They Tell Me I Need This Machine

[Grace~~~]

ckeith ...*you* OWN

&

I think most people have their own style of formatting?
Have you shared your breath shapes snippet here with your friends at cpaptalk?

(breath shapes in Flow Rate are *my* current obsession!)

Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate~~~"?
I'd L VE to see y our ideas of
what you think breath shapes look like. (to *your* E y E) Ya know?

[ckeith]

I thought you said "goodbye"! Why are you still here? Miss us?
.

Thank you, LSAT, for quoting the latest angry, barely intelligible,
mentally disturbed, RANT.Oh, look! --a CRICKET! Yummy!

--


& there be just TWO of the Assholes I complain about
.................. Need more be said of such Stupidity ?

This Abuse because I FORMAT
Even after I leave a compliment & appreciation on the Site
& I'm the guy they censor - go figure ?

They must be a Sports Fans ! - totally diverted & empty trucks
................................. A F#%king team patch & a Fool ass FROG

.

[Gasper62]

More like you foment with your format. Most of the people that could actually give you further help here, won't. Are you happy with that accomplishment ? You enjoy stirring up trouble and being viewed as a mentally unstable jerk ? It seems rather odd that you displayed no such compulsion to dick around with the font features in your earlier posts. Was your affliction of the sudden onset variety perchance ? Sure seems awfully contrived and downright fake to me. A pathetic yearning to be noticed.................

[Gasper62]

I find it Intolerable !

Right now I feel the only place I can start with my New CPAP machine is to jump up and down on it
I am told that I can't sell the thing on ebay -

People who know me say they appreciate me as a nice calm fellow, nice to be around
I have never been one who is susceptible to temper tantrums or Irrational Rage - at least - NOT until now !

I have recently had a heart valve job and I presently suffer from Atrial Fibrillation and so have been prescribed Apixaban, a blood thinner
I have recently been enduring Chronic Insomnia that seemed to be quickly worsening, so the Doctor recommended a sleep study
The diagnosis was a "Severe Sleep Apnea" Oxegen level drops to 78%, and so a CPAP machine was prescribed

I can't stand it ! - The damded thing sends me into a RAGE ! - I can hardly refrain from jumping up and down on the OFFENCE
I can feel the adrenalin surge, Blood Pressure and Heart Rate go through the roof ! - I'll end up in an ambulance to get
Zapped by the Paddles again, in order to DeFib me at this rate!

I can't sleep Now ! - I get about two hours a night - How in HELL can I be expected to sleep with an INVASIVE Appliance
strapped to my head, that is constantly Blowing AIR up my nose ! - NO WAY on God's Blue Marble !!! -
How can anybody adapt to this THING! - I feel myself incapable. It's like asking me to climb a mountain with roller skates on !

It seems so bloody Stupid to me ! - So counter intuitive !!! -
"Here clamp this thing on, let it blow air up your nose - pleasant dreams !" HA HA HA

I sleep on my side and move around a lot - It blows air all over my face - I can't endure for moire than 5 min. Let alone sleep with it !
I have an appointment with the Sleep Specialist - I expect he will recommend a different mask - I am skeptical

I KNOW I need to control this Apnea - I can't see how it is possible with THAT #@*!%^& THING - getting desperate

^^ Exhibit A ^^

[chunkyfrog]

+1000, Gasper
Anger confirmed.
Let us not let this troll bother us.

[Julie]

For the hell of it, CK - do you know how many thousands (?millions) of little old people and small children are on Cpap? And manage to adjust just fine, in fact are so happy they found an answer to their problems, and have gone the mile to make things work? You disgust me with your dramatics and nonsense - get a grip already and take one step at a time... make that work then go on to the next one, and shut up about it while you're doing it. Just come back when you're finally set up and using the machine and stop embarrassing yourself.

