(Form) Letter from Apria

[howkim]

[rant] I'm a relative newby here. I got my machine, etc from Apria in March. Other than fighting about masks that first month, I've not heard from them. So I get this "Dear Customer" (see how much they value my business?) letter saying how they're starting a voice recognition system asking about my "sleep therapy." The questions that will be asked seem to be equipment usage and function" (compliance?), "Possible irritation problems (eye, skin, or sinus irritation)," "Possible insurance or doctor changes," (Who's going to pay us) and supply reorders (mask, headgear, tubing, filters) (what do you want to buy now).

Wnat, they can't afford people to do this? This is SOOOOOOO irritating. I HATE talking to computers!! [/rant]

[Slinky]

Yeah, I can understand hating these types of calls. No human on the other end, or at least no way to reach them. BUT - look at it this way, this just may be the way to order what you need and want AND tell them just what you think of them and their "service" (??????)

[Yoda]

My DME has a lady who calls from another state to "check on me," but all she really wants to know is whether I am using the equipment. I won't be surprised when they replace her with a machine....

I hate talking to machines, too.

Cecile

[Paul56]

You are lucky you get any form of communication from your DME... I NEVER hear from my DME.

If you ever visit your DME... introduce yourself as "Customer".

[miketech]

After my third day after picking up my mask and machine, the lady (a clerk, secretary?) called me from my Apria office, and said she is checking up on me. I told her about the poor fit/leaking mask, sore on my nose, etc, and she says something like, "Oh, gee, that's too bad, I'm sorry..."
I wasn't convinced that my problems would actually get written down or forwarded to the Respiratory Therapist. But I had called that morning to get in to see the RT anyway. My feeling is that the phone call was just a mandatory call, to make customers feel that Apria cares.

I believe companies try to set themselves above the competition by using meaningless callbacks and collecting phone survey data. I remember many years ago, buying a new car, and the saleslady took me for the test drive, and pointed out things like "here's the windshield wiper controls, the heat, lights, defroster, etc". I thought to myself, I'm not a complete idiot. A week later, I got a customer satisfaction survey in the mail that had the questions, Did he/she show you where the controls for the wipers, lights, heater, etc was? Of course she did. That explains how the dealership got a whole wall full of (phony) customer satisfaction awards every month for every year since the beginning of time.

[Paul56]

After my third day after picking up my mask and machine, the lady (a clerk, secretary?) called me from my Apria office, and said she is checking up on me. I told her about the poor fit/leaking mask, sore on my nose, etc, and she says something like, "Oh, gee, that's too bad, I'm sorry..."

My question to her after that would have been "Is this something you can help me with?"

[carbonman]

I HATE talking to computers!! [/rant]

Dear.....DEAR...customer...
it's been a long time...
too long a time.

You mean so much to us... Dear customer,
we have a machine...
the doped silicone intelligence of the 21st century,
that can recognize your voice.

We want to know....Dear customer....
are you using your machine???
Do you know how to use your machine?

Does it irritate you....Dear customer....
Does it blow in your eye?
Does it dryout your sin'i?
Does it leak on the side or
create a mark on your cheek??

Do you still have insurance.....Dear customer?
Because if there's an inference that there isn't insurance....
well.....we're gon'a need some reassurance that somebody,
Dear customer....someBODY is going to be cough'n up the dollars.

So, inspite of the fact,
that we can never keep track,
of your tubing, filters and masks,
Dear customer....just give us a holler.....

'cause.... we have a machine, that's quit the scholar
who is really just interested in put'n the collar
on your dollar.

[BleepingBeauty]

I don't deal with Apria, but my DME is no better. I've heard from them exactly three times over the course of my 19 months on CPAP.

First phone call was the morning after my first night on the machine, just to see how I did. That was cool.

Second phone call occurred about five weeks ago, when the (new) RT there wanted to know why I still had the RemStar Auto tank that they'd loaned me back in October. (I'd returned it to my doctor's office eight months ago, who said me they'd get it back to the DME that day.)

Third call was a message left on my machine on Friday. RT says my sleep doctor wants me to change my pressure from 14 to 12. (I got that instruction directly from my doctor at the end of May and changed the pressure then. But what's another three+ weeks at the wrong pressure, as far as my DME is concerned?)

Feh. So many DMEs, so little service.

[howkim]

Dear.....DEAR...customer...
it's been a long time...
too long a time.

You mean so much to us... Dear customer,
we have a machine...
the doped silicone intelligence of the 21st century,
that can recognize your voice.

We want to know....Dear customer....
are you using your machine???
Do you know how to use your machine?

Does it irritate you....Dear customer....
Does it blow in your eye?
Does it dryout your sin'i?
Does it leak on the side or
create a mark on your cheek??

Do you still have insurance.....Dear customer?
Because if there's an inference that there isn't insurance....
well.....we're gon'a need some reassurance that somebody,
Dear customer....someBODY is going to be cough'n up the dollars.

So, inspite of the fact,
that we can never keep track,
of your tubing, filters and masks,
Dear customer....just give us a holler.....

'cause.... we have a machine, that's quit the scholar
who is really just interested in put'n the collar
on your dollar.

LOL!!! Thank you for the laugh!!! I really needed it!!

[roster]

Blame your fellow CPAP users. Some of them have insurance that pays for about any reorders of supplies and masks. Apria has data internally to prove that they get much more business by making these robot calls.

I made sure to stock up on supplies and masks when I had an insurance policy that paid for everything. Now the insurance company changed to one not so liberal, but, because of my inventory, it will be several years before I need another mask or hose.

When people feel like "someone else is paying", they make decisions ignoring the cost. This is a major reason for the distortion of high costs for health care in the U.S.