For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Dgrendahl · Post by **Dgrendahl** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:36 pm

[quote="Babette Who Can't Login"]Just curious - How do some of you older CPAPers who are married handle separate sleeping arrangements? I'm on this kick to get my parents to sleep separately, because I'm tired of their fighting about who wakes up who. Getting Dad on CPAP is meeting VERY HIGH resistance - if you knew all of his medical history, you'd understand why ONE MORE THING is putting them over the edge - and I can't seem to talk Mom into taking Benadryl or Melatonin herself.

So, I'm thinking of encouraging to move to separte bedrooms.

So, tell me, you who have opted to separate the beds, how is your life? Do you find yourselves fighting less about the poor sleep? Do you find yourselves fighting less period because you're both getting good sleep? Do you find yourselves maybe MORE inclined toward romance, now that you're well-rested (My suspicion)?

Many thanks!
Babette/Barbara

track · Post by **track** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:46 pm

We were in seperate bedrooms because of my snoring until a year ago when I went on CPAP. When I received the machine I moved into the master bedroom and have been there ever since.
I was pretty sure I had sleep apnea as I had the signs. I bought a machine and mask without going to a sleep lab. The machine confirmed my suspicions and I essentially self titrated. I have been on it for almost a year.

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:11 pm

we first tried separate houses, it worked so well the judge made it permanent

JeffH · Post by **JeffH** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:51 pm

Snoredog wrote:we first tried separate houses, it worked so well the judge made it permanent

That worked for me a couple of times...LOL.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:23 pm

Yeah, seperate houses is working for me most of the time. BF hasn't gotten "any" since before last Thanksgiving, though, not sure if HE will agree with me... Possibly his being "too busy" to go the movies last time I called might be a clue to me...

I really love the idea of seperate bedrooms for both my parents AND for any future SO in my life. Now the argument will be, who gives up the fancy tempurpedic bed and moves into the "closet" next door with the tiny hard futon?

As I was typing this, I was talking about my parents, and suddenly realized it was the same situation in my house too....

LOL,
Babs

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:06 pm

sleepycarol wrote:MYOB means to mind your own business.

I don't always agree to that philosophy and am more like you Babs I think (I tend to find it hard to mind my own business when others health is concerned).

Too bad he's not up for CPAP, it could save his job and health. Do it yourself would be the way to go. You don't need a medical trail.

He won't be a stuborn if his heart fails or he has a wreck, but by then it maybe too late. It wasn't stuborn that got me, it just slipped through the cracks. I hope you can convert him, it doesn't sound likely. Jim

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bdp522 · Post by **bdp522** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 6:46 pm

I'm 52, he's 57, married 27 years. One room, one bed. I can sleep through anything and he no longer hears my snoring. He likes to watch tv in bed, so he does. I go to bed later, so the tv is already off. He gets up earlier most days, and turns on lights, TV, etc. I sleep right through it all.

Brenda

MartiniLover · Post by **MartiniLover** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:00 pm

SleepyNoMore · Post by **SleepyNoMore** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:19 pm

Babette, We still sleep togother in the same bed, I have snored the ROOF OFF for the 29 years we have been married and my husband got used to it and literally couldn't sleep unless I was in there snoring up a storm . However, the past 4 to 4 1/2 months i've been on cpap, he has slowly become adjusted to me NOT snoring as much. Now, since my septoplasty on Nov. 20, 07 I have been BACK to snoring the roof off and it is hard for him to get back adjusted to . So here wqe will go again, in 3 weeks from now when I get BACK on my cpap, I won't be snoring the roof off, geez he's going to be totally and not know whick way to turn, poor baby, he's so sweet to put up with me And I might add, he will not let me sleep in the other room or the sofa, even if we're napping on the weekends, he says he will sleep just fine and that my snoring dosen't bother him but he always gets up after about 1 hour, if i'm on cpap for a nap, he'll sleep 2 hours! I say, just let em fuss, they will be ok

Gerald · Post by **Gerald** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:27 pm

I've been a hose-head for over a year......and I recently purchased an Oximeter that would allow my honey to check her O2 levels at night.

After collecting data for a month, she decided that using my spare machine would be the right thing to do.

Now there are (2) hose-heads in the same bed.....hoses running everywhere.....experiments every night......she hands me her card every morning....and we look at the reports (mine and her's) together.....as we get ready for work.

