Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

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Slinky
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Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by Slinky » Mon Jul 22, 2013 4:18 pm

Q.. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A.. Ruthless.

Q.. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A.. German shepherds

Q.. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A.. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q.. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible??
A.. Pharoah's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q.. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A.. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the Apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A.. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q.. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why they no longer lived in Eden?
A.. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q.. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible.
A.. Moses. He broke all 10 Commandments at once.

Q.. Which area of the Middle East was especially wealthy?
A.. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q.. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A.. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q.. Which Bible character had no parents?
A.. Joshua, son of Nun

Q.. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A.. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

Q.. Did you know it is a sin for a woman to make coffee?
A.. Yup. Its in the Bible. It says "He-brews".

KEEP SMILING. God loves you bunches and bunches.

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

We'll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we will be new friends.

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kteague
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by kteague » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:30 pm

Most of those were a good chuckle - - - and a few groans.

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SleepDisturbed
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by SleepDisturbed » Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:56 pm

God is a baseball fan. It says so in the Bible. "In the Big Inning."


Jesus Saves! Moses invests.


Don't worry, God loves a good joke. Just check out Congress!

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Slinky
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by Slinky » Tue Jul 23, 2013 7:44 pm

GOOD ones, Disturbed!!

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Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.....on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.
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deerslayer
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by deerslayer » Tue Jul 23, 2013 8:41 pm

WOW Slinky , i haven't heard any of those since the Kornfield county spot on HEE HAW

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Slinky
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by Slinky » Tue Jul 23, 2013 9:50 pm

Yer showin' yer age, Deerslayer!!! By the way, just ate the last of our veniburger tonight. *sigh*

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deerslayer
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by deerslayer » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:03 pm

feelin my age too miss Slinky .The deer are safe from me nowadays. however the tree rats climbin on the bird feeder fear me Take care Girl *

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Stormynights
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by Stormynights » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:41 pm

deerslayer wrote:feelin my age too miss Slinky .The deer are safe from me nowadays. however the tree rats climbin on the bird feeder fear me Take care Girl *
Squirrels are so cute. Don't hurt them.

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Goofproof
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by Goofproof » Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:09 am

deerslayer wrote:feelin my age too miss Slinky .The deer are safe from me nowadays. however the tree rats climbin on the bird feeder fear me Take care Girl *
You are doing it backwards, as we age we need bigger targets not smaller. We don't have to conserve as much ammo, as we don't want to die with live shells left. Jim
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"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." Voltaire
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deerslayer
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Re: Gimme A Little Biblical Humor ...

Post by deerslayer » Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:16 am

Goofproof wrote:
deerslayer wrote:feelin my age too miss Slinky .The deer are safe from me nowadays. however the tree rats climbin on the bird feeder fear me Take care Girl *
You are doing it backwards, as we age we need bigger targets not smaller. We don't have to conserve as much ammo, as we don't want to die with live shells left. Jim
No Problem Jim , Pellet rifle 1,000FPS w/ scope (silent). Gen.Westmorland approved

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