Getting doubt and coments from family and freinds ...

[Let me sleep]

Has this happened to anyone else ?
During these past several months while getting diagnosed
with sleep apnea. I have been getting comments,looks and
doubts from my co-worker,family and even my stylist.
My step mother made a coment that when my stress went
away so would my sleep apnea. I was talking to my hair stylist
about how my grandmother must have had apnea that's how I got
it. She then asked how old was she when she past away. I told
her she lived to be 96 yrs old. So she said " Just shows you it doesn't
hurt you ". Then my co-worker well let's just say eye rolling
and talking. Almost like I'm making it up. I have been told every one snores it's
just what people do. Is it me or am I around a bunch of $&@;/

[DoriC]

I'm very selective about who I discuss OSA with. I know some folks who are still convinced that a cpap machine is like a ventilator and you're not breathing on your own!

[hyperlexis]

Has this happened to anyone else ?
During these past several months while getting diagnosed
with sleep apnea. I have been getting comments,looks and
doubts from my co-worker,family and even my stylist.
My step mother made a coment that when my stress went
away so would my sleep apnea. I was talking to my hair stylist
about how my grandmother must have had apnea that's how I got
it. She then asked how old was she when she past away. I told
her she lived to be 96 yrs old. So she said " Just shows you it doesn't
hurt you ". Then my co-worker well let's just say eye rolling
and talking. Almost like I'm making it up. I have been told every one snores it's
just what people do. Is it me or am I around a bunch of $&@;/

Why do they know or even ask? You do know you are supposed to take the mask off during the day, right?

I wouldn't discuss my medical problems with other people anyway, or, at least, not much. Far more interesting, more pleasant things to engage in conversation over anyway.

Don't pay them any heed. But then again, don't foist it on people anyway, unless you can take the response.

[Let me sleep]

I shared it with my step-mother because I needed
help buying the machine. I finally shared it
at work because I had missed a lot of days
and I have a new work schedule to accommodate
my bad mornings. I felt if I was open about it it would
stop all the speculation of what was wrong. As for my
Hair dresser well I should have just kept my
mouth shut. I was hoping to find some one
who knew what was in store for me. So in the
future I will be much more selective who or if
I tell anyone. And come to this board for info...

[Goofproof]

Sounds like someone is passing your personal info to people you think are your friends, they are not friends. You need to plug future leak

Your business is your business, others need to not be in it, especially if their knowing is harmful to your wellness. Jim

[jaybeem]

I have shared with a lot of people. I had been such a b**** for a few months before I started CPAP, that I was apologizing for having been so hard to deal with. When I got ignorant back-talk, I explained that in my sleep study I had stopped breathing once a minute ALL NIGHT LONG, and that since I had started CPAP that was happening almost ZERO times a night. That usually shut them up.

But it was amazing how many people, whom I thought I knew pretty well, were also on CPAP.

[Stormynights]

I am a newly retired hairstylist and a coworker told me that I must be a hypochondriac. She is on cpap now.

[zoocrewphoto]

I told all my coworkers. They were really pleased to see that I felt better. I told my good friends since I share hotel rooms with them. They are thrilled.

I have also told people at cat shows, customers at work, etc, *IF* there is a reason for the topic to come up. It could be that they asking about my improvement in health, or they mentioned it about themselves, and I said me too, and we go from there. A few people, I suspect they have sleep apnea, so I asked a few questions and told them about my great experience. If they are interested, I keep going. If not, that's their decision. I avoided treating mine for 10 years or more. I regret, but I understand that many people just aren't ready to take that step yet. I have mentioned it, and they know they can ask me more if they are ready to get serious.

I have never had a bad reaction from anybody. Most are really unaware of what sleep apnea is, and they seem quite surprised to learn that people actually stop breathing so often, and so long, and once they understand that, they can understand why somebody would be so tired.


That all said, most people who know me, know that I am a severe night owl. I normally go to bed between 4 and 6 am, and I get up at 1pm to go to work. This concept is so alien to most people that sleep apnea seems quite normal in comparison.

