OT: Repeating Pattern of Bullying & Locked Threads

[Jay Aitchsee]

In Internet slang, a troll is a person who starts quarrels or upsets people on the Internet to distract and sow discord by posting inflammatory and digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses and normalizing tangential discussion, whether for the troll's amusement or a specific gain.

[Pugsy]

The problem is not the locked threads it’s how the errant threads deflect and effect the original posters thread. Chalkie came looking for help and his questions were lost in the noise, that is not helpful or useful

I agree with this - and I have seen Pugsy gently rebuke and remind folks to get back to the OP's concern.

I always give a warning...and when I say one warning...I mean one warning and people who ignore the warning will cause the thread to be locked. It means no more off topic discussion period.....no one gets one last little dig in about my warning without consequences.
It's a gentle warning...firm but gentle....but I mean what I say.
One of the few perks of being moderator....I do get the last word in.

[Pugsy]

Wow. I think the pile-on here is disgraceful. It's starting to look like bullying, and no dissent will be tolerated.

Bye.

Actually dissent is well tolerated here...probably more than it should be and certainly more than on other forums.
It's when the dissent turns into a biker brawl in a helping thread and the thread gets derailed and is no longer a helping thread that causes the main problem when people don't break up the fight and get back on topic.....even after being asked to get back on topic and stop the fighting.

If dissent wasn't tolerated here...the first post in this thread would have never seen the light of day.

[Pugsy]

Ok so let me see if I understand this correctly. This forum is owned by a guy and he lives here in America. This guy has invited us all over for a wonderful party at his expense. Pugsy is the hostess. She is busy greeting people and showing them where the food is and where the bathrooms are located. Johnny has lots of friends at his party and many know each other because they have been at the party for a long time, newer folks get invited in and welcomed. xxxxxxxx

Good analogy except sometimes I am a referee and not a hostess. I have the black eyes from getting in the way of the 2 x 4 swinging to prove it.

We have had this same discussion multiple times in the past...where a newbie comes here and tells us that he/she doesn't like the way the party (or I use the sandbox analogy) is run. The proceeds to tell us why things are run incorrectly and we should change the rules because they don't like the rules. They can't seem to understand that they don't get to make the rules.

It is Johnny's sandbox/party...he gets to allow whatever it is he wants to allow. Yes...sometimes some of the kids in the sandbox/part get into squabbles between themselves and for the most part those are ignored until they get so big it becomes a public brawl with collateral damage. Then someone comes complaining about getting sand in their eyes from the fighting.....a fight that they were a participant in...and expect me to punish just one person that they think started the fight. It always takes more than one person to have a fight happen...always.

Does it sound harsh for me to tell someone that if they don't like the way the sandbox is managed to go find another sandbox to play in....maybe by some people's thinking it does sound harsh but it's a cold fact of life that the truth sometimes does hurt. I am not telling someone to leave when I say those words...I am just saying that maybe they would be happier in a different sandbox because I really can't do much to change this sandbox. There is no way in hell that we can please everyone...and the final fact of life is that the only person that really matters is the owner of the sandbox.

We have many, many forum members here who speak bluntly and to the point. Sometimes what they say comes across harsh or mean spirited and it wasn't intended that way....sometimes it was definitely intended to be a snarky smart ass remark. I see it..I recognize it and sometimes I cringe but cringing is all I can do about it. Johnny has always let the snarky meant to be nasty stuff ...slide. There's that old freedom of speech thing that is a double edged sword. Johnny leans towards preferring no censorship at all...even if it means some people don't like what is said. They get to say something that isn't liked and someone else has the same right to say they don't like what was said. Not usually a big problem unless/until the thread goes so far off topic with the "discussion" between the parties involved that the original intent of the thread gets totally lost.....or the name calling becomes nothing but a cesspool of crap floating around and it's sickening to all who read it. Enough is enough folks...you can only call someone an asshole so many times before it gets really old and you end up being part of the asshole problem and not the asshole solution. It always takes more than one person to have a fight...always. It always takes more than one trollish behavior to derail a thread. Someone just has to feed the trolls and often when they do that they become a troll in the process.

Sometimes I have inadvertently fed the trolls....I think I did that yesterday and didn't mean to. My apologies for that if that is what that happened. The reason I use the Foe list is so that I don't end up feeding trolls by accident because when I get mad...I tend to open my mouth and say things that probably will fall on deaf ears and I ending feeding a troll or creating a troll.
I am human...and I have all the usual human qualities that sometimes are good and sometimes not so good. I am far from perfect...so just bear with me when I lose my temper and become part of the problem and not part of the solution.

After all...you get what you pay for in life...and I am here for free...I get absolutely nothing for being here doing what I do except sometimes some really bad headaches.

[djams]

...but..., if you don't like it here...leave?

Right? I just googled "cpap and sleep apnea forums" and found somewhere between 8 and 10 alternatives on the first two pages of results.

Myself, I like it here.

[Jay Aitchsee]

...but..., if you don't like it here...leave?

