Newbie needs a little help & understanding...(long)

[sleephunter]

Hello all,

First off I wanted to say thank you to SnoreDog, who on a previous post concerning my machine, helped me identify and understand the massive differences in the types of machines out there versus what I have.

After gaining knowledge about the types of machines I armed myself with the knowledge of all the types of machines out there, their pros and cons and set out to talk to my Sleep Doctor.

I was amazed at my visit with him. He actually uddered the words "I don't have a God complex and will listen and work with you to help you find the best treatment possible". I almost fell out of my chair.

Well, I explained that over the last two weeks I was getting roughly 1 and 1/2 hours of sleep each and every night on the mask before unconsciously taking it off for the rest of the night. I asked him why would I consistently and 1 and 1/2 hours would I do that and he explained that somewhere between 60 - 90 minutes is when the first major REM cycle begins and I May need a higher pressure then was originally prescribed. As it turns out, during my titration I never achieved REM sleep and therefore never had a complete titration study.

At that point he stopped me dead in my tracks and answered the question before I had a chance to ask. "You need to get your machine switched to an Auto Titrating PAP". At that point I felt relieved because someone started to finally understand what I was going through.

Ok now on to the bad part of this post. Because of the previous 3 weeks lack of sleep I have started to fall down the anxiety and depression path. My doc prescribed Paxil for the daytime and Clonazipam for the night time to help with the anxiety as well as help get me to sleep. I know I still need about a week for the medication to take effect but still I feel as if I am losing it at times.

Has anyone else gone through this anxiety / depression cycle due to trouble with their CPAP treatment? I was literally on the floor crying at my wifes feet begging her to just help me get to sleep.

I am waiting for my new machine to arrive, but I don't know how to go about getting past the anxiety to just let the treatment work. My wife mentioned aromatherapy and I have applied to SleepGuy's call for trial study participants so hopefully that will help.

Sorry for the long ramble but I just needed to get this all off my chest and although I haven't posted much, I have kept up reading each and every post here for weeks.

Thanks for taking the time to read

-- Bill

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CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): Titration, CPAP, auto

[Jirel]

Yes, I've had much less trouble than you and I am still going through increased depression. So far the only suggestion the professionals have come up with is the remember to train my thoughts to shape my feelings. ie- to believe that things will get better, to plan ahead and see myself taking the correct steps to get things right.

You are actually the best person to analyze what will work best for your thoughts. Will it help to picture the machine to come and think of all the ways it will work for you? Or do you want to find the most enlightening success story and print it out and read it right before bed? Or will the story of the worst time and how it was turned around help the best? Or do you need to find a spirital source to put your troubles to? That will help. Also, take the other things you normally worry about and work to put them to one side. If nothing else, tell yourself you will worry about them next month. That way you will help save energy for dealing with your cpap treatment.

Good luck and I hope you are able to get a handle on what will work the best for you.

[sleephunter]

All good suggestions, I may just try a few of those out over the next few nights.

I really do want to picture myself using the machine successfully, getting back into shape going back to my martial arts classes and finally achieving my black belt.

Most of those dreams were lost recently due to surgery and this damn sleep apnea. I am hoping I can start to take control of the situation to right the ship. I know life is never easy but hell does it ALWAYS have to be this hard?

Thanks for the thoughts

[Snoredog]

so are you going to swap out your current Plus machine for a autopap version?

I would ask for the new A-Flex machine, it will have the new A-Flex feature which is effortless to breathe against even more than what Cflex already offers.

[sleephunter]

Yes I will be swapping out my machine for the A-flex machine. I am just hoping that the DME has one in stock. I really do think that my pressure does vary widely enough to warrant one.

Again, SnoreDog, thanks for your advice.

[Guest]

Has anyone else gone through this anxiety / depression cycle due to trouble with their CPAP treatment? I was literally on the floor crying at my wifes feet begging her to just help me get to sleep.