We both feel great!

We wouldn't have it any other way!

Gerald

SleepyNoMore · Post by **SleepyNoMore** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:40 pm

Gerald wrote:I've been a hose-head for over a year......and I recently purchased an Oximeter that would allow my honey to check her O2 levels at night.

After collecting data for a month, she decided that using my spare machine would be the right thing to do.

Now there are (2) hose-heads in the same bed.....hoses running everywhere.....experiments every night......she hands me her card every morning....and we look at the reports (mine and her's) together.....as we get ready for work.

We both feel great!

We wouldn't have it any other way!

Gerald

_________________
Hi Gerald, has your honey ever had a sleep study? I am curious because I hooked my husband up to my cpap as I am recovering from septum surgery and it showed that he had a few apnea events, he is supposed to go in the end of Jan.,08 for a sleep study but I wonder if we should put the $$$ out or just hook him up to an AUTO and save mega bucks???!@#&%&!! Ummmm, I don't know, someone step in with NICE COMMENTS< PLEASE!~
CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): hose

GeneS · Post by **GeneS** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:55 pm

Married 44 years. Day after Kennedy was assassinated. Sleep together in Craftmatic adjustable bed which is two adjoining twins and one headboard. It makes a king. They adjust separately. I am using a Respronics tank style machine which is quiet. Since I started taping my mouth I do not snore. I watch the news in bed and sometimes my wife watches tv later. I tend to pull the covers away from her but that doesn't seem to keep her awake normally. Once in a while she goes to a spare bedroom or the couch if things are not working. Things are working pretty well right now.
GeneS

WearyOne · Post by **WearyOne** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:00 pm

Well, I'm almost 50 and my husband is 54, so maybe that counts! We've been sleeping separately for about 10 years because of HIS snoring, and tossing and turning, and almost shoving me out of bed---plus, I sleep so much better alone! (It's weird since I'm the wife, I guess, but I can't stand to cuddle and sleep---I have to have my space. )

He snores so badly that earplugs and a sound conditioner didn't block it out. I can even hear him snoring from the room he does sleep in, with both doors closed, and the cpap on. (No, can't get him to get insurance so he can get a sleep study done.)

Bookbear · Post by **Bookbear** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:27 pm

Babette, my wife and I slept apart in separate bedrooms for almost five years until I got a cpap. We now sleep in the same bed (Sleep Number dual control).

She is a light sleeper, and was deeply bothered by my snoring. I got tired of being poked, jabbed, and kicked and told to "Roll over". Eventually of course, rolling over didn't do any good. In the end, it was me who insisted on the separate rooms. I missed the intimacy, but we made up for that in other ways. The major alteration we had to make was 'scheduling' sex, it couldn't just happen spontaneously any more, at least at night.

When we traveled, we had either two hotel rooms, or a suite, with a second fold out bed in the living room, which I always took (after all, it was my fault we had to do this in the first place).

On the plus side of the separate bedrooms thing, we each got the kind of bed we liked, mine rock hard, hers cushy soft. I could roll over whenever I wanted and not worry about waking the lightest sleeper in the world. She had a fighting chance of a decent night's sleep. And if one of us (usually her) wanted to go to bed early, the other (me) wouldn't wake the early retiree getting into bed.

Now that I no longer snore at all, and since the cpap acts as a kind of white noise machine to mask disturbing noises, we are back to sleeping together. We DID have to get a Sleep Number bed, and that solved the differing mattress requirement problem.

Once again, all is calm and peaceful at night. There were pluses and minuses to both. In a weird sort of way, the separate rooms thing worked for us. We could each have our stuff just the way we liked it, and our differing sleep schedules and my snoring was no longer a source of irritation. Cpap of course solved some of those problems, and some good ol' fashioned give and take took care of the rest.

Babette · Post by **Babette** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:55 pm

Well, since I'm pretty certain neither one will get a cpap machine (I suspect both could benefit from it), I'm pushing the seperate bedrooms idea on them.

I think it's a function of their age, but that coupled with my stepfather's disability is just magnifying every little thing for them. Maybe if they both slept better, they'd be less snappish with each other. And me.

Thanks all for your input!!!

Cheers,
Babs

For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Re: For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

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