Right? I just googled "cpap and sleep apnea forums" and found somewhere between 8 and 10 alternatives on the first two pages of results.

Myself, I like it here.

Right. Me too, but Trolls don't leave until they are ignored

[djams]

...but..., if you don't like it here...leave?

Right? I just googled "cpap and sleep apnea forums" and found somewhere between 8 and 10 alternatives on the first two pages of results.

Myself, I like it here.

Right. Me too, but Trolls don't leave until they are ignored

You're right about trolls, and I bowed out of the other thread after making a post that I'm not proud of, at least not all of it.

BTW - I also googled "define internet troll" this morning, and was reading the very text that you quoted above.

[Pugsy]

You're right about trolls, and I bowed out of the other thread after making a post that I'm not proud of, at least not all of it.

Don't feel bad. We all do it sometimes...that feeding of the trolls. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes inadvertently and we just can't help ourselves sometimes.

And any of us are free to go back and edit any of our responses that we change our minds later and decide that what we said...maybe was best left unsaid. Sometimes I will do that and sometimes I figure what the hell...I have already showed my butt...might as well own up to it. Most of the time someone has already quoted what I said anyway so it's out there for the whole world to see even if I edit my first response.

[Jay Aitchsee]

BTW - I also googled "define internet troll" this morning, and was reading the very text that you quoted above.

Great minds?

[djams]

You're right about trolls, and I bowed out of the other thread after making a post that I'm not proud of, at least not all of it.

Don't feel bad. We all do it sometimes...that feeding of the trolls. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes inadvertently and we just can't help ourselves sometimes.

And any of us are free to go back and edit any of our responses that we change our minds later and decide that what we said...maybe was best left unsaid. Sometimes I will do that and sometimes I figure what the hell...I have already showed my butt...might as well own up to it. Most of the time someone has already quoted what I said anyway so it's out there for the whole world to see even if I edit my first response.

Thanks Pugsy. The way I view it is that I indeed showed my butt(well put). And I'll leave it out there, because it happens once in awhile.

I'm able to sit on work emails that I've written when I'm pissed off. Maybe the forum could add a "save as draft" feature for people like me.

[djams]

BTW - I also googled "define internet troll" this morning, and was reading the very text that you quoted above.

Great minds?

I'd like to think so, but...

[babydinosnoreless]

After all...you get what you pay for in life...and I am here for free...I get absolutely nothing for being here doing what I do except sometimes some really bad headaches.

I wanted to quote this part because I think people don't understand about free forums like this.

Most moderators do not make any money. Moderators are participants who get asked to moderator because they tend to be: a) knowledgeable about the forums topic. AND b) available and willing to put the time involved into it.

Anyway I will quit contributing to your headache for now.

[Goofproof]

Ok so let me see if I understand this correctly. This forum is owned by a guy and he lives here in America. This guy has invited us all over for a wonderful party at his expense. Pugsy is the hostess. She is busy greeting people and showing them where the food is and where the bathrooms are located. Johnny has lots of friends at his party and many know each other because they have been at the party for a long time, newer folks get invited in and welcomed.

Sometimes new folks are overwhelmed by the noise at the party. The way I understand it is you want to turn off the music and change the whole tone of the party because some of the people who come in don't like it.

The thing is this is Johnny's house and Johnny doesn't mind the music up loud. He has not asked his hostess to turn down the music. Since Johnny is paying for the party and its in his house it seems to me that it is his choice and it is quite RUDE of the guests to keep harping at his poor hostess to turn down the music. She has plenty of other duties. It is not helpful or useful to keep bugging her about it.

If you want a party that is quiet and boring then find one. Don't be the boorish party pooper.

Last time I checked Johnny didn't lock the doors after the people got inside, he didn't collect a cover charge, and it's his food everyone is eating. The only think that's missing is a big bowl of Chill Pills by the front door, and some ear plugs. If you have the need for them you could bring your one, or stay at home and watch The Brady Bunch from the 70's. The Real World will keep turning. Jim

[Okie bipap]

And any of us are free to go back and edit any of our responses that we change our minds later and decide that what we said...maybe was best left unsaid. Sometimes I will do that and sometimes I figure what the hell...I have already showed my butt...might as well own up to it. Most of the time someone has already quoted what I said anyway so it's out there for the whole world to see even if I edit my first response.

I have typed many responses that I started to post. Once I read back through them to check for spelling, proper punctuation, etc., I decided it would not add anything of value to the situation and I just delete the entire thing and go back to reading the other posts. However, sometimes I cannot help myself and just have to add fuel to the fire. As has been stated in earlier posts in this thread and other threads, there are multiple CPAP and apnea forums available. If you don't like how this one is ran, you are free to check out the others, hopefully finding one that is more to your liking. Or, as I would have said in my younger days, "Don't let the door hit in the ass on your way out."

[Zokaluse]

I’m on many forums from fun to serious & all of them have rules & also close threads that get out of hand for one reason or another. I’m all for it- I trust the moderators & thank them for all they do (I’ve been one myself so know how time consuming it can be)