How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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retrodave15
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How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by retrodave15 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:44 am

I have a question for the group. I need some help convince my dad who is 77 to get a sleep study. He has all classic symptoms of sleep apnea, I especially notice it when he falls asleep in his recliner. When I have talked to him about this he gives me the response that I am too old and I am running out of time and don't have time for this. I think he is running full steam up the river of denial but my mom and I don't know how to change his course.

Thanks

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by GumbyCT » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:02 am

retrodave15 wrote:I have a question for the group. I need some help convince my dad who is 77 to get a sleep study. He has all classic symptoms of sleep apnea, I especially notice it when he falls asleep in his recliner. When I have talked to him about this he gives me the response that I am too old and I am running out of time and don't have time for this. I think he is running full steam up the river of denial but my mom and I don't know how to change his course.

Thanks
He is no doubt in denial. I ran into this w/my dad too. I don't have any easy answers, only to say Imagine how you would feel when someone tells you after 77 yrs, you aren't sleeping? Folks from his time didn't do this. They died of natural causes, etc.

Even IF he goes to the sleep study, who will make him wear the mask each nite? If you go to the docs with him you can start there. Esp. IF he likes the doc.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by Mary Z » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:06 am

Oh gosh, if we knew the answer to that question would we be in good shape! The point made that even if you got him to take a sleep test and he got a CPAP, would he use it is a good one. Got any thing you can trade him for? You stop some habit he dislikes if he'll see the doc.
Good luck.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by nanwilson » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:38 am

Don't keep at him, he has made it to 77 with having osa for YEARS......right. You have given him the best info that you can, both you and your lovely wife have osa and are doing better, he can see that, so leave him be. He may swim out of the river of denial or he may not that's his descision to make. Yes he would have a better life if he has osa and was treated, but we are a stubborn bunch of seniors that need to make our own descisions and live with them. I'm in that category too, my mom is 88 but has dementia and does have osa I'm sure....but would I push another health problem at her........no never.
I hope he does swim out and join you on the hose but let him decide if that's the path he wishes to choose.
Good luck
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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by archangle » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:46 am

If talking about the risk of death doesn't work, maybe you can convince him that he'll feel better with CPAP. More energy, less sleepiness.

Or if he's a dirty old man like me, maybe the impotence aspect might help.

Being able to stay out of the nursing home longer might be a good argument, too.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by chunkyfrog » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:58 am

--or ask him what style of Depends he wants for after the stroke.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by retrodave15 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:06 am

Thanks all, I have planted a few seeds with my mom, and hopefully she will nag him into it, as even my dad say's "She is the one who must be obeyed"

I just worry that he is going to fall asleep while driving the 30' Motor-home while towing a Toyota on his way back from Yuma. I do know that he had delegated a lot of the driving to my mom, but she is 74 and has more metal in her than the Terminator.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by DrPepper00 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:15 am

Have you tried the video of his sleep? Or showing him the youtube videos? Scary stuff. My dad passed away in '95. I am sure he had SA. My Mom said for years that he stopped breathing in his sleep and then started gasping. But SA and the treatment weren't so well known then.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by Sheriff Buford » Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:53 am

This topic has always interested me... I have tried everything I can to get my wife to take a sleep study.... with no avail....

Sheriff

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by Paul56 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:23 pm

retrodave15 wrote:...I am too old and I am running out of time and don't have time for this.
He certainly is running out of time... but not in the way he thinks. He may be shortening
his own time by being in denial or refusing to believe there may be a sleep issue.

Take the family approach and ask him to at least get this done for the family who wants
him to be around for a long time if he won't do it for himself. Very hard to deny those you
love when the approach is done in that manner.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by SS343 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:33 pm

Tell him that it has been reported (by me) that cpap promotes Rem sleep that results in dreams of cavorting with willing desireable women with no drama. Worked for me.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by avi123 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:08 pm

I would arrange for him to take the sleep study at home.

This company would do it for less than $300:

http://www.instantdiagnostic.com/ids/

And this one would do it for $285:

http://www.1stlinemedical.com/uploads/4 ... ochure.pdf

"If you were to pay for this out-of-pocket, a fee of $195 would be incurred for the screening (yielding a result of negative or positive). If the screening were returned as negative, your responsibility would remain at $195. If the screening proves to be positive and the physician would like further detail on your condition, that would incur an additional $90 fee for the interpretation of the positive result."

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by mcat » Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:42 pm

I'd suggest you make it very easy for your Dad to read this Board, who knows what he might learn on his own?

I am your Dad's age and became convinced I must get tested for Apnea after another miserable sleepy drive home in my beloved motorhome. Time after time had to get off the road to sleep a bit, then back on the highway to immediate nodding off. That, combined with waking up shaky and terrified wondering if I'd heard something, plus dreaming of an urgent need to find a bathroom and having some close calls in the process.....I'll tell you when I called my doctor for the test I was ready for some help! That was two years ago. The morning after my at home sleep study I woke to a rested alive feeling I'd not experienced in a long time and realized I'd not been to the bathroom even once, and no panic dreams about it either. It has only gotten better.


