Husbands' Sleeplessness

Hi!!
I'm not sure if anyone can help me with this situation, but here goes....
My husband has a very nervous (and annoying habit) of either rocking his leg from side to side or popping it up and down. I've let him know that this is a nervous habit, and asked him why he does it.
His response is that it keeps him from relaxing!!! He says that if he relaxes, he's afraid that he might die!! When we go to bed for the night, right when he's about to go into a really good sleep, he will jerk himself awake. As a result, he is usually very, very tired.
Even he tries to take a nap on the sofa, he will position himself in such a way as to cause himself discomfort, to intentionally not be comfortable.
Has anyone heard of anything like this??? There are other issues going on with him as well...he was sexually abused as a child by a family member and sometimes has very low self esteem.
I'm at my wits end....I love my husband very much and want to find him some help. Any responses will be greatly appreciated.

Hi, I think this may have nothing to do with sleeping (or only incidentally), but if you can persuade him (or maybe his family doctor) to see a therapist of some kind, it might be a good idea. He may well not have resolved issues from his childhood and need to work them out with a professional.

Your husband could very well have a neurological movement disorder. When my RLS and PLMD were undiagnosed and untreated, I was NEVER still. I bounced my legs, tapped my feet, squirmed and paced - desperately doing anything to keep those uncomfortable legs sensations at bay. To the observer, it probably looked like something more ominous was going on. It was not a nervous habit nor was it psychologically based. It was RLS and PLMD, and it was torture. Has he had a sleep study? And if OSA happens to show up on the the sleep test, a repeat study while on therapeutic cpap treatment would be in order to see if anything else manifests.

Kteague - your advice is always terrific and much appreciated, but this man seems to be deliberately, voluntarily putting himself in positions to stay 'conscious' as he's afraid of dying in his sleep. That's not a sleep disorder, but an emotional/mental problem that needs addressing somewhere else. His lack of sleep is on purpose... kind of counter to everyone else's here. What a world!

I am interested in why he is afraid of death more than anything.
Seriously I feel that if you address this point then the need to stay tense my become moot. Is this fear due to his eternal destination after he dies?
Definitely not a case that can be diagnosed over the Internet. Is he at all willing to see a sleep disorders specialist? Or maybe try one of the survey type questionnaires at the top of the forum? There could be definitely be sleep disorders here, as well as post-traumatic stress syndrome, for which psychotherapy is very helpful. I can suggest you derma sleep patch. You just need to apply on specified part. You will get nice drug free and quality sleep. Tell your husband to go try the product or if wish he can surf the Internet for the products.

I don't know if I agree, Julie. Before I was diagnosed with OSA, I was an insomniac. I couldn't tell you WHY I was afraid to go to sleep - I just was. It was barely recognizable as a fear, even - I just didn't ever want to go to bed, and wouldn't go until I was so physically exhausted I couldn't stay awake anymore. The doctors didn't know what to make of this - but as soon as I was diagnosed with OSA, everything was fine. I was no longer so reluctant to go to bed. I think sometimes our brains subconsciously know something bad is happening to us in our sleep - we just don't know what.

I'm not saying that's what's happening with the OP's husband - I'm just saying that was my own personal experience.

College Girl, that's where I was also. Between the PLMD and OSA, sleep was so horrid that although I desperately needed it, avoiding it was the only way to avoid the torment. Could I have verbalized that then? No. Those of you who remember me being in the chatroom a year ago might remember when I was having dying "dreams" (OBE's?). There were times after an episode that I stayed awake 2-3 days at a time because I never knew what sleep might bring. Not that I said "let me stay awake". I just did. Got my cpap treatment straightened out, and haven't had one night of avoiding sleep since. May still not have good sleep, but it's not for lack of trying.

While none of us can diagnose the husband, I think we all agree that what he's doing isn't working for him (them) and he's suffering quite possibly needlessly. My heart goes out for him.

And my inclination is a sleep study first. Why let more time pass chasing "maybes"? It may come to that, but a sleep study would be most diagnostically direct and cover the potential major players as causes, or reveal the end effect if it is psychological. (Not to mention there have been many posts on here of people who were first treated as a psychiatric patient before finding their problems were actually sleep related.) Start with what's concrete.

I'm thinking in a sleep study setting with him having the security that he is being monitored and no one is going to let him die, he just may crash so hard they gets tons of data on him. Sure hope we get updates as time goes by.

Kathy