For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Gerald · Post by **Gerald** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:40 pm

SleepyNoMore.....

My honey has never had a sleep study. Rather than tell her that I thought she needed to be on CPAP, I purchased an Oximeter so that she could decide on her own.

Being extremely bright....plus intellectually honest......she made the right decision and started using my spare machine. She can tell a big difference in the way she feels.....and is very happy with the path she has chosen.

After having read the article on "Self-Titration" (I think Rested Gal found it....she sees everything!), my honey decided a sleep test would be a waste of time and money. Because neither of us are "dummies"......and because we're using good software....plus the scientific method (common sense + experimentation + honesty).....we don't think we need someone to tell us what to do. If we decide we need advice, we'll pay for it.

Her GP has suggested that she see an ENT to check for problems in her nasal passage....and we will do that shortly. My honey keeps a notebook with her daily software reports notated with her pressure settings. These settings have changed very slowly....0.5 cm at a time....so that she can carefully track her progress.

I spent about $500 on the Oximeter......and her GP was very surprised at the data she had collected. After the ENT has seen her, the GP will give her a script if she wants it......word for word the way she wants it written. The doctors work for us....we are their customers....and it's not smart to irritate good customers.

We felt it made good sense to invest in a good tool (the Oximeter) instead of blowing it on a sleep study done by micro-thinkers....... in a last place town...in a last place state. We live in Louisiana....so, I don't need to say more.

Just as mine did, your honey has to be completely convinced that his life will be shortened if he doesn't sleep with CPAP. It's a big hassle......and if his sub-conscious doesn't agree with the program (I suspect the sub-conscious is "in charge" while we're asleep), he'll pull the mask off in the middle of the night....and come up with 1,257 reasons why he doesn't want to continue.

Good tools and software will give your honey the answer. What you have learned from all the wonderful people on this forum will help him get a massive head-start (compared with the average "patient").

Tell him I suggested that he simply "Git-'er-done".....

He'll know what to do.

Gerald

tater pie · Post by **tater pie** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:19 am

We've been married 33 years and I've slept in a separate bedroom for the last 6 years. It's been a much better situation for us. My hubby is 65 and I'm 56. I had undiagnosed apnea for about 25 years and snored as loud as a frieght train and got very little sleep. My husband doesn't believe there is any such thing as sleep apnea. He believes I just snore loud and could quit if I really wanted to. Needless to say, I tried for years and it didn't work. I finally had a sleep study done and went on cpap 3 years ago. I'm in much better shape now. He snores some (of course he denies it but he does) but not anything like I used to snore. I tried sleeping with him after cpap and I don't snore anymore but he starts snoring and punches me in the middle of the back and tells me that it's me snoring and to stop! Needless to say, I moved right back out and intend to stay out. Overall, he's a pretty good guy but he can be a real jerk sometimes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:24 am

No marriage is perfect. But I think punching me in the back would definitely motivate me to move to another bedroom!

My late husband was 6'4". He took up an entire double bed diagonally. When I moved in, there was very little room for me. I curled up in the upper corner. But routinely, I'd feel those size 12's on my butt, rabbit kicking me out of bed!

I moved upstairs to the spare bedroom. He whined. We finally compromised with two twin beds lashed together. They weren't even the same height (hey, they were free), so we padded his bed with several folded blankets to bring it up to my height.

The day we were given a Cal King Bed was HEAVEN !!!!! (We really scored in his parents' divorce)

Anyway, my experience today is that I want my queen bed all to myself. Unless the room can accommodate two queen beds, I'm demanding separate bedrooms. I don't care who it is! Even Jamie Fraser! (A nod to the "Outlandish" amongst us)

LOL,
Babs

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:29 am

Anonymous wrote:No marriage is perfect. But I think punching me in the back would definitely motivate me to move to another bedroom!

My late husband was 6'4". He took up an entire double bed diagonally. When I moved in, there was very little room for me. I curled up in the upper corner. But routinely, I'd feel those size 12's on my butt, rabbit kicking me out of bed!

I moved upstairs to the spare bedroom. He whined. We finally compromised with two twin beds lashed together. They weren't even the same height (hey, they were free), so we padded his bed with several folded blankets to bring it up to my height.

The day we were given a Cal King Bed was HEAVEN !!!!! (We really scored in his parents' divorce)

Anyway, my experience today is that I want my queen bed all to myself. Unless the room can accommodate two queen beds, I'm demanding separate bedrooms. I don't care who it is! Even Jamie Fraser! (A nod to the "Outlandish" amongst us)

LOL,
Babs

So no room for Val Kilmer anymore?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:52 am

I think it's really mean of you to tease me about Val Kilmer and not deliver.

BTW, I've been meaning to ask....

WHO LET YOU COME BACK? DO YOU HAVE A PASS?

