OSA creating Martial Discord - PLEASE HELP!!!

[Lucyhere]

This is creating more than marital discord, it is creating an unsafe sleeping environment. Your wife does not feel safe. Respect the boundaries she has and do not try to "push" yourself back into the bedroom until she feels safe again.

No. She has put up with it for SEVEN years! Never said a word and now she is feeling "unsafe"? No she is using it to manipulate him. SHE is the one that should be asking for forgiveness for not telling him and causing untold harm to him. She should be the one on the couch.

Black Spinner,

We all have different opinions. It is unnecessary to delete my post when I say I think you are creating discord and I don't care enough to fight with you. You have made your opinion on the situation very clear, now accept that others may disagree or have other opinions to offer and go on. (your first post on the matter: viewtopic/t110524/OSA-creating-Martial- ... l#p1059218)

Kind regards,
GB

Yup... if someone doesn't agree with a post, "some" people delete that post. Occasionally, "some" people get their spam buttons removed. However, "some" of those people have probably gotten theirs back by now.

Perhaps Black Spinner could apologize for accidentally deleting my post? I think that would assure everyone she is a just and emotionally stable moderator, not given to flights of fancy free post deletion when it suits her.

+1

[kteague]

I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apena with behaviors that mimic REM Sleep Behavior Disorder... She has completely withdrawn from me, no hugs, no handholding, and as stated above, I am on the couch. She has entered counseling for trauma and PSTD. I am scared I am going to lose my wife to this sleep disorder. I am looking for anyone who has some similar experiences. Someone I can talk to. Someone who can offer some hope. Are there any spouses out there that were bed partners to similar experiences?

My father had RBD and OSA. Not that it was diagnosed - this was long long ago. His episodes were frightening, and like you, when he was awake he was a gentle man. Let's hope that over time with successful CPAP treatment you will have no more episodes of acting out your dreams, and in time your wife can feel safe with you. Till then, I can only suggest patience and letting her know her sense of safety your priority. And as others have said - counseling. Hope CPAP treatment changes things for you.

[eheitkamp]

Thanks to all of you that took the time to reply to my post. This has been a brutal 3 month process. One I never thought I would find myself in. I think it is important that everyone know that I still dearly love my wife. Placing blame at this point is not going to solve any issues. I was hopeful that after the diagnosis that she would understand that the actions and words were part of the medical condition and we could move on. It has not been that easy. Therapy for the both of us is currently ongoing. Hoping that time and patience will cure this…..like the CPAP did for my OSA and RBD.

Again, if anyone has any similar issues, please PM me....would appreciate any feedback/help that can be provided.

[Michelle-OH]

This is creating more than marital discord, it is creating an unsafe sleeping environment. Your wife does not feel safe. Respect the boundaries she has and do not try to "push" yourself back into the bedroom until she feels safe again.

No. She has put up with it for SEVEN years! Never said a word and now she is feeling "unsafe"? No she is using it to manipulate him. SHE is the one that should be asking for forgiveness for not telling him and causing untold harm to him. She should be the one on the couch.

Black Spinner,

We all have different opinions. It is unnecessary to delete my post when I say I think you are creating discord and I don't care enough to fight with you. You have made your opinion on the situation very clear, now accept that others may disagree or have other opinions to offer and go on. (your first post on the matter: viewtopic/t110524/OSA-creating-Martial- ... l#p1059218)

Kind regards,
GB

Yup... if someone doesn't agree with a post, "some" people delete that post. Occasionally, "some" people get their spam buttons removed. However, "some" of those people have probably gotten theirs back by now.

Perhaps Black Spinner could apologize for accidentally deleting my post? I think that would assure everyone she is a just and emotionally stable moderator, not given to flights of fancy free post deletion when it suits her.

Good luck with that

[Michelle-OH]

Thanks to all of you that took the time to reply to my post. This has been a brutal 3 month process. One I never thought I would find myself in. I think it is important that everyone know that I still dearly love my wife. Placing blame at this point is not going to solve any issues. I was hopeful that after the diagnosis that she would understand that the actions and words were part of the medical condition and we could move on. It has not been that easy. Therapy for the both of us is currently ongoing. Hoping that time and patience will cure this…..like the CPAP did for my OSA and RBD.

Again, if anyone has any similar issues, please PM me....would appreciate any feedback/help that can be provided.

That had to be very scary for your wife, hoping that with counseling and time you both can work this out. Sound very positive since you are both obviously working to heal, best of luck. I've never heard of the type of behavior you were exhibiting, doesn't seem like anybody much has since no one has responded regarding the RBD. Have you found any forums that deal with that? Must be scary to learn about your behavior too, I feel for you both.

[Julie]

GB - where did you get the idea BS is a moderator (or were you being ironic?)?

[BlackSpinner]

Yup... if someone doesn't agree with a post, "some" people delete that post. Occasionally, "some" people get their spam buttons removed. However, "some" of those people have probably gotten theirs back by now.

Perhaps Black Spinner could apologize for accidentally deleting my post? I think that would assure everyone she is a just and emotionally stable moderator, not given to flights of fancy free post deletion when it suits her.

Total fucking bullshit little brain concern troll

[chunkyfrog]

I have to feel Bons and Blackspinner's remarks have merit.
This "marital" is in fact a martial situation. Nobody is safe.
The train has jumped the tracks. Some may feel that salvage is possible, and worth it.
Others do not. Manipulation is also a form of violence.

[Lucyhere]

Total fucking bullshit little brain...

Ohhh, BlackSpinner, don't be so hard on yourself. We know you can't help it and perhaps with therapy you could learn to love yourself. Then, perhaps you might apologize for accidentally deleting posts you don't agree with.

[GettingBetter]

Thanks to all of you that took the time to reply to my post. This has been a brutal 3 month process. One I never thought I would find myself in. I think it is important that everyone know that I still dearly love my wife. Placing blame at this point is not going to solve any issues. I was hopeful that after the diagnosis that she would understand that the actions and words were part of the medical condition and we could move on. It has not been that easy. Therapy for the both of us is currently ongoing. Hoping that time and patience will cure this…..like the CPAP did for my OSA and RBD.

Again, if anyone has any similar issues, please PM me....would appreciate any feedback/help that can be provided.

I wish the best for both of you. Take care. GB

[GettingBetter]

Yup... if someone doesn't agree with a post, "some" people delete that post. Occasionally, "some" people get their spam buttons removed. However, "some" of those people have probably gotten theirs back by now.

Perhaps Black Spinner could apologize for accidentally deleting my post? I think that would assure everyone she is a just and emotionally stable moderator, not given to flights of fancy free post deletion when it suits her.

Total fucking bullshit little brain concern troll

No, I don't have a degree from Columbia University of Neurological Technology, but I'm not a potty mouth either.

[flightco]

no hugs, no handholding, and as stated above, I am on the couch

My first three wives were like that.

I figure it's like CPAP masks - you have to keep trying until you find one that works for you.

For me, the fourth one is a charm.

I have found that it costs considerably less to change masks and sometimes insurance helps pay for it. Any chance wives could come with a 30 day trial?

[palerider]

Total fucking bullshit little brainless concern troll

ftfy.

[Lucyhere]

Total fucking bullshit little brain...

Ohhh, BlackSpinner, don't be so hard on yourself. We know you can't help it and perhaps with therapy you could learn to love yourself. Then, perhaps you might apologize for accidentally deleting posts you don't agree with.

The above post was recently deleted. So, I thought I'd post it again.

[BlackSpinner]

Failed kindergarden Lucy? Are you really dropping that far down?

Who are you trying to drive away now that you got rid of Pugsy? Who is paying you guys?