OT: Holiday Eating Tips

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

This is great!

Loved it, Babette! I plan to follow those rules to a T.

Babette

Why can't you login ?


I love your ideas however I think You have already been
in the Eggnog.


Merry Christmas

Allen

NO STRIP DANCING ON THE TABLES!!

That's pole dancing, OP.

My employer blocks the cookies to let me login from work. I can read and post, I just can't login.

LOL,
Babs

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

Mashed potatoes are much too filling and take up room would could be used for MORE PIE !!!!!

Brian

O-hhhhh! I'm going to feel so bad in January when I step on that skill.

But now I can blame it on you Babs.

It's all your fault!

Babs since it is Christmas it is all calorie-free isn't it? I mean gosh Santa can do anything can't he?

Babette,

You have those truths of life figured out well.

I would differ only on the exercise part. I find strenuous exercise, especially free weights lifting, keeps the metabolism high and allows me to eat even more.

already chugged down some egg nog today Uuuuuuuumm! Life is Short , Eat Your Dessert First