How to get over CPAP psychological block?

[Matty332]

G'day,

I suffer from OSA due to obesety that was probably caused by medication I was taking to treat OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, pls see wiki). I work as an Electrician and my job is quite hectic, I was noticing I was starting to feel like a total zombie at work. Driving around town and feeling like I wasn't driving, feeling half conscious and in a dream - scary stuff. Anyways I started to put two and two together and realized that the OSA was exasperating my OCD and anxiety. I was diagnosed with OSA about 1 year ago but was too scared to even try a CPAP. So yesterday, I went out and bought a CPAP machine. It is a ResMed fully auto, I choose that model because I was 300kms away from my home in Sydney a week ago visiting my grandparents and I spotted the ResMed factory - modern, huge amazing facility.

It was half the battle buying one but now the other half is using it - as my OCD is flaring up and attempting to prevent me from using it - negative obsessions and death threats spring to mind when I think about using it. I know that the OCD obsessions are mostly BS but they are so bloody convincing and uncomfortable.

Has anyone else had to deal with a psychological block to using a CPAP? How did you get through it? Also, I am 33yo, is CPAP common at my age?

[cowlypso]

I'm 30. OSA is not as common in younger people, but it does happen!

The usual suggestion is to wear the mask with the machine running while you are awake and doing something else (watching tv, reading, doing a crossword puzzle, etc.). That way, you can desensitize yourself without the stress of trying to fall asleep.

Can you identify what, specifically, is bothering you about using CPAP? If you can break it down to something specific, it will be easier to figure out a workaround.

If you haven't actually tried it yet, can you at least give it a try, and see if that clarifies things for you? You don't even have to strap the mask onto your face - just hold it up to your face and turn on the machine. Or, if it helps, turn on the machine and then hold the mask up to your face. If your prescribed pressure is high, you might start out with a setting of 8 or so just to test things out before raising it to your actual pressure.

[ameriken]

Has anyone else had to deal with a psychological block to using a CPAP? How did you get through it? Also, I am 33yo, is CPAP common at my age?

I think it's quite normal to feel a psychological block to using cpap, since it is not natural to wear a mask that's forcing air into your lungs while you sleep. I felt claustophobic during the sleep study titration, but I told myself to deal with reality, and not with unjustified fear. I told myself that the claustrophobia was all in my head and no one ever died from cpap.

As for age, one of the fisherman from Discovery's "Deadliest Catch" died last year (I think last year) from sleep apnea, he was about your age. I believe he had a mask and machine but wasn't using it (could be wrong about that).

Let me say that most of the deaths that are related to CPAP are people who have the machine, but die when the machine and mask were next to the bed in the 'off' position.

So if you are to be psychologically afraid of it, you should really be afraid of sleeping without it. That's my biggest fear...falling asleep when I'm not wearing it and dying because my heart gave out while suffocating during an apnea.

So, it's really about what you choose to be afraid of. CPAP is life. Not wearing CPAP is a slow and silent death. Which should you be more afraid of?

[RocketGirl]

I was grateful to get a diagnosis (finally to know what was wrong and what to do about it), excited and eager to get my machine, but I still approached this alien thing with fear and trepidation. I was also afraid that the longer I waited, the bigger the fear would get, so I gave myself three days with the promise that I'd use it then. Three days to clear a few other things off my plate to minimize other stressors, and the same three days to time it so that I would start on a Friday night (in case the first night or two was rough, I didn't want the added pressure of having to get up at a set time to go to work).

Day 1, I read the manual.

Day 2, I set the machine up and bought distilled water.

Day 3, I went a-googling and found this place

Friday night came and although there was a little fear and a temptation to put it off, I had promised, so I kept my promise and used it. That first time, it took me about 45 minutes to fill the water tank, preheat the water, fiddle with the mask in my hands, and then fiddle with it on my face. (Imagine my surprise when the machine sensed my breath and started up all by itself...)

Slept like a baby for the first time in, oh, decades, and that was the end of the worries. Everyone's different, but for me, giving myself a set time to start and a few days to ease into the mechanics of it helped tremendously.

[Matty332]

Thanks Cowlypso, Ameriken and Rocketgirl for the advice! I think I shall give it a whirl tonight. @Ameriken Thanks for the advice - you have given me scarier information than my OCD can so I shall give the machine a go.

I have another question - is it better to use distilled water in the machine rather than tap water? And, should I install a UPS (uninterruptable power supply) in my house in case of blackout? I live in Canberra Australia and the electricity supply is good - very rare to get a blackout, maybe once a year lasting for less than an hour. I am an electrician and I have toyed with the idea of either a dedicated UPS feeding a special single power point in the bedroom or a hard wired generator installed in the backyard with auto switchover in case of blackout. Although I am told that the CPAP is not life support just sleep aid so if the power goes out you simply breath through the fail safe in the mask right? You are not dependent upon it to live once using it?