LOL,
Babs

Country4ever · Post by **Country4ever** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:09 am

My husband offered to move out of the bedroom into our daughter's room after she was in college. It was WONDERFUL!! I'm am such a light sleeper, and besides having sleep apnea, I have alpha wave intrusion and wake up often.........so with his noise going to bed/getting up in the morning/his beeper low battery going off/his cell phone getting wrong numbers/the dog and cat making noise, I wasn't getting ANY sleep. So he moved into her old room and took the dog and cat with him.
Besides my sleeping better, I have to say its really nice for both of us to have our own spaces.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:12 am

SEE????????????? That's my idea of heaven right there. You go girl!
B.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:11 pm

I love Val Kilmer -- the only good Batman movie there is out there is the one with him playing Batman!!!!

He has my vote!!

I have heard reports he paints his toenails to become acquainted with his feminine side -- He can always were socks then no problem

If Babs doesn't have dibs on him I'll take him!!!

stitcher72062 · Post by **stitcher72062** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:01 pm

Sorry i am not over 50 ,but close ,for many years i got up and went to the couch when my husband came to bed because of my snoring only a few times woke up in the same bed. In fact he was against it at first but Lack of sleep for both of us, we really had no other choice.Then our son moved out and i took over his room , finally went for a sleep study and got on cpap tried to sleep in the same room but the nosie from the blowing air bothered him so back to separate rooms plus he is gone 4 - 5 nights a week anyway so he really has no chance to get used to it.when he is home we may start off in the same room but when it is time to sleep we go to our separate room. works for some not for everyone,

RipVW · Post by **RipVW** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:25 pm

Same bed and room (so far!) for 25 years. Her snoring and my CPAP just drown each other out ;<)

snoregirl · Post by **snoregirl** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 10:05 pm

I have to add my two cents here.

My husband (soon to be ex now) moved out of the bedroom, at first in the middle of the night then all together because of my snoring.

That was pretty much the beginning of the end from what I can tell now. He believed that I wouldn't get help, but I didn't know I had a problem.

Blames me in my sleep deprived state for being selfish and not seeking help for something I didn't know was my problem. I did in fact seek help. Was tested over the years for Anemia, thyroid, lyme etc. No one ever suggested apnea or snoring as a cause for my tiredness. I had numerous doctor visits for tiredness. In fact, he didn't connect the two either, yet it was my fault that he was losing sleep.

He was always a light sleeper and took forever to go to sleep at night. Windows open with birds in the morning were intolerable. Had to have dark shades or the light would wake him. Can anyone see why I didn't think I had a problem, that he just found yet another small thing to blame his light sleeping on? I had always snored, yet it never bothered him before....Probably got worse but how would I know?

Well, he moved out and felt neglected and wallowed in it not communicating to me, then checked out of the 25 year marriage.

Do I think you should push your parents to go with separate bedrooms? I think I would let them make their own decision. May be a no win situation either way.

momadams · Post by **momadams** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:22 am

Sweetums doesn't snore, but he does like the wrinkles out of his sheets after he gets into bed - which means that if I go to sleep first, I get wakened by bed juggles.

We got a new bed recently, and decided on 2 long twins pushed together to mitigate the jiggles and in case one of us wants a different mattress at some point. It's like a king, which means one of us has to go for a hike and pack a lunch if we want cuddle time, and it still jiggles when he "unwrinkles", but with CPAP, I'm sleeping and don't care.
Plenty of time for cuddles other times.

Shari

zoeybd · Post by **zoeybd** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:12 pm

My husband and I do sleep together after 42 1/2yrs of marriage and 3yrs or so of sleep apnea. He calls me "Darth Vadar." I can't seem to recall what I call him or maybe I do and thats the problem. Hee - hee.
If we didn't sleep together who would tell me its just a dream Honey, or your dreaming, or its okay.
My Dear Sweet Momma, has been gone for 16yrs and we both, my husband and I think she definitely had severe sleep apnea. She was not being treated for it. My Mother did not like going to Drs & probably paid for it with her life.
She was 67yrs when she died. MUCH too soon.
Have a sense of humor and keep going. Do not give up.
Zoeybd

racefan · Post by **racefan** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:28 pm

My wife & I sleep together.Sometimes my mask venting will blow in her face,all she does is put her hand up so the air blows back at me & I turn over so I'm not facing her any more.She says a little venting beats the heck out of snoring any day.

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:01 am

I seen this one today:

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood
ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f@#$%g red mark on his
forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Dumb spleen..

Machine	Mask

Additional Comments: Resmed HumidAir 11 for humidifier

Humidifier

Additional Comments: Pressure 16 cm H2O at altitude 6550ft

For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

over 50 marrieds - do you sleep separate