since starting cpap and i no longer have to nap after work..i think what someone said earlier is very true, it can be very gradual, one issue at a time and suddenly one day we'll discover that we feel really good for the first time in years...when i was diagnosed after years of being patronized and condescended to by my family doctors, i felt hopeful for the first time in a decade...focusing on what is going right with this therapy ~and participating in this forum~ is what's keeping me from giving up...i wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to hang in there till the good stuff starts happening

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:12 pm

the Swift is the most noisy interface you could have selected, only thing probably more noisy is the Nasalaire.

If noise is the issue, then get the Soyala nasal mask, it is completely silent by comparison and more comfortable in my opinion (I can't stand those nasal thingees in my nares).

https://www.cpap.com/productpage/Soyala ... dgear.html

chennOR · Post by **chennOR** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:59 pm

Thanks for all the information, encouragement and friendship. I'm learning a lot from you folks.

Didn't know my nasal pillow was one of the noisiest masks around - darn !
My only other exposure to a different mask was a nasal mask during titration study and it leaked so bad and my jaw dropped open so I was trussed up tighter than a ? ? ? I didn't like that !

I know what you mean about wanting to throw the machine against the wall. Been there already (but didn't throw it) - but getting more used to it each night.

Pleased and surprised to find that I can break into a jog if I need to hurry. That hasn't happened in quite some time.

I do go in for my first return visit 9 weeks from first use - doc had her 1st baby so appts are backed up. I would prefer getting some feedback much sooner than that - but not sure I can do that without changing docs and at this point I don't have the energy to face that. I will continue to adjust, adapt and make attitude adjustments until that visit.

Got the strong impression from my sleep study tech to try to make a nasal mask work before giving up and getting a full face mask. Even if I have to tape by jaw to the ceiling to keep it shut. Yes ? ? ?

So far the sullivan chin strap isn't much help so I'm looking on line for a more substantial chin strap. Any happy customers out there want to tell me their favorites?

Thanks again for all the good help.

hades161 · Post by **hades161** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:17 pm

I can fully relate to your emotions and difficulties. I have hit about the 3 or 4 month mark and think I am starting to see real daylight. It takes time though and the baby step thing is true, I feel. The best advice I can give is try to focus on making 1 thing better each night. If your leaking look for a solution here. Most masks have been tried and reported on here and everyone uses what best fits their needs. If its a comfort thing by all means try as many masks as you can. Put it on an hour or 2 before bed time just to play with it and see how you can make it more comfortable and not leak. Just by wearing it and breathing with it on normally, can help you adjust to it during sleep. No one mask is perfect, but you can step by tiny step find what works for you. If you think the machine you have is not right or is making to much noise by all means have it looked at and try a different one if you can.

Your not alone in this, we all have faced and continue to face the problems of xpap treatment. OSA is so misunderstood out in the world and its effects on a person's life and emotional states. This board is the place to find the answers you need to succeed as well as the support and understanding that are hard to find out in the world sometimes. Stick to it, and like a roller coaster ride there is always a place and time you can get off you just have to give the car some time to get there.

Linda3032 · Post by **Linda3032** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:18 pm

Here is a link to a chin strap that is heavy duty enough to work - for some people:

https://www.cpap.com/productpage/deluxe ... hleak.html

Why am I having emotional lows ?

Why am I having emotional lows ?

Re: Why am I having emotional lows ?

Ear Plugs

Good sleep

I can do this

Initial frustration and machine noise

Noise