[woodenbuick]

Of course you can do it my way... I had a lung biopsy and the first night I was in the hospital my alarms kept going off for low o2 levels. The respiratory technician brought a cpap machine and mask in an slapped it on me. Shortly after I got a shot of morphine. I could care less about anything that was happening for 3 - 4 hours. Next day they told me I had apnea and sent me for a sleep study. I was found that I had an AHI of well over 100 and I got a machine and mask to take home with me. The pulmonologist I go to said either use it or we will find you dead in your bed.
First night was hard, Vicodin that I was taking for my lungs helped get me used to it for a the next week and after that wore off I was used to it.
Now its been a month, my lungs are getting better, they know what I have (besides apnea) and I got a good data capable machine. I watch my numbers and am now below 2 most nights.
Not the best way of getting into it, but my wife had been telling me I need to do this and I had no intention ever of doing this. Closterphobia and irrational fears kept me away.
Now I still sleep like crap but I get a good solid 3 -4 hours most night and it is going up.

[RocketGirl]

Regarding distilled or tap water, both have their advocates. I started out using distilled because my town's tap water is very heavily dosed with chloramine and contains disinfection byproducts like trihalomethanes, and I didn't want to breathe that in. If you use tap water that is highly mineralized or highly treated, you might need to clean your tank with vinegar more often to get rid of deposits. With distilled water, that isn't as much of an issue. It seems to come down to personal preference and the character of your water supply.

[Matty332]

Thanks for the advice Rocketgirl, the tap water here in Canberra is probably the best in the world. You can put your head under the tap and just drink and drink, it is the purist most refreshing water you can imagine. It is a shame that the city can be a bit sterile at times though LOL.

[cowlypso]

Even if your tap water is clean and tastes great, it may still contain minerals which will deposit in your humidifier chamber. Distilled water does not contain minerals, and won't cause any buildups in the chamber.

There's no real need to install a backup power supply unless you want to. You are correct that there are mechanisms built in to prevent you from suffocating if the power goes out. If you're using a nasal only mask, then you would open your mouth if you weren't able to get enough air through your nose. If you're using a full face mask, then there's an anti-asphyxiation valve built into the mask that will open if the machine shuts down. If you want to do it, go for it, but it's not necessary for safety. And if you rarely lose power, it might not be worth the effort.

[GumbyCT]

Thanks for the advice Rocketgirl, the tap water here in Canberra is probably the best in the world. You can put your head under the tap and just drink and drink, it is the purist most refreshing water you can imagine. It is a shame that the city can be a bit sterile at times though LOL.

I am sure the water still contains minerals which will leave a deposit. Do you recall how much you paid for this humidifier? O doesn't matter but with distilled you will save countless hours cleaning the minerals from the tank. It is, in fact, the only way around it.

obtw - I wouldn't yet worry about installing a dedicated circuit. 1st you have to use it before you will ever miss it. And to me battery power is so much easier.

[ameriken]

I use distilled as well, I don't have to worry about crap-in-the-tap or the infamous pink scum that I've read about building up in the tank (search the forum for pink scum). Cleaning is a cinch, I'm lucky if I remember to soak it once every 4 or 5 weeks with 2 water to 1 vinegar and never have a problem with mold, scum, minerals, or anything. I think I may spend a max of $1.60 a month on distilled water, so cost is not an issue.

[avi123]

I have been CPAPing for a year and can't figure out what OCD has to do with starting CPAPing. Is it possible that you mean claustrophobic and not OCD? In any case, get this book which will tell you how to do it step by step:

Sound Sleep, Sound Mind: 7 Keys to Sleeping Through the Night

by Dr Barry Krakow

[Elle]

I think if the OP is taking medication for OCD it's probably been diagnosed but it does sound too like the OP has a good handle on his condition and I think a good attitude for starting in spite of fears.

I have the opposite problem. I feel fear and anxiety if I don't have my machine. If I wake up with problems with my mask I immediately fear that I won't be able to go back to sleep if I don't get things working because I fear the oxygen starvation. I was in the hospital for 4 days without it (had ended up in emerg with diverticulitis and they kept me and I had no one to go pick up my machine. I woke up every morning with blue lips. I had worn the pulse ox but took it off because the constant alarming was waking me up).

It really does feel like a lifeline and I hope you will come to see it as that. Glad you found this great source of info.

Let us know how you did.

[snoozysue]

Hi, even with our great water supply I still use distilled water.
Also you are eligible for a small rebate on electricity account if you apply.

[archangle]

Matty, do you have an S9 AutoSet machine? Please fill in your profile. See the link in my signature line.

If you have an S8 autoset, do not run it off of a UPS, inverter, or even a generator. A lot of these generate modified sine wave outputs and may damage the humidifier.

I've heard distilled water is more difficult to get in Australia than in the US. If you use tap water, you'll have more crud build up in your tank. It may need cleaning more often. You might find you need to replace it more often. If so, figure out how much it costs to replace the water tank, and how often you need to replace it and make a decision about whether it's worthwhile to get distilled water.

The crud in the water tank may be disgusting and/or smelly. There's some theoretical risk of bacteria growing in there, but it's probably not really a problem unless you don't clean it regularly.