HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way,
cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Rinse off.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
and make the woo-woo sound again.
Leave wet towel on the bed.
OT: How to shower like a man or woman
6 posts
• Page 1 of 1
OT: How to shower like a man or woman
Thinking of quitting CPAP?
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
Re: OT: How to shower like a man or woman
So true!
Diagnosed 9/4/07
Sleep Study Titrated to 19 cm H2O
Rotating between Activa and Softgel
11/2/07 RemStar M Series Auto with AFlex 14-17
10/17/08 BiPAP Auto SV 13/13-23, BPM Auto, AHI avg <1
Sleep Study Titrated to 19 cm H2O
Rotating between Activa and Softgel
11/2/07 RemStar M Series Auto with AFlex 14-17
10/17/08 BiPAP Auto SV 13/13-23, BPM Auto, AHI avg <1
Re: OT: How to shower like a man or woman
Apparently, despite considerable evidence, I'm not a man. I should work on that.
Resmed AutoSet S9 with H5i humidifier/Swift FX mask/ Climateline hose/ http://www.rajlessons.com/
-
Slartybartfast
- Posts: 1633
- Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:34 pm
Re: OT: How to shower like a man or woman
Gotta ban that dude. He just published our secrets on an internet forum.
6 posts
• Page 1 of 1