My girlfriend and OSA

Hi everyone. Long time, no speak. I check in on the forums from time to time and like reading what everyone has to say.

I've been on xPAP for over 5 years and can't imagine a night without my mask.

I recently moved in with my girlfriend and got engaged. I am 99.9% positive that she has OSA. She has a ton of problems with her sinuses (some kind of polyps). I hear her stop breathing frequently at night, especially when her nose is stuffed up, then gasp for air about 15 seconds later. I remember back in the day when I had that problem. I have told her and told her, but she doesn't want to believe me. I even recorded her with my phone one night and played it for her the next morning. Personally, I think it is that she is afraid to have to wear a mask. I can't get her to talk to her doctor about it.
Before I was diagnosed, I constantly woke up gasping for air at night. She doesn't get woke up. She sleeps harder than anyone I have ever seen. I kid her that I think she has sleep narcolepsy because she can fall asleep in 30 seconds flat. Is it possible that she could have sleep apnea, but still fall into deep sleep? She says she feels well rested in the mornings, but that is after I spend about 20 minutes trying to raise her from the dead.

I just ordered a new S9 Autoset and a new mask (Quattro). I think I might be able to talk her into going onto the hose for a night or two for an in-home "sleep-study", but I'm not really sure how much that is going to tell me. If I set it for a very wide range, I would think that if it raises the pressure, it would tell me she is having events and maybe convince her to see her doctor about a sleep study. Is this experiment of any value?

Thanks in advance!

I think it sounds like a good idea, but I would use a narrower range with a high pressure of ten to prevent centrals. Ask her how she feels about it. Is she not having any daytime symptoms, does she snore?
Good Luck

She is tired during the day and evening and frequently falls asleep while watching television or playing a game on the laptop. She snores like a freight train!!!

The fact that she falls asleep in 30 seconds is indicative of a sleep deprived person. You might want to start off with doing an overnight pulse oximetry test to see how many desats she has. You can buy a good data capable oximeter w/software for a little over $100, and it is worth having to check yourself, too. If you already own one, use it on her to see how her O2 is overnight. If she has many desats under 88%, you need to calmly explain that that means she is suffocating while sleeping---depriving her brain and other vital organs of O2 and causing damage that will, no doubt, manifest itself in many ways as time goes by. Loss of memory, high blood pressure, heart damage, etc. This might be the jolt she needs to see for herself what is happening when she stops breathing overnight. It might be the ticket to get her to go for a lab study. When you compare fixing this with a mask and some compressed air vs the serious illnesses, drugs, and medcial care untreated OSA can yield, I think the choice is a no-brainer!

You might also explain to her that as you start down the road toward marriage, you want her to be around a good, long time. Untreated OSA could shorten her life dramatically.....

You might catch more flies with honey than vinegar as the old saying goes. I'd suggest not nagging the girlfriend at least for a while. But when it comes up naturally in conversation, do talk about your use of a CPAP machine and how much better you feel now and how you can't imagine going to sleep without using it now that you are used to it.

But don't constantly nag her about her symptoms (at least for a while). And don't go on and on about what your symptoms were and how they remind you of what she's now going through---at least not yet. As long as she's actively in denial of the possibility of having apnea, it will be difficult to nag her into getting a sleep study done. She'll just resent the nagging, and in the long run it may actually delay her facing up to the need for her to get tested for apnea.

Since you've only recently become engaged (congrats!) and moved in together, give her a chance to see your CPAP in action night after night, week upon week for at least several months. And the fact that you don't resent the necessity of sleeping with it every single night (anymore). And the fact that whatever CPAP rituals you've developed are not horribly bizarre and strange. And that the CPAP machine does not control your life, but rather that it has allowed you to take charge of your life once again. Once she gets used to the fact that you really don't mind being a hosehead and that you really do benefit from the fact that your apnea is being treated, she may lose her fear of being diagnosed and her fear about wearing a mask every night. And in the meantime, every time she goes in for a routine physical or to complain about exhaustion or simply not feeling right, gently ask her to tell her doctor about her snoring and the fact that you have witnessed her not breathing at night. If/when she ever gets brave enough to mention it and if her PCP is worth any thing at all, the PCP should strongly recommend a sleep study. And his/her staff may even be willing to set up the appointment for your girlfriend.

As for the trying to get an oxygen monitor on her: Remember that there are many of us who do NOT desat during our apneas and hypopneas for whatever reason, and if your girlfriend is someone who doesn't desat, that data may only FEED her denial. But it's just as important to still address the apnea since for folks who don't desat or who have only very minor desats, it's the constant arousals caused by the apnea that are the problem: They are enough all by themselves to create havoc with your health.

Get a recording oximeter and hook her up for a few nights -- the results should convince her she's suffering oxygen-starvation that's causing brain damage with every significant desaturation; the guideline that Medicare uses to recommend supplemental oxygen at night is dipping below 88% saturation for a significant period of time. If that doesn't do it, you have my sympathy for loving someone who's either afraid to take care of herself or in De Nile. She has the same sort of symptoms I had...I'm in the severe category.

You're telling my story. I finally convinced her to do the Oxy meter and that didn't show anything. Guess she got a good night that night. It took about 18 months but I finally convinced her to get a sleep study and guess what. Yea, she's been on the hose for about three years now and can't imagine life without it.

I just got to where I mentioned it on a regular basis and I guess I just wore her down.

Good luck

JeffH