Yes. That second week on cpap was hell. I too was having panic attacks from not being able to sleep, and suffering a really deep depression ... enough that I wandered into my son's room and actually checked to make sure there was ammo for the gun. It was a very bad feeling. Then I laid down one night, expecting the same old anxiety and wakefulness and slept like a brick for about 14 hours. From then on, it improved. I think I could be doing a lot better with a more comfortable mask that actually fits, but it's such an improvement over that second week and pre-cpap I hate to complain.

I hope it gets better for you.

Susan M

[m1k2s3]

Depression - absolutely I fully understand because I seem to be going through that myself. I've only been on CPAP for about 3 months - doing really well (averaging about 6 to 7 hours a night) But somewhere along the line, it's suddenly occurred to me that this is how I have to sleep now for the rest of my life! And that really depressed me. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped that somehow this treatment would miracelously cure me. Silly, I know. I started out really well, although I had some difficulty adjusting to wearing a mask while sleeping (fear of not being able to breath - I know, dumb, since the treatment is suppose to help with my breathing) I felt the only way to be successful at this was to get used to wearing the mask. At first, at night, I'd put on the mask and try to keep it on for 10 or 15 minutes longer than the night before and during the day, I spent time wearing just the mask - reading, watching TV, etc. Everyone kept telling me it takes time so be patient. I'm 52 years old and I know I've been snoring for most for those years so I guess, as they say "Rome wasn't built in a day" so I'll have to be patient. And what, you may ask am I waiting for - acceptance - acceptance that this is a part of my life now.

I know I'm rambling a bit ( sorry but I feel the need to vent a little) but I think once you get the right equipment and the correct pressure, you will have to figure out what's holding you back from success - focus on that and find something that works for you.

Good luck Bill

[amandalee]

Yes, depression and Sleep Apnea seem to go hand in hand-- misery loves company...
It really does suck to have to "sleep this way" for the rest of your life. I'm 26, how many machines, masks, etc will I go through in the rest of my lifetime?
On the other hand though, I think that my health problems are caused, or at least exacerbated by OSA. If sleeping with the mask and machine will help me not feel fatigued and run-down anymore, will help me finally have energy again so I can start having a life, etc; then I'll do my best to make it work.

Anyway, you have come to the right place. There is so much good advice and support on this board.
Good luck!

[sleephunter]

Thanks all for responding. I really thought I was alone on this one.

A specific thanks to SleepGuy for setting me up with a trial for his Pur-Sleep product. I just unpacked it and am actually excited to give it a try tonight

Sir, if this works you will have a client for life !

On another note, I think there are a few things holding me back.

1) I don't want to be a bother to my wife. Its my problem why should she have to suffer?

2) When will I feel better? I know this one is a catch 22. I won't feel better until I let go the anxiety / fear / depression. But waiting is causing those things hehe I know .... It sucks.

3) Trying to explain to my kids why I have to be on CPAP. This one hurt. Not everyday you have to try and explain to your kids that your sleep is literally killing you.

4) I used to be such an active person. I want to be that active person again. Martial Arts, Biking, Traveling, Building onto my house..... All those things went by the wayside this year because of shoulder surgery and the discovery of my sleep apnea.

I know it just takes time and I love the "Rome wasn't built in a day" comment. That truly is correct

Thanks all for you positive thoughts, and I will be thinking all those good things as I start a new era in my sleep therapy tonight.

In addition, I did some research on Melatonin, since that topic came up today, and after talking to my doc, I am going to start titrating in a low dose (sub 300 micrograms) of melatonin and see how it works. Who knows maybe these things (Pur-Sleep, Melatonin, Positive thoughts) will all work tonight.

Wish me luck!

[RosemaryB]

I used to suffer from depression and anxiety and the more sleep deprived I got, the worse it got. Not getting enough sleep, REM or deeper sleep stages can put you in hell. When you are feeling really down, just remember that it's not you, it's lack of sleep or good quality sleep that is doing it. With CPAP, it will eventully lift. Time, work, success.

