When someone refuses...

What on earth do you do, when you know someone who flat out refuses to see a doctor for apnea? A friend of mines husband has it, and he won't go see a doctor for it. I gave her links, i gave her statistics, he just doesn't seem to think apnea is a severe condition. erm, i just got done telling him, that patients with untreated OSA, have a 30% greater chance for a heart attack and a 45% highter risk of death than the average person. that didn't seem to bother him. help!

p.s. sorry i've been gone so long, life happens, my husband is overseas and im living with my parents until he returns so life has been busy!

If he flat out refuses to see a doctor, that's one thing; you could suggest a pulse oximeter.
But if he flat out refuses to accept the possibility that his body and brain are not invincible, then there's not much you can do. When a person does not want to know something, he won't.

Since its a friend's husband, I'd step back, and tell my friend that she has to face the fact she is living with a person who is denying a serious danger to his health and well-being.

Speaking of well-being... are you - or is your friend - aware the sleep apnea is one of the causes of sexual disfunction in males? Not sure if this is discussed between you and her, but you might sneak the info to her discretely --

O.

I understand your friend's husband's position, I was the same way.
It wasn't until I was rushed to the hospital, and put in the Cardiac ICU, that I started to take things seriously. Even then, I didn't take apnea seriously. It wasn't until my sleep study, and first good night's sleep in a LONG time that I started to come around. It wasn't until I found this forum and read what other people go through that I finally realized just HOW serious apnea can be.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot she can do to get him to go to the doctor until HE'S ready to.

except maybe ...........Tell him that until he has a hose going into his face, HIS "hose" won't be going any where near her!!!

Ask him, in all seriousness, if he'll sign the papers so you can take out a life insurance policy on him as an investment. Explain that since he hasn't been officially diagnosed, it would be fairly cheap; and it will really boost your "retirement fund" because you won't be paying premiums for very long.

My cousin did that with his brother (who was in denial about high blood pressure.) Two days later he had an appointment set up...

I think you've done all you can. You've laid out the risks, and he has to make the choice to want to save his health. Unfortunately, too many people have the "River in Egypt" condition in addition to their medical status ("De Nile"). You can't make somebody care--you can educate them, and show what you've done. He has to take it from there. As I see it, Sleep Apnea is exactly the same as smoking cigarettes. How many people continue to smoke, despite the vast medical evidence that it is deadly? You can't force someone to quit smoking--likewise, you can't force someone into a sleep lab, and buy a Cpap for their nose, with a nice new mask. They have to want to safeguard their health.

You advise your girlfriend to take out a large life insurance policy on him, and get the lipo and tummy tuck now while she can still get it covered by his medical plan, and start surfing Craigslist for her next husband.

There are a number of reasons people don't want to live. He doesn't feel the need to continue living. You've done everything you can for him. Now all you can do is help his wife move on after he dies.

Cheers,
B.

I was in denial for thirty years. Everyone told me how loud my snoring was. My kids when they were little would invite their friends over to get the laugh of a lifetime to hear me snore. (You think that alone would of make me realize that if I didn't want to be embarassed I would do something. Nope thought it was cheap entertainment for my kids)

Here are the 3 things that finally did it for me to get help.
1. Fell asleep while giving a presentation to CEO, 2 VP, 2 regional directors and my staff, I mean I was talking when I fell asleep!
2. I started falling asleep at the wheel on the way to work at 8:00 am. (Granted i was working 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week but that is not safe and that was with 2 cups of coffee)
3. I tape recorded a whole night of sleep for 2 nights. When you can actually hear your self snoring and then hear a silence that seemed to last for ever and then the gasp and then start breathing again. Its kinda of hard not to admit that I do indeed have a probel. That was my final wake up call. That was this past July!

It did not help that the doctors would just say well if you would loose weight you would be better. I started reviewing my adulttlife and realize that over half of my life I have been within the correct weight for my age and height. I go through spurts that can last several years of being obese (60lbs over weight) This summer I realized that weight maybe a contributing factor which I could no longer deny but this was ridiculous to be tired more hours then I was awake.

Add in the fact that I work with elders who have dementia and alzheimer's and people who have had strokes that were tied to osa it makes you begin to think I need to be proactive with my health then reactive.

You advise your girlfriend to take out a large life insurance policy on him, and get the lipo and tummy tuck now while she can still get it covered by his medical plan, and start surfing Craigslist for her next husband.

Whooooo! Now that is a wicked one! I do think that might work.

Rockin Mama wrote:What on earth do you do, when you know someone who flat out refuses to see a doctor for apnea? A friend of mines husband has it, and he won't go see a doctor for it. I gave her links, i gave her statistics, he just doesn't seem to think apnea is a severe condition. erm, i just got done telling him, that patients with untreated OSA, have a 30% greater chance for a heart attack and a 45% highter risk of death than the average person. that didn't seem to bother him. help!

p.s. sorry i've been gone so long, life happens, my husband is overseas and im living with my parents until he returns so life has been busy!

OK......Is he just refusing to see a doctor or would he actually refuse to use a CPAP machine?
There are insurance "stigmas" that would arise if he was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and it went into his medical records. If he could bypass the doctor thing and purchase his equipment from other sources and use them, then he could possibly self-treat his condition. This may not be the "best" or approved way of doing it, but there are probably thousands of people who take this route for whatever reasons......like lack of insurance coverage.

There are lots of data-capable machines being sold that would suffice. If they were to get the software and monitor his results, it CAN be done. Otherwise he's going to suffer in some ways as it progresses in his body. He could fall asleep at the wheel of his vehicle and kill other innocent people. At that point, the cost of the sleep study and equipment would seem like "peanuts".


Den

LinkC wrote:Ask him, in all seriousness, if he'll sign the papers so you can take out a life insurance policy on him as an investment. Explain that since he hasn't been officially diagnosed, it would be fairly cheap; and it will really boost your "retirement fund" because you won't be paying premiums for very long.

My cousin did that with his brother (who was in denial about high blood pressure.) Two days later he had an appointment set up...

actually...Link has a great point. should you be able to convince the guy to go to a doctor...tell him to get squared away with a life insurance policy for his family...or a long term disability plan...BEFORE they diagnose him.

Buy your friend a nice black dress for his funeral - maybe he will get the message.