I'm just home from a week long driving trip with NO sleepy driving. NONE. So I can look forward to more travel in my future as well as the enjoyment of my days however many they be......
What a blessing is my cpap machine and this board.

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by jazzer4 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:03 pm

This is a letter I just wrote to my sister. She lives in PA and in live in TX. We're very close. I'm waiting for her answer.

I'm sending this warning to you at the risk of our wonderful friendship and sisterhood.
I just love you too much to watch this happening to you. You still have so much life in you and your too strong and it's not your time.

If you do nothing about this I'm going to fly out there and literally take you to a sleep doctor.

Here it is.
I'm petrified your going to have a stroke. A stroke can make you blind or deft or paralyze you or part of you.
Sleep Apnea is not only about not getting sleep (the right kind of sleep) it's also about the affects on your body and your brain. Every part of your body and all functions of your brain. It's hard to see what's happening to you on the inside but eventually it shows up on the outside. Your body and mind are screaming. Am I the only one who is hearing it???
Is everyone too close to you to notice? Your scaring me to death.

When your at the point in Sleep Apnea you are now your mind is distorted and you can't see the forest from the trees. I know, I was there. Your NOT seeing what I see.
Just when you really need your brain to see what's wrong it's not working well enough from lack of oxygen to figure it out.

Notice I've been calling you a lot lately?
I see you about at your breaking point for handling stress. Apnea does this and your right there, right now.

Yes, you've had tons of stuff going on in the last 3 years. I'm not at all trying to diminish that. Please believe me I know it's been hell for you.
I don't want to put something else on your plate. Please believe me....I don't, I don't, I don't. But I see you're wanting things to be better, you're optimistic and I say to you it won't get better (life won't get better for you) and God forbid it could get worse...if you don't treat your Apnea. Believe me it will be one thing after the other...if not physically than mentally. You won't be getting "better".

Right now in recovery you need all the stress handling skill you have. But now because of your Apnea you have very little coping ability. You're doing a great job of hiding what's going on right now. But you can't fool me as I know you better than anyone else.
I hear it when I'm taking to you. And I've been there to see it. And I've been through it myself.
I know, even if you don't realize it in yourself, what it takes to muster up the strength to fool everyone. I see you putting on a brave face. I see your pushing yourself to gather enough physical self and mental self to make it through the day. I see it. You may just be too groggy to see it yourself as Apnea does that. But you're not repairing when your sleeping so it's a constant buildup of damage and stress. It makes it so very hard to cope with all the stuff your already going through. It really does, and right now you need all the repair you can get.


Right now your having to use so much physical and mental energy to get through your day. And that will improve soooo much if you would just get yourself out of denial and go to the dr. about this. YOU NEED TO TELL THE DOCTOR YOU WANT A SLEEP STUDY.

I know there is a chance this note will go right in the trash....don't make me have to come out there!!!!

You've had a lousy few years...I know that but let's get your Apnea better than you can REALLY repair and go on with all the best parts of your life that you love.

I love you way too much to ignore this subject. If I didn't love you so much I would just mention this and if you do something about it fine, if not oh well.
But I can't do that with you. I just love you so much. If either of us die well that is what life is about...but a stroke...how could I deal with that when I know I didn't insist that you go for a sleep study knowing what I know and seeing what I see????

I do understand that you don't want to "add" something else to your list of ills.
I really do understand that.
But what you don't understand is that getting on an apnea machine right now will help you with EVERYTHING that is going on. Everything!!! It's one more thing yes, but for you right now it's the best thing that could ever happen to you. It's not another minus but a huge plus.
I guarantee you....your life will change for the better in so many ways.

I need my sister back!!!!! And I don't know if I can bring her back from a stroke, probably not, but from Sleep Apnea yes...I can do that and by God I'm trying!!


January 15th

So I wrote this note days ago and just kept it on the computer to look at each day.
I wanted to "be very sure" it was worth the risk to send it.
There is no one else in this world that knows and loves you the same sister way I do.

If you get mad at me for this letter than I'm going to have to come out there and fix this myself. I love you enough to risk sending it, so here it is.

P.S. I let Rich read this letter. This is what he said.
This is a lot of words.
If I was telling this to a man this is what I would say
Hey, you have sleep apnea. I can tell because you fell asleep the other night
while I was talking to you on the phone.
Get it fixed. LOL

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Re: How do you convince a 77 year old to have a sleep study?

Post by retrodave15 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:21 pm

@jazzer4

This is almost the same conversation had with my wife, but ours was face to face. She was in the hospital for the 2nd time this year for a hypertensive crisis. Two weeks later I was on the receiving end with me laying in a hospital bed waiting to have a heart cath. At that point we made a pact to both follow our respective doctors orders, handle our stress, and get sleep studies.

Fast forward to today, we have both been on CPAP for two months, feeling better and getting on with our life.

Now my dad has seen that we are doing better and has asked some questions, unfortunately he is in Yuma, AZ as they are snowbirds and head west every winter. When they get back in Ohio I hope the few seeds I have planted have sprouted and grown.

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