CPAP Police

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:05 am

Decided to take a break from my trusty puffer last night and had one of the worst nights I’ve ever experienced. Every time I dozed off I got to enjoy the exhilarating adrenalin rush of a rude awakening. I kept wondering who turned me in to the Non-compliance Police.

Oh they are out there and they are insidious. Luxuriating in my strapless state I headed off for my decadent escape. Just as I was about to shake hands with Morpheus they struck. Cast out into the cold waters of awareness by the rattling of my windows and the shaking my bed. What was that horrendous noise? Golf club in hand I set out to confront the elephant burglar who surely must of broken in.

Hearth and home secured, I once again sought the solitude of my eyelids, only to be assaulted once more. Not since my days of youthful indiscretion, when I thought being in front of the 500 foot speaker at a rock concert was the coolest thing, had my teeth rattled so. Ready to rip the speaker wires out of their sockets, I rolled over only to find my wife taking demure breaths as she continued her slumber. Was she gas-lighting me to gain control of the remote? Oh she is good, but not that good.

Once more I took sail on the boat to Nod just to have it capsized by an icicle attack under my covers. Did you realize the temperature of a dog’s nose drops 100 degrees when panicked by a freak thunderstorm? Dog extraction completed, I locked the door and returned to my bed.

Ever noticed how hard it is to fall asleep to Rap music? I mean the base beat against the door was captivating but my kids really need to work on their lyrics. Does “Daddy make it stop, make it stop” sound catchy to you? Consoling them with promises to contact the airport and have them change the flight plan for those low flying jets, I bundled them off to bed.

My head barely touched my pillow when the alarm erupted forcing me greet my day. Yes they punished me for taking my non-therapeutic holiday but they won’t get the best of me. I am already disassembling my CPAP to find the hidden transmitter I know is in there and if that fails I plan to duct tape my mask to the dog.

rock and roll · Post by **rock and roll** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:12 am

every now and then I try a night without my cpap, one night out of town or I convince myself that my mask is waking me up or some other reason. I NEVER feel good the next day. It makes a big difference in how you feel.

WillSucceed · Post by **WillSucceed** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:14 am

Hey Mikemoran:
I think that your picture is a fake, and your name is a nom de plume (sp?). In real life, I suspect that you are Stuey from Family Guy. Is your assault against CPAP but one small step in your plan for world domination? Are you planning to turn your CPAP machine into a device to gas Lois while she sleeps? Has that martini-drinking mutt, Brian, finally gotten the better of you?

Enquiring minds want to know!

Grabraham · Post by **Grabraham** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 11:09 am

Not having the creative energy to embellish.. I had my first half compliance night last night. I woke up at 3:30am and my activa felt a little funny, I poped the buckle and got up to use the bathroom, settled back in and put the activa back on and the darn thing was making a heck of a racket and I could not get a seal...thats odd it is not filling up.. took my a good 30-45 seconds of muddled half awake thought to figure out the cushion had loosened from the green retaining clip. I was very tired and rather than switch masks or fix the activa I turned the remstar off and went to sleep. I don't feel to much different for the last 3 hours sans cpap but made sure I fixed everything up this morning

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 11:18 am

Will,

Right channel wrong show. Take off the false beard and toupee and you will clearly see I am a guy that loves donuts and blue hair. LOL

Grab,

Was listening to my scanner and heard they were writing you up. Don't worry I hear its only a forty wink fine.

NOzsnAZ · Post by **NOzsnAZ** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:59 pm

D'OH!!!

C'mon MM, we all know THAT guy has no trouble sleeping. Drooling while asleep however....

My favorite line:

I am already disassembling my CPAP to find the hidden transmitter I know is in there and if that fails I plan to duct tape my mask to the dog.

MY dog did NOT like how hard I laughed when I read that. She's decided to sleep outside tonight.

NOzsnAZ

Bryan · Post by **Bryan** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:33 am

Hi,
Im new to all of this and find myself having to buy my first cpap.
obviously, a quiet unit that looks kind of sharper image ish
with headgear thats easy on and off.
my current rental is resporonics ds 200 but it seems quite expensive.
Any reccomendations folks?
Thanks
Bryan

Slinky · Post by **Slinky** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:59 am

The price might be expensive but it is darn near the absolute bottom of the line CPAP by Respironics. It is also called the Remstar Plus w/or w/o C-Flex and had absolutely no data capabilities at all except compliance data.

Are you self-paying or do you have insurance which pays for some part or all of your CPAP equipment?

Most insurance companies contract w/local DME companies for xPAPs by HCPCS code and pay the same amount for a bare-bones, bottom of the barrel xPAP as they do for a fully data capable autoPAP. Thus there is more profit to the local DME to provide the cheapest xPAP possible. They buy these in bulk from the manufacturers to get the best purchase price thereby also increasing their profit margin.

Check out the prices at cpap.com for the various machines, including the "expensive" one you've been offered. Then call your insurance company and ask about your DME benefits: copays, deductable, local DME suppliers they are contracted with, limits, etc. It is entirely possible in some cases to get an xPAP online self-pay cheaper than thru a local DME supplier via insurance. You can even take advantage of your insurance and local DME supplier for just your masks and their service until you are comfortable bypassing the locals entirely.

Even if you have good insurance it could well be worth your while to check out any possible cost savings thru billmyinsurance.com or if you qualify thru cpapforseniors.com, both sister companies to cpap.com

papdaddy · Post by **papdaddy** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:35 pm

I'm breaking out my tinfoil hat and duct taping my windows They will never take me alive.

j.a.taylor · Post by **j.a.taylor** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:41 pm

papdaddy wrote:I'm breaking out my tinfoil hat and duct taping my windows They will never take me alive.

Everyone knows tinfoil hats don't work.

Ya hafta put a metal strainer on your head, and hold up a metal spautula, while standing in a lightning storm.

That'll fry out the transmitters in your brain.

Come on get with it!

RosemaryB · Post by **RosemaryB** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 5:32 pm

NOzsnAZ wrote:D'OH!!!

C'mon MM, we all know THAT guy has no trouble sleeping. Drooling while asleep however....

My favorite line:

I am already disassembling my CPAP to find the hidden transmitter I know is in there and if that fails I plan to duct tape my mask to the dog.
MY dog did NOT like how hard I laughed when I read that. She's decided to sleep outside tonight.

NOzsnAZ

papdaddy · Post by **papdaddy** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 6:26 pm

j.a.taylor wrote:
papdaddy wrote:I'm breaking out my tinfoil hat and duct taping my windows They will never take me alive.
Everyone knows tinfoil hats don't work.

Ya hafta put a metal strainer on your head, and hold up a metal spautula, while standing in a lightning storm.

That'll fry out the transmitters in your brain.

Come on get with it!

Yeah but first I need to find my Flux capacitor.

jburnham · Post by **jburnham** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:37 pm

ear plugs baby!

Haven't you guys all figured out that flux capcitors and forty-weight ball bearings are old school? It's all about the ear plugs!

I know your sleepy brain is thinking "hey, maybe my apnea went away and I'll actually sleep better without this wet crushing mask with a cumbersome hose strapped to my face", but train your brain to think about sleeping without a supply of oxygen - you're on the moon and that mask is your lifeline - a few minutes without it and you're brain turns to Jello......

papdaddy · Post by **papdaddy** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:38 pm

There's allways room for Jello.

goose · Post by **goose** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:43 pm

I used to like Jello.....
Then I spent a few weeks in the hospital......
I told 'em, "don't bring me yellow or orange jello. Only Red and Green. I think all hospitals have is yellow and orange"......

Now I hate jello......

cheers
goose

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