Work at your therapy and get printouts of your reports and post them here if you'd like some feedback. This will help you be successful. Ask questions about problems you are having, too. This forum helped me a lot and made a big difference. I didn't understand the reports well at first, but now I do, thanks to everyone here.

I noticed a difference once my therapy got underway, though I didn't have so hard a time as many others. What I'm noticing now, three months into it, is that there are times that I feel happy for no apparent reason. Then I'm surprised at it. I don't remember a time in my adult life when I've felt like that, just happy in a relaxed way. I believe that I've had this all my adult life, though I think it's gotten worse over the years.

Just hang in there, one night at a time and it will begin to work for you. You are a step ahead in having a good doctor!

[sleephunter]

Just a quick update,

Thanks to everyone for all your suggestions. Although I didn't have the giant leap forward that I was hoping (I kind of expected that), I did see some minor improvement.

With some minor alterations to where and how much pur-sleep I use (possibly even picking up one of the other scents), as well as all the imagery techniques and preparation, I think there just might be light at the end of the tunnel.

Now all I need to complete this cycle is to get my new Auto A-Flex machine and I should be good to go and start on the fine tuning process.

I just can't wait for that first morning that I actually wake up with my mask still on (as craxy as that sounds) lol.

Thanks again.

[Julie]

I'd like to put one thing in perspective (as a married woman), and that is I'm quite sure your wife would be a lot more bothered by your not being around, or by your needing therapy post-stroke than she is by your wearing a mask at night and going through a little adjustment.

[echo]

Sleephunter, glad to hear that you are making small improvements... that's very important!

I find that for me, especially if I am in a down slump, keeping a log of how I feel during the day, how long I've slept, what I've eaten, what I weight (all the things I struggle with), plus all the positive/negative things I did that day (too much sugar, a bit of exercise, whatever), really helps me see my progress - and it keeps me motivated. And it also helps keep the slumps in perspective as well - when you feel down, it seems like you feel down all the time (depression makes time slow down??), but if you can see it on paper, that actually you only felt down one day out of three, and that's because you were exceptionally stressed, or ate bad the day before, or had problems with your mask , whatever, will all help give you a sense of control. Well it does for me (but I'm also a compulsive organizer!) - and it's a good feeling to go back and see your progress, and it gives you something to work with when you don't have progress.

Good luck, I hope you find what works for you!... and a speedy delivery on the new machine.

[drummergirl410]

Hello.

I'n glad you're starting to see some positive change. I also did nto go into REM sleep during my titration study. My sleep doc. want APAP from the start witha two-week trial period at 5/20 pressure so that he can pinpoint exactly what range I need. The APAP I have is on trial to me for two weeks, but I think they will let me keep it permenantly.... I just wasn't asked to sign the papers on the innitial visit. You seem to have a good sleep doc. from what you've commented. The machine you are getting is a good one as well. Your doc. may do a similar trial to determine your exact pressure range. Mine will be over on Thursday of this week and I'm expecting a return visit from the RT to download my data to give to the doctor sometime before the week is out. I will keep you in my prayers. I have not experienced the depression/anxiety, but my mother hes. It can be a very firightening thing and I hope the meds will bring you some relief.

I can also understand where you're coming from in regard to your children. I can imagine some are petrafied while others might get a bit too curious. Your acceptance of it will go a long way in helping them do the same. Once the "new" wears off, I bet it won't even be an issue any more.

[echo]

I was amazed at my visit with him. He actually uddered the words "I don't have a God complex and will listen and work with you to help you find the best treatment possible". I almost fell out of my chair.

BTW that is AWESOME! You are so lucky to have such a great doc

Oh and with the kids, maybe a few Darth Vader impersonations might help lighten the atmosphere And on that note, reading some of the CPAP humor on this site (under the yellow light bulb at the top of the page) really helped put a smile on my face regarding this whole process.

Try getting a massage during the day with the mask & CPAP on - maybe that will help you associate good feelings with it

...you are definitely NOT alone on this one

sending you virtual
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ POSITIVE VIBES }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

(my mom used to do that for me when I had exams, I swear it works )