[ckeith]

^^ Exhibit A ^^

<< Exhibit B >>

You are NOT paying attention are you mouth Casper ?
I am NOT here to measure to Your nor to anybody else's Standard

When I came here Sept 02 - I was in pretty desperate shape - and had NOT slept anywhere near normal
for about two months - And was suffering from runaway Atrial Fibrillation after my open heart surgery
- a Valve Job - from which I would have to be paddled down. - I was a admittedly a physical wreck and
the sleeplessness was admittedly effecting my stability. Is it any wonder I did not post in what for me,
IS the NORMAL Formatted style to which I am accustomed

You try on those shoes, mouth Casper - & see how they fit ! - see how tolerant you are to Ignorant
narrow minded people who offer only Insult to anything that presents itself as outside of their NORMAL purview


There were those who gave me the help I needed but there were also the CROWS who immediately
....................................................... began to goad me and poke at me with their Insults -
....................................................... "Whinner"- "hopeless angry Troll"- "douchey drama queen" etc

My initial Response:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanking Friends Again - for their Encouragement & Guidance

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Sept 6, with the help I received on this forum, I began to make steady and noticeable progress,
and started to get some broken sleep. And if you'll notice that is when I began to return to my
formatting - I have Formatted like this on various Political Forums where people go looking for a fight
& never have I ran into the kind of Irrational Vitriol that I have run into here on this site
This Site - Where people supposedly come for Help & Healing

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dropped a 1/2 Mogadon & Hooked up to CPAP around 10:40pm
I figured my ear would pop again and I would have to come off

Surprise, SURPRIZE ! - I konked out ! - I actually fell asleep !
Woke up around 12:30am - stuck with it & fell asleep again !!

Woke up again around 1:40am - That was it - No more tonight
Unhooked around 3:30 am

Usage says I had 4:50 hrs - Events say 0.4 - leaks are smiles


Bottom Line - I actually got to sleep on the CPAP for a while !
Actual PROGRESS - I'll get up & read for a couple of hours
................................................... then hook up again

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And with a the return of little normal sleep, I began to return to, what for ME is my NORMAL way of
writing and developing my Ideas & expressing myself. I tried to explain why I Format the way I do but
to no avail. The Attacks upon me just became more Acrimonious

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re Synesthesia - A Blessed Curse - A Cursed Blessing
I will say this & then I will speak no more of it
I will try to find ways to mitigate the bother it causes you

BUT
It is the way I THINK - the way I PERCEIVE
Words are NOT just Words - Sounds are NOT just Sounds
Even Shapes, Size, Intensities, are all pregnant with Felt Meanings

In an unfiltered reality the sensory modalities are Combined
Unitary/Mixed - PARADOXICAL - & they come at you like that -
When I speak or write I can't be trying to filter things out - to be separating them
When I speak the Synesthetic experience is mine - When I write it becomes to some
........................................................................ small extent - HARD COPY

It is One of the reasons -
That whenever I - 'quote' - or post - I have keep the lines Short

I'll tell you this - When I was in school I had one Hell of a time - I got hammered a Lot

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I finally decided Sept 7th, to take some time off from the growing flow Insults and take some time
..................................................................................................................to Heal


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well to bow out as Gracefully as possible.

Heartfelt THANKS to those of you who have offered me your Good Advice, Understanding
........................................................ & some strong measure of your Compassion -

Coming here, I was admittedly fogged & confused with weeks of Insomnia. Allowed only an odd few
hours rest here and there. I saw no Hope that I could ever adapt to CPAP and was very Angry about
........................................................ what was becoming a very Fast devolving situation -

Leaving here - I have had two nights sleep and I am able to tolerate my CPAP machine and have every
hope & chance at recovery - To those who gave me this GIFT - You must know that Iam Grateful
....................................................................................... It has been Saving GRACE

------------------------------------

I am however sorry & saddened that the many here that have take such strong Offence, as to Who I am,
and how I express myself , They take such an Irrational revulsion that they tell me I am deserving of
being defined as their FOE , their Enemy , I am to become - 'the despised pariah ' worthy only to be IGNORED -
Yet where he can be easily Sniped at from behind their button

Indeed they have found me to be SO Offensive to their sensibilities that they have found it appropriate
to subject me to their Abuse, Ridicule & Epithet - Whiner, Drama Queen, Grow a Couple, Pretentious
Girl in Jr High, and even likened to an Alcoholic Blob ! - One deeming himself the Palerider, even choosing to
extend his pointed Ridicule at me while Cowardly hiding behind his FOE button - I cannot help but
take these INSULTS very personally

