OT: Managing Stress - Any ideas?

Greetings All,

This forum is so full of helpful folks, I was wondering if anyone here is aware of any similarly helpful forum or other resources for stress management?

The last month or so at work have been very stressful. High visibility project, new boss, demanding customer, tight timelines, etc. Now every time my email chimes, I can feel my heart leap in my chest and hear my pulse in my ears.

Twice in the past 15 years I've gotten to a similar level of work stress. Both times I solved the problem by running away -- I quit my job(s). At this stage in my life (turning 50 in a couple of weeks) I don't really want to pull that drastic trigger. Generally, I like my job (well - I have been enjoying it until the last month or so).

Is there any way to put that genie back in the bottle? I've been trying to keep up with my regular eating, sleeping, and exercise regime.

Thanks for any pointers,

John

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

I find that exercise has been helpful for me for dealing with stress. It's helped me for many years, having an exercise program at home gave me something else to focus on. Now that I have more time, I'm doing a lot more exercise, but please look into this. Mot only does it help with stress, but you can be more healthy than you would be otherwise. Make sure that you set aside the time...some people need a group setting to make exercise work (a gym or spa), but I've been able to set up my own program, and just set aside the time for it, for a minimum of 3 times a week. You have to do it regularly, though, it gives you something to look forward to that isn't stressful, just physically demanding.

Bill44133 wrote:God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...

Thanks, Bill. It is an important think to remember.

RogerSC wrote:I find that exercise has been helpful for me for dealing with stress.

I've been taking time to exercise every day. Not too strenuous, but it is every day for close to an hour. It helps, but my mind still wanders back to work issues... I think I need a way to tell my mind to "give it a rest." Logically, I can go down a list of reasons that everything is OK, but I still get worked up easily and needlessly.

Thanks,

John

Hi John,

I hear you on this. I was changing jobs every 2 years partially because of the stress factor - basically I was always running away.

Getting my hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue diagnosed and treated has gone a long way in helping me tolerate stress and have much MUCH less anxiety (not to mention all the other benefits). You can find more info in my signature (Stop the Thyroid Madness).

JohnO wrote:

RogerSC wrote:I find that exercise has been helpful for me for dealing with stress.

I've been taking time to exercise every day. Not too strenuous, but it is every day for close to an hour. It helps, but my mind still wanders back to work issues... I think I need a way to tell my mind to "give it a rest." Logically, I can go down a list of reasons that everything is OK, but I still get worked up easily and needlessly.

Thanks,

John

Find a mantra, prayer, song, or chant that has meaning to you and use it while you exercise. Find music that soothes your soul to exercise with. Every time your mind wanders back to work just start the words over again. When you take your lunch break, take a few minutes to walk and recite your words.

The thing to remember is when talking to your emotional mind you are dealing with a toddler - the word NO has no effect. Only positive present tense statements work.

BlackSpinner wrote: Find a mantra, prayer, song, or chant that has meaning to you and use it while you exercise. Find music that soothes your soul to exercise with. Every time your mind wanders back to work just start the words over again. When you take your lunch break, take a few minutes to walk and recite your words.

The thing to remember is when talking to your emotional mind you are dealing with a toddler - the word NO has no effect. Only positive present tense statements work.

THIS!

I think this is exactly what I need to do. I really need to get in that habit. I used to have trouble sleeping at night - also thinking about work (or any concerns) and I've been effective for years at making my mind NOT think about "awake time" concerns. If I think my mind is going that direction I immediately start thinking about a set of "safe" thoughts, such as thinking about where I want to vacation next, or that time at the bar on the beach in Clearwater, Florida.

Now I need to get in the habit you suggest. Getting that repetitive positive mental story into my brain to stop obsessing about the, "oh no, she's gonna fire me because I didn't do X" that is running through my brain all day..."

Thanks!

