UPDATE ON MIKE'S MEDICAL SITUATION

[DoriC]

I feel like you're all my friends so I'll share some of what's been happening. It's very complicated so forgive me if I omit some medical facts that are either confusing or difficult to speak about. Mike was in the hospital with an acute attack of some auto immune flareup that didn't respond very well to the usual treatments. He was in severe and unremitting pain that required heavy narcotics and other meds that caused electrolyte imbalances and kidney disfunction along with some heart problems. Things did not look good for a few days but he's a tough old bird and with some good doctoring and a few lucky guesses and lots of praying, things turned around. The same day I brought him home(he was supposed to go to rehab but things got screwed up,long story) I collapsed and 911 was called and I went to the ER for exhaustion and dehydration. My best friend and another good neighbor came and took care of Mike until I came home in the morning. My son was in the hospital in NY with his wife who was giving birth to our newest granddaughter at that very moment. Thank God all is well on that front. My daughter lives in CO, my oldest granddaughter is in Paraguay with the Peace Corps and the younger one is a Senior at an upstate college 6hrs away. So that's the good part. Now for the other news...After Mike stabilized and was off oxygen we tried to restart him on his cpap which I brought to the hospital, He totally refused, wants no more part of it, wants to sleep "free" and be done with machines. "Sleep apnea has already done it's damage to me and I gave it over 3 good years and I want my remaining time to be comfortable without anything strapped to my face and I don't want to kill you by waking you up every night with my leaking that I can't fix myself"!!! There was a conference call with my son,the doctors and me and it was a split 50/50 opinion with my son and our long-time family Dr agreeing to let Mike have his way this time since they never saw him so insistent and their feelings were somewhat personal in wanting him to have peace in his remaining time, and the specialists who don't know him making all the claims in favor of cpap and disregarding the toll it's now taking on him and me.

[chunkyfrog]

So sad, Dori.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
I will pray for you and Mike.
Know you are not alone.

[BlackSpinner]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I am so sorry Dori that you are going through this.
Hopefully Mike will see the error of his ways re cpap soon. You probably prefer to wake up and adjust his mask then to wonder and listen to him gasp.
Do take care of your self too.

[Vader]

Very sorry to hear of this, Dori, but thanks for letting us know.

Please know that you and Mike are in my prayers.
God Bless

[SleepingUgly]

So sorry to hear of all these troubles! I'm wishing you both speedy recoveries. Remember that any decision made now about CPAP isn't necessarily a permanent one. He can always go back on in another week or two or whenever, and similarly, he could go on and decide to go off later.

Congrats on your new grandchild!

[sandman19]

Our prayers for both of you1

sandman19

[Starlette]

((Huggs))

[RandyJ]

DoriC,

I'm very sorry to learn how rough it has been for you both lately. Thank you for sharing with us; I will keep you both in my thoughts and wish the best for you both. As SleepingUgly says, Mike could always decide to go back on cpap at any point, and may well decide to do so if he is not sleeping well without it.

That said, if you find that you are waking up just as much because he snores or stops breathing, you might have some leverage to convince him that waking up to adjust his mask for him is not disturbing you any more than his apneas are.

Above all, take care of yourself. You have to be well and healthy in order to care for him. Perhaps since he has just come out of hospital he is eligible for some sort of home healthcare that can give you a hand.

All best,


RandyJ

[sister]

Hi Dori,
So sorry to hear about Mike, I will certainly keep you both in my prayers.May GOD bless you both and hold you close in his arms.

[BrandonB]

I am so sorry to hear of the huge ordeal you've gone through and the continued anguish you are likely feeling right now. I am new to the board Dori, but I do wish the best for you and Mike and will keep him, you, and your familiar in my prayers.

As another poster suggested, maybe in another week after he's calmed down, you may be able to convince him otherwise.

[SleepingUgly]

I'm not of the mindset that CPAP is mandatory. I think you have to make a decision at some point about quality of life for both of you. If the quality of both of your lives is better with him ON CPAP, that's important. But if it's not, that's important too. Right now you both need rest!!

[redjoe]

Dori,

Your story reminds me so much of what my parents went through, but I can't pretend to understand the anguish you must feel at watching Mike suffer. Your love for him has always been so clear. I know your focus is so strongly on him, but please do your best to take care of yourself, so you can be there for Mike. Know that I will pray for you both.

Joe

[nanwilson]

Oh Dori, I so feel for you. Mine along with everyone else's prayers and thoughts are still with you no matter what you and Mike have to go through. Things will urn around and all will be well soon.......all these prayers have GOT to do some good. We are not the only ones who are wishing good things for you...someone up there is looking down on you and passing on blessings for better days.
Chin up!!!!!
Nan

[jnk]

I'm not of the mindset that CPAP is mandatory. I think you have to make a decision at some point about quality of life for both of you. If the quality of both of your lives is better with him ON CPAP, that's important. But if it's not, that's important too. Right now you both need rest!!

+1

[cflame1]

remember to look after you too Dori... don't ever forget that.