I know that I am none of these things - I am a person Who for reasons of how I perceive my World, expresses
himself in an Unconventional manner - I do not swear at you - I do not Abuse you - When attacked,
I may parry the blow - What is it that I do to elicit such venomous Opprobrium ?- What is my Crime ?
I format my posts I use Caps, Italics, Underline etc etc

I give notice that I refuse to reciprocate, to their attacks and so quit this place - This is a place where
people seek and FIND help - I know, as I found it here myself -I will not sully this forum with what could
easily become an ongoing Feud & Troll War, full of rhetorical smart Ass rebuttal & counter blow

I tell you this - In most ways I am like anybody else - to a large extent a Person Who is defined by how he
expresses himself, and how he acts upon those expressions. -

I sincerely hope many of these people who thought that they had found an easy MARK come to realize
this FACT and come to comprehend just how it is that they have defined Themselves, by how they have
expressed themselves & acted when presented with something, or someone that does NOT meet with
the MYOPIC standard of their Ordinary -

I hope they come to appreciate human diversity rather than be threatened by it


I am Who I am -
I express myself in the way Ido because of Who & what I am - A Synesthete - I know that I am different -
& believe me & know how that places me into the context of " The Stanger in a Strange Land' and how that
opens me to the blows of the Hammer , spoken in the Japanese Proverb mentioned earlier


I am who I am - And I am glad of Who I am - And I will not allow myself to be demeaned by Irrational
INSULT & Ridicule - I will NOT submit to the measure of their Ruler

I will not stay where I am made to feel so Unwelcome that I am to be defined as FOE &I 'Despised Pariah'
due to that Iact that you feel that I overly Format my posts.


Don't worry - The door will not hit me as I EXIT - & I will shake the dust off my boots as I leave

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feeling renewed after receiving very Real, help form this site - I returned to site Oct 16 when I noticed
that some of the PIGs here who had made my time here so miserable, had chased off yet another
............................................................................................ Newbie with their Insults

My Advice to you -
If a person is so parochial, so stilted, so stiff, so weak, and unsure of himself, so illiterate, so small minded
that he cannot tolerate something that for him is out of the ordinary - If a person does not like how I post
they should then immediately put me on their Foe list Crawl back under their shell and STFUp ! -

& BEWARE & BE AWARE
& if I see any Ignorant Idiots from this site Swarming another Newbie - You can expect me to be there

.

[Gasper62]

Dear God ! How long does it take you to type up a page full of ridiculous bullshit like that ^ ^ ? Nothing better to do with your time ? Off yer psych meds perhaps ?

[ckeith]

ckeith ...*you* OWN

&

I think most people have their own style of formatting?
Have you shared your breath shapes snippet here with your friends at cpaptalk?

(breath shapes in Flow Rate are *my* current obsession!)

Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate~~~"?
I'd L VE to see y our ideas of
what you think breath shapes look like. (to *your* E y E) Ya know?

Query ?
I know nothing of breath shapes nor of Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate ? - What be they ?

I have never been given the use of any software and am still recovering
from the residual effects of the Heart Attacks & the Insomnia

The CPAP machine and the HELP I found here probably saved me - still recovering
Just to bad about the CROWS

.

[Grace~~~]

Query ?
I know nothing of breath shapes nor of Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate ? - What be they ?

I have never been given the use of any software and am still recovering
from the residual effects of the Heart Attacks & the Insomnia

The CPAP machine and the HELP I found here probably saved me - still recovering
Just to bad about the CROWS

.

Hi ckeith.

