New Scanners in SEA/TAC

Went through TSA night before last in Seattle and everyone was being shooed through their new scanners. Everyone. I dropped my stuff on the conveyor belt, and the TSA guy said, "Remove your belt. You have anything in your pockets? Step this way." And he directed me toward the line of people in front of the scanner. They weren't using the walk-thru metal detector at all.

When I got to the scanner, I balked and asked, "What's this?"

The agent avoided looking at me and said, "A scanner,"

Well, Duh! As I walked up to the scanner, I thought a minute and figured, since I had plenty of time before my flight, I'd see what happens if I refuse. "I don't think so. I'm going to opt out," I said.

"All right, sir. Please stand over there."

He passed the word to one of his associates. I kept hearing the words "Opt out" passed back and forth and the TSA people looked at me a little apprehensively, then resumed hassling the public. A couple minutes later another agent showed up. He was almost painfully polite and professional. First he asked me if I knew about the scanners. I replied that I did and that's why I was opting out. He said, "I think you'll find it's not as bad as all that," and lead me to a clear area. First, he explained what he was going to do, in detail, and said if I'd like to go to a private area and be patted down I could. I said, "That's OK, I understand. Go ahead and do what you need to do."

Arms out to sides, feet shoulder width apart and with the BACKs of his hands, ran them vertically top-down over my chest, abdomen, sides and back to the belt line. Then, telling me what he was doing the whole time, he ran his fingers around my waistband, clearly feeling for wires sewn into the fabric. Then he knealt down and very carefully explained that he was going to run the backs of his hands from my ankles upward to my thighs, stopping there. And then he did so, stopping probably 6" below my junk. Had he groped me, I'd be writing this out on bail, most likely. Clearly they've been re-trained in the procedure. However, Im pretty sure I could have hid a weasel in there and he'd have not found it.

Meanwhile all the sheeple were docilely complying and going through the scanners, while I was doing the Don Quixote-thing, standing on principle without being obnoxious or provocative. I figured if they're going to subject me to this indignity, then I'm not going to make it easy for them to do so.

Last thing the guy did was to walk over to a machine, and swab his gloves for residue and he smiled at me and gave me thumbs-up and I went on my way.

While all this was going on, an elderly Asian man at the end of the conveyor was protesting loudly about (I presume) having his backpack gone through, while his equally ancient (wife?) was heatedly arguing with him. TSA guys and a supervisor didn't understand a word of what they were saying. The agents kept looking at each other uncomfortably, and apologizing to the man, while continuing to feel around inside the backpack.

I retrieved my carry-ons, including my S9 Autoset from the end of the luggage scanner where it had been watched over by another TSA agent. They weren't interested in the CPAP inside; they didn't even ask me about it. There's a first.

Gratuitous statement of personal philosophy from an old goat among sheep: I really wish others had balked at going through the scanner and made them do the pat down.

Rage against the machine, Eschew Obfuscation, Visualize Whirled Peas, and all that.

I would much prefer going through a scanner than to be patted down. JMHO

Do we have the option of asking for both?

The scanners are no big deal. My home airport was one of the first in the country to try them. It's certainly faster than the alternative. When they were trialing them, you were allowed to go through the scanner and then go see what it looked like. I didn't see anything to get all bothered about.

Slartybartfast

You are a good man. We need many more like you.

So Well wrote:

Slartybartfast

You are a good man. We need many more like you.

Thanks. I think so too.