Several tactics:
--plan ahead; anticipate future "emergency" assignments.
I was often able to prepare for future tasks, impressing the clueless big shot who only wanted stuff "now".
--prioritize projects, and inform others where and why their job is on the queue. Bosses have a pecking order--if you are doing something for the top dog, the others may need to wait or make other arrangements.
--Don't take work home, even mentally. Play hard, laugh loud, love completely. (and cry, scream, and smash things when you need to)
--A teensy bit of alprazolam at bedtime helped me relax and sleep when the pressure was unbearable.

Several years ago, I had a very stressful situation with a new boss who was very difficult, brought several employees from her last store (had favorites) broke company rules and health department laws, etc. To make things worse, she was brought to my store by the new store manager, so she was protected by him. At the time, I'm sure she thought I wanted her job, but really, I just didn't want her breaking the rules and also treating some of my co-workers badly. IN some ways, I was protected too since I had over 15 years with the company, and the new store manager used to be an assistant manager at my store years earlier, so he was nice to me. But some of my coworkers were getting cheated out of hours, working 18-24 hours a week while new favorites were getting 40+. I stood up for my coworkers, reported violations, and went above the manager's head. I contacted human resources, the union, and loss prevention. I even reported us to the health department. She couldn't fire me or do anything big, but it was very stressful to work with her on a daily basis. We clearly hated each other, yet we were stuck with each other.

I used to wake up every work day and get sick. I would feel horrible during the first few hours of my shift until she left for the day. One day, as I was walking to work, I was thinking about the Harry Potter series. This will make more sense if you are familiar with the story. I decided that my boss was like a dementor. Sucking the joy out of me. In the books, dementors are being who suck the joy and life out of people. The only way to defend yourself from them is with a patronus, which is cast by a very happy thought. I laughed and thought about the patronus being the idea of people going to their happy place. So, I decided to make one I could take with me.

At the time, I had a cat who would ride around on my shoulder. I practiced at him, memorized how it felt physically for him to be sitting on my shoulder, leaning against my face, purring. At work, when I was having a tough time, I would think of Maynard, and then I could feel him sitting on my shoulder. It worked. I stopped feeling sick at work. I was able to keep working with her and keep a smile on my face. I wasn't so stressed, and she didn't bother me so much.

That was years ago. I still work with her, and get this, we LIKE each other. We get along great. She realized I didn't want her job. I don't want anybody in trouble. I just want the job done right. She started following the rules, and I quit reporting her. I also picked my battles. Break a safety rule that only puts you at risk, I won't say anything. Break a health department rule that puts somebody else at risk, I will keep reporting it. So, at some point, she stopped thinking that I was out to get her and realized I could be a really good asset. For a few years now, we have had a great working relationship. I do her computer work (which I like doing), that makes her look good. And I get all my special requests off, even at the last minute. We are both quite happy with the deal.

I never would have foreseen it working out like this. I used to pray for her to get transferred. Now, I would hate for that to happen.

zoocrewphoto wrote:At work, when I was having a tough time, I would think of Maynard, and then I could feel him sitting on my shoulder. It worked. I stopped feeling sick at work.

Great story and very good example of the technique I need to master.

John

chunkyfrog wrote:Several tactics:
--plan ahead; anticipate future "emergency" assignments.
I was often able to prepare for future tasks, impressing the clueless big shot who only wanted stuff "now".
--prioritize projects, and inform others where and why their job is on the queue. Bosses have a pecking order--if you are doing something for the top dog, the others may need to wait or make other arrangements.
--Don't take work home, even mentally. Play hard, laugh loud, love completely. (and cry, scream, and smash things when you need to)
--A teensy bit of alprazolam at bedtime helped me relax and sleep when the pressure was unbearable.

Great tactics. The planning ahead is useful, and I know I feel less stressed when I make an effort. Not taking work home is hard for me, as I often work at home. I try to turn off work email at night, but every now and then something slips in (this current client seems to work 24x7, so some of that drips down to us as well). For example, it is Saturday morning, and I just had to reply to two emails from the client that arrived after 9 pm last night. It would not be acceptable for me to wait until Monday.

Oh well, this particular client engagement is supposed to end in one month. Hopefully that craziness will die down, and I can get back to just worrying about the new management.