There is free software called sleepyhead that will show you S MUCH that *I* am certain you will loVe.

~~~charts and graphs of colors and designs all telling you exactly what is going on ... like a code.
... SEEING yourself breathe and dream!
You know you want to!

At the top of the forum, The Brilliant Pugsy gives brilliant tutorial for those with eyes to see and ears to hear.

Y U simply MUST have a goal to get sleepyhead ASAP.

(ASAP is very different from person to person. There is a lot of computer genius around here! Not from *me* though, so I
really can't help in the "How do I get Sleepyhead" questions. But you can search old threads?)

[ckeith]

Dear God ! How long does it take you to type up a page full of ridiculous bullshit like that ^ ^ ?
Nothing better to do with your time ? Off yer psych meds perhaps ?

I'm a fast typist & I know the codes
& it's fun keeping track of the Sizes, Shapes & Colors dancing in my mind bringing just some of them to life
.............................. I do not speak in a Brain Dead monotone - I do not intent to write or dialogue in one

But Why should you care ? - Why should it so bother you ? - That you should feel it necessary to Insult me ?
Is it that you are so weak minded that you are unable to tolerate any thing outside of your Ordinary purview ?

Or is it that you are so bottomed out PAROCHIAL and cannot fathom or appreciate the FACT that everybody
is not an Atavistic Throwback who must challenge his own deeply felt insufficiency's by throwing out Insult ?

The little cartoon you have chosen as your Avatar says a Lot about you Casper You have chosen Well
....................................................................................................Gasp & Choke on that for a while

.

[Gasper62]

Dear God ! How long does it take you to type up a page full of ridiculous bullshit like that ^ ^ ?
Nothing better to do with your time ? Off yer psych meds perhaps ?

I'm a fast typist & I know the codes
& it's fun keeping track of the Sizes, Shapes & Colors dancing in my mind bringing just some of them to life
.............................. I do not speak in a Brain Dead monotone - I do not intent to write or dialogue in one

But Why should you care ? - Why should it so bother you ? - That you should feel it necessary to Insult me ?
Is it that you are so weak minded that you are unable to tolerate any thing outside of your Ordinary purview ?

Or is it that you are so bottomed out PAROCHIAL and cannot fathom or appreciate the FACT that everybody
is not an Atavistic Throwback who must challenge his own deeply felt insufficiency's by throwing out Insult ?

The little cartoon you have chosen as your Avatar says a Lot about you Casper You have chosen Well
....................................................................................................Gasp & Choke on that for a while

.

Not that I intend to impugn your intent, but..... in view of your incorrect spelling and misuse of words ......I have to ask....did you learn (not learn) that in a Parochial School specializing in insufficiencies for the mentally deficient ? Were you a short bus window licker by any chance ? I suspect you were. Off to the Bozo (Foe) List for you, you've become tiresome and much too petty. AMF.

[ckeith]

Not that I intend to impugn your intent, but..... in view of your incorrect spelling and misuse of words ......
I have to ask....did you learn (not learn) that in a Parochial School specializing in insufficiencies for the
mentally deficient ? Were you a short bus window licker by any chance ? I suspect you were.

Off to the Bozo (Foe) List for you, you've become tiresome and much too petty. AMF.

"Were you a short bus window licker by any chance ?" - & this insufficient Clown talks of Pettiness

Firstly :
Well I can admit to being human and committing the odd misspelling in a hastily typed out post - no problem
If the best you can do against me is a spelling error you look even more insufficient & ridiculous that before

Secondly :
Parochial - does not necessarily have anything to do with any kind of School
& given the context in which I used it, it is obvious to any Fool just which dictionary definition was intended in its use

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Webster's
Parochial adj.
3: confined or restricted - limited in range or scope
& Parochialism - the quality of being parochial - selfish pettiness or narrow mindedness
Synonyms:
narrow, close minded, insular, unsophisticated, hidebound, intolerant, bigoted
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the WORD sir, given its proper context & meaning, has been used properly & stands to fit YOU to a tee
............................. Like I previously inferred, you do suffer certain problems with Literacy, do you NOT ?

And glad to see you admit to the insufficiency of your Bully Insults & must succumb to your Cowardice
.............................and are forced to run & hide behind your Button - lest your Foe get to you -

It is much easier to dissect a BUG that is anesthetized by its own parochial Ignorance


.

[Julie]

Guys, enough already... this is a CPAP forum, not a BS forum. If you can't stick to the subject find a forum that suits you better.

[Gasper62]

Guys, enough already... this is a CPAP forum, not a BS forum. If you can't stick to the subject find a forum that suits you better.

Who died and left you the moderator ? Get over yourself, you make a large number of off-topic/off-color comments yourself. Often. Hypocrite much ?