My Son died last December from natural causes from
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Bob Hatfield
My Son died last December from natural causes from
Sleep Apnea.......He was 20 years old and was Autistic........His mother is upset and feeling guilty because she couldnt get him to wear the CPAP device..He just couldnt understand that the mask was there to help him.......He was on a low dosage of Haldol to control the tics caused by the Autisim...........She now feels guilty that the Haldol might have increased the chance of him dying from the Sleep Apnea....I cant find anything about Haldol that says it complicates Sleep Apnea anywhere in the web...........What I need is an assurance that Haldol didnt make the Sleep Apnea worse......................Thank you for any reply..........Bob..........
We are not doctors, so I'm not sure our assurance would mean anything to you, but what I CAN assure you is that you didn't do anything wrong.
You couldn't have known that this side effect might occur, even if it was the drug which caused it (which you don't know). And even if you knew with certainty that the drug DID cause the problem, you don't know what other ill effects might have come from NOT controlling the tics with the drug in question.
I am so sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself. I live with depression on a regular basis, I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of blaming yourself for anything which goes wrong in life. It can be almost comforting, because then you have something to blame, instead of not knowing.
But the fact is, you couldn't have known, and you did what you thought best at each turn. You deserve praise for raising an autistic son and for being such loving parents (obvious, because this is clearly tearing you up), and you deserve to know that you did nothing wrong.
I hope you can find it in your hearts to know you did nothing wrong, or to forgive yourselves if you can't find yourselves blameless, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Liam.
You couldn't have known that this side effect might occur, even if it was the drug which caused it (which you don't know). And even if you knew with certainty that the drug DID cause the problem, you don't know what other ill effects might have come from NOT controlling the tics with the drug in question.
I am so sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself. I live with depression on a regular basis, I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of blaming yourself for anything which goes wrong in life. It can be almost comforting, because then you have something to blame, instead of not knowing.
But the fact is, you couldn't have known, and you did what you thought best at each turn. You deserve praise for raising an autistic son and for being such loving parents (obvious, because this is clearly tearing you up), and you deserve to know that you did nothing wrong.
I hope you can find it in your hearts to know you did nothing wrong, or to forgive yourselves if you can't find yourselves blameless, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Liam.
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Guest
Your son's death
I'm very sorry for your loss. Please know I speak from experience when I tell you what I'm about to say:
What you need--is not assurance about whether Haldol made your son's sleep apnea worse. What you need is to understand that 4 months ago you lost your child and you can wrack your brains for days, weeks, months, years to come-- trying to think of ways it could have been prevented AND strangely enough, as a parent, you will stop at nothing to find ways to blame yourself.
I'm sure you have read the warnings on Haloperidol forward and backward a thousand times since then. I'm sure you're aware that, as with many, many drugs, possible side effects are all over the board. The patient might experience drowsiness and lethargy, then again the patient might experience restlessness and agitation. Perhaps instead of assuming the Haldol made the sleep apnea worse and shortened his life, you should consider the possibility that the Haldol, by virtue of it's possible connection to restlessness/agitation actually extended his life despite his sleep apnea.
THERE IS NOTHING YOU DID--- OR DIDN'T DO..... THERE IS NOTHING YOU SHOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE, MIGHT HAVE DONE... YOU CANNOT BLAME YOURSELF-- TRY AS YOU MIGHT, YOU SIMPLY CANNOT.
Perhaps the worst thing of all, is that there is no one to blame. Please know my heart goes out to you and your family. I wish you peace.
What you need--is not assurance about whether Haldol made your son's sleep apnea worse. What you need is to understand that 4 months ago you lost your child and you can wrack your brains for days, weeks, months, years to come-- trying to think of ways it could have been prevented AND strangely enough, as a parent, you will stop at nothing to find ways to blame yourself.
I'm sure you have read the warnings on Haloperidol forward and backward a thousand times since then. I'm sure you're aware that, as with many, many drugs, possible side effects are all over the board. The patient might experience drowsiness and lethargy, then again the patient might experience restlessness and agitation. Perhaps instead of assuming the Haldol made the sleep apnea worse and shortened his life, you should consider the possibility that the Haldol, by virtue of it's possible connection to restlessness/agitation actually extended his life despite his sleep apnea.
THERE IS NOTHING YOU DID--- OR DIDN'T DO..... THERE IS NOTHING YOU SHOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE, MIGHT HAVE DONE... YOU CANNOT BLAME YOURSELF-- TRY AS YOU MIGHT, YOU SIMPLY CANNOT.
Perhaps the worst thing of all, is that there is no one to blame. Please know my heart goes out to you and your family. I wish you peace.
Bob,
I too am to hear about your son. Losing a child has got to be the worst experience a parent can ever face. I cannot imagine how you and your wife are able to cope.
Guilt is horribly crippling. An understandable emotion during this time. But I hope you both can get past it. Keep in mind, it is hard for many of us as older adults, to accept having to wear this mask every night, even as we know it is important for us. Each experience is different and noone is to blame.
My heart goes out to you. You are loving parents. You did everything you could. Be there for each other. You will always love your son, even with your loss. Please don't blame yourselves.
Linda
I too am to hear about your son. Losing a child has got to be the worst experience a parent can ever face. I cannot imagine how you and your wife are able to cope.
Guilt is horribly crippling. An understandable emotion during this time. But I hope you both can get past it. Keep in mind, it is hard for many of us as older adults, to accept having to wear this mask every night, even as we know it is important for us. Each experience is different and noone is to blame.
My heart goes out to you. You are loving parents. You did everything you could. Be there for each other. You will always love your son, even with your loss. Please don't blame yourselves.
Linda
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Bob Hatfield
6 posts
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