Exercises can cure Obstructive Sleep Apnea.

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:46 pm

Rich's website wrote:I was prescribed a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine, (CPAP machine), a medieval-looking, computerized air compressor...

Anyone got a trip planned to the medieval museum this summer? Keep an eye peeled for those medieval-period CPAP machines.

Bet you'll have to look hard too! They're probably buried amidst a vast clutter of computerized medieval biomed equipment. The whole pile's probably sitting right between the iron hoses and iron maidens---just left of the kidney transplant catapults ...but short of the standard-fare battering rams used for medieval constipation.

WearyOne · Post by **WearyOne** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:50 pm

danmc wrote:
WearyOne wrote:
How do koalas fair with cats?

Or should I go for a kangaroo, who might just let the cat sleep in the pouch?!? What do you think?

Have to know that before placing my order.

Pam
Only for special discerning customers such as yourself only, we offer our special lucky customer pedigree black koala. This special breed of koala is very friendly with cats, in fact we recommend double neutering your cats to prevent tribble syndrome when choosing the black koala for special lucky customers.

Picture of special black koala for special lucky customers.
http://tinyurl.com/blackkoalaspecial

Oh, so cute! And I'm touched that I am in the "discerning customer" CATegory. But, I must wait until "Queen Cat" arises from her nap to see what she thinks of the special black koala. As part of her staff, it has been my duty to find her a special friend. I do appreciate your caution regarding avoiding the tribble syndrome. As much as I like ONE tribble, more than one could be very annoying!

crossfit · Post by **crossfit** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:52 pm

If I send in enough $20 installments, can I get the secret of secret secrets to playing a cpap hose like a true Australian bull roarer? I promise not to tell anyone what I learn. I don't need koalas though. How about some Chinese Panda's? I have a stand of bamboo all ready for them.

crossfit · Post by **crossfit** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:03 pm

Rich's website wrote:
I was prescribed a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine, (CPAP machine), a medieval-looking, computerized air compressor...

Anyone got a trip planned to the medieval museum this summer? Keep an eye peeled for those medieval-period CPAP machines.

I had actually noticed this too. Being a student of medievel martial arts (sword etc from Europe, Middle East, and Orient), I have to wonder what is so medievel looking about a box. Maybe he thought it looked like some sort of bread box? OH I KNOW - a dumb waiter - the box with the cable attached for lowering and raising? Is that medievel?

new-to-BiPAP · Post by **new-to-BiPAP** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:03 pm

-SWS wrote:Who thinks exercises can't cure apnea?

Let's not forget nightly calisthenics: jumping jacks from 10PM until 6AM and you won't experience a single sleep-disordered-breathing event.

Ha haa!!! Why didn't I think of it? Hope you won't patent it...I might try it some night when I have insomnia.

Perchancetodream · Post by **Perchancetodream** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:14 pm

Gosh, I've missed this site!

You people are delightfully insane, and since we know it is not from the $19.95 exercise program, it must be the pressure.

micky0604 · Post by **micky0604** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:36 pm

As a gesture of good will, that approach is something you might want to consider. I'm sure you'd have no problem finding candidates, and would be given a fair shake, in spite of your site's lacking of anything persuasive.
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Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:05 pm

[quote="birdshell I believe the key to controlling the tribble population is to own just one. That, and do not organize any play dates for the sweet little things.

Karen,
Who hopes everyone lives long and prospers.

[/color][/size][/quote]

I don't believe that works either, Dr. McCoy, says they are born pregnant.

The needs of the one outweight the needs of the many, at my house! Jim

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:41 pm

Goofproof wrote:Dr. McCoy, says they are born pregnant.

Now that right there is the trouble with tribbles. Our high commander won't even allow them on our spaceships.

They're like Lays potato chips: you can never have just one.

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:35 pm

Goofproof wrote: Dr. McCoy, says they are born pregnant.

The needs of the one outweight the needs of the many, at my house! Jim

"Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, NOT a veterinarian!"

I cannot believe I forgot that.

Now you know why I have shied away from the Star Trek Cons.

Karen,
Who hopes the Federation will be real

danmc · Post by **danmc** » Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:24 am

crossfit wrote:If I send in enough $20 installments, can I get the secret of secret secrets to playing a cpap hose like a true Australian bull roarer? I promise not to tell anyone what I learn. I don't need koalas though. How about some Chinese Panda's? I have a stand of bamboo all ready for them.

_________________

Bullroarring has been outlawed in Australia ever since the Falls Creek artificial inseminators ball incident.

You can however send enough installments to receive the secret of secret secrets for secretly bypassing the bullroaring legislation using string and very small koalas.

(safety goggles not included)

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:46 am

As a side note, this "secrets-of-all-secrets" thread is the closest that some of us have come to bona fide membership in a secret society.

My hats off and secret thanks to all of you!

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Sat Aug 02, 2008 8:17 am

danmc wrote:
You can however send enough installments to receive the secret of secret secrets for secretly bypassing the bullroaring legislation using string and very small koalas.

(safety goggles not included)

Are you saying that those wriggly microscopic entities from Aussie bulls are REALLY nano-koalas?

(With those teeny-tiny razor sharp claws, no wonder bulls are so mean.)

danmc · Post by **danmc** » Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:15 pm

birdshell wrote: Are you saying that those wriggly microscopic entities from Aussie bulls are REALLY nano-koalas?

(With those teeny-tiny razor sharp claws, no wonder bulls are so mean.)

Bulls in Koala country aren't mean they are conflicted. I am afraid that I can't tell you more here as the information I have gathered over my many years as a top ranking Ninja in the US air force is just too groundbreaking and has certain military applications.

However, for a small fee of 20 dollars I can send you our new seven special secrets of artificial cattle insemination absolutely free and I will include, absolutely free, a copy of our revolutionary book - "sexing artificial koalas for fun and profit for the cattle industry", for an extra 20 dollars.

But wait, theres more! Absolutely free for a small fee of 20 dollars, we will include a handsome, spiral bound copy of " Seven Secret Hand Grips and useful Gestures for Artificial Cattle Insemination. This is part of our ancient knowledge series and contains authentic copies of diagrams and illustrations of real artificial bulls, real artificial koalas and real artificial hands.

(Superglue, tongs and electric drill not included)

Order now before they sell out!

ShirleyDriscoll · Post by **ShirleyDriscoll** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:22 am

You really shouldn't be surprised at the kinds of responses you got here. After all, your own doctor didn't take you seriously, and you ask us to give you $20 without any evidence. What did you expect, that we'd knock each other over in a race to pay you $20 to email us some PDF files?

More importantly, you shouldn't put down this group, many of whom have given invaluable help to total strangers with no expectation of anything in return.