[kteague]

Not everyone is knowledgeable about this. Had I not been diagnosed, I wouldn't know much either, and probably would have made some half-baked assumptions. Sometimes the assumptions of others are hurtful - still hear them and I've been at this 7 years. Just yesterday when a fairly new friend called and wanted me to go do something with her, I declined because I was dragging and sleepy. She commented in an accusatory tone, "So-and-so has what you have and they feel just fine." She just totally discounted my other health issues, and the individuality of this diagnosis. She just doesn't know yet how much she crossed a line with me, but when I see her in person, we will have that conversation.

For the most part, I agree about selective sharing. If it is someone life requires you to interact closely with, it may help to have some general answers prepared so you're not caught off guard, hurt and stammering. Here's one I like.. "I see you're not very informed about this topic. Would you like for me to print out some articles (or send you some links) so you can learn more?" If they say yes, there's hope for them gaining a better understanding. If they say no, well, at least you know how they are. Or, "Wow, you really don't know much about this, do you?" I know that's kinda smart a##, but if they are bold enough to spout off their ignorance, oh well. Or if it's not worth it to you, smile and keep stepping.

[kaiasgram]

I am a newly retired hairstylist and a coworker told me that I must be a hypochondriac. She is on cpap now.

Love it Stormy!

I too have family and friends who don't understand the seriousness of sleep apnea or the challenges one can have with PAP therapy. The term hypochondriac is not unfamiliar to me -- you are not alone.

[malkie0831]

Has this happened to anyone else ?
My step mother made a coment that when my stress went
away so would my sleep apnea. I was talking to my hair stylist
about how my grandmother must have had apnea that's how I got
it. She then asked how old was she when she past away. I told
her she lived to be 96 yrs old. So she said " Just shows you it doesn't
hurt you ". Then my co-worker well let's just say eye rolling
and talking. Almost like I'm making it up. I have been told every one snores it's
just what people do. /

I'm very new to all this, being in only my second month of treatment, but maybe your stress is preventing you from being positive about the comments you have received?

Maybe your step-mother just wanted to give you hope that being on CPAP was not necessarily for life?

Maybe your stylist just wanted to give you hope that Apnea may not shorten your life expectancy?

May be your co-worker was just thinking "Well that explains a lot"! Possibly they did not appreciate how serious a condition 'snoring' can be, or how big a deal it is to be on CPAP, possibly for the rest of your life.

As my Mother in Law always said, "if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything." Unfortunately "not saying anything" can lead to an embarrassed silence, so many people will say something without thinking too long about what they are saying. Be positive and always look for the 'good' in people, sometimes it takes a while to see the 'wood for the trees!'

[-tim]

My father thinks his father died from sleep apnea related problems. My ex's father died in a car wreck because he was sleeping while driving. This does kill.

[JohnBFisher]

As Tim notes, it really does kill. But if you get a nay sayer again, then you might want to turn it into a teaching moment. Ask "I've heard Diabetes can kill people. I wonder how they know this?" Get them to admit it's due to the disproportionate number of deaths for people with diabetes. Repeat but use "smoking" ... Repeat and use "high blood pressure". Then do your last repeat with "obstructive sleep apnea". The fact is researchers know that OSA is deadly because of the deaths. OSA places a strain on the cardio vascular system. That causes heart attacks and strokes. It tends to lead to high blood pressure and diabetes. It tends to cause weight gain. It's definitely bad to leave it untreated.

[Loreena]

Just yesterday when a fairly new friend called and wanted me to go do something with her, I declined because I was dragging and sleepy. She commented in an accusatory tone, "So-and-so has what you have and they feel just fine."

Here's my favorite: Sometimes I don't have a great night and my friend will say: "Can't you just repeat what you did the other night? Haven't you got the pattern down by now?"

[idamtnboy]

I wouldn't discuss my medical problems with other people anyway, or, at least, not much. Far more interesting, more pleasant things to engage in conversation over anyway.

A couple of years ago one of guys in my church died and in his obituary was this comment, "Jerry really enjoyed getting together with the men at Tuesday and Thursday morning coffee where the favorite topic of conversation was who had the next doctor's appointment!"