Hatin on the Facehugger - feel Apnea is self-inflicted

[McSnoresalot]

Day 8 - made it from 10:30 - 4:20 without waking up (that I remember) - woohoo - to celebrate I yanked off the Facehugger and slept the last hour on my stomache - Nirvana!

Apnea & the machine sucks - I'll stick it out because between the two, Apnea is worse, but damn, feel like if I hadn't gotten older and fatter these last 10 years maybe I could have avoided having to use one.

I graduated highschool 6' tall and maybe 165lbs, for the next 20 years, I never got much over 175-180 lbs, - That said, over the last ten years I've managed to balloon up to 195 - even been close to the dreaded 200 mark. Could blame it on aging metabolism, but like my Dr. said - our metabloism does not slow down as we age, weslow down as we age.

I hate the freaking treadmill with a passion, roadwork is ok, but crappy weather and busy schedule makes that easy to skip. The bowflex makes a great coat rack most of the time and sticking to some sort of diet that doesn't include alchohol (lot of calories) and food that tastes good (read: sugar, fat & calories) has been tough.

I think that maybe being forced on to one of these machines might be a good source of motivation to get back down to fighting weight - especially since getting fat may contribute to having Apnea to begin with.

Mac

[SleepyT]

...Apnea & the machine sucks - I'll stick it out because between the two, Apnea is worse, but damn, feel like if I hadn't gotten older and fatter these last 10 years maybe I could have avoided having to use one....

or maybe not. the current wisdom is apnea may have made you gain weight....and not necessarily did weight gain give you apnea. hard to tell which came first! at any rate, no need to beat yourself up. just try to accept the cards you've been dealt (no easy feat!)...and see if you can embrace your cpap machine...rather than hate it. my 2 cents...

[BlackSpinner]

Yep. Don't hate the machine. Embrace it. The "fault" lies not with the machine, it is helping you to get your life back. The "fault" lies with the fact that you have a human body with a certain age and experience.
The cpap machine is no different then a car or computer, all of them allow you to do what your body/mind cannot do on its own, like run at 60 mph, communicate over long distances or breath at night.

[billbolton]

I think that maybe being forced on to one of these machines....

The first thing you need to do is get past your various could-have/would-have/should-have denials before you are going to make any real progress with your weight or CPAP treatment.

Cheers,

Bill

[2flamingos]

Mac,

Timing of some events seems similar to mine - kinda. I was 6'-1 and 130 when I graduated High School. Hit 160's in my 30's-early 40's, then gradually crept up to around 190 in early 50's (now holding right around 200). Dx'ed with OSA at 51. 2 and a ahlf years on Xpap, and my weight is the same, but I am FINALLY getting some rest.

The thing is that my partner had been telling me for years (and many, many lbs) that I stopped breathing while I slept. For me, the apnea started way before the weight gain. I think that if I had been diagnosed earlier, I may not have gained as much and become as sedentery.

Keep on using, it is worth it.

Rick

[robysue]

Apnea & the machine sucks - I'll stick it out because between the two, Apnea is worse, but damn, feel like if I hadn't gotten older and fatter these last 10 years maybe I could have avoided having to use one.

And some of of us wind up with apnea even though as we get older, we DON'T get fatter. When I graduated high school, I was 5' 1" and weighed between 105 and 110 lbs. I'm still 5' 1" and weigh about 103 lbs today. I've weighed between 100 and 110 my entire my adult life---except when I was pregnant with my kids.

Here's something for you to think about: While there is a well established statistical correlation between being overweight and an increased risk of being diagnosed with sleep apnea, the connection between the two is far more complex and which direction the causation goes is not yet clear: Does weight gain cause the apnea? Or does the apnea cause the weight gain? Or is it a bit of both? There is evidence that in many overweight apnea patients, the apnea may have triggered the change in metabolism that either lead to the weight gain or at least made it much more difficult to shed the excess weight once it was put on.

[DocWeezy]

Here's another bright spot: As you stay on xPAP therapy and start to feel better--exercise and moving becomes fun again! What used to be tedious often turns into plain delight.

I love biking, and for the past several years have had to FORCE myself to get out with hubby and do the rides. Very rarely did I have a day where I didn't start out really forcing myself. But this past week the effects of my APAP are finally kicking in, and yesterday's ride was spectacular. It seemed like I was flying with no effort at all. And that is just a few days after getting over a nasty nasty cold.

Apnea and weight ARE intertwined, as others have said. So is avoiding exercise. Who wants to exercise when you're exhausted at a deep level?

To echo so many others: there is no point in beating yourself up. Chances are the apnea caused or contributed to the weight gain, not the other way around. Get over the past and JUST USE IT. EVERY NIGHT. ALL NIGHT. It may take you a while to get used to it, but you will. Then the day will come when you realize that you simply will not let yourself sleep without the mask on. Life just gets better from there.

Weezy

[kteague]

Your name for your mask got me thinking - about hugs. Some hugs are light and insincere and leave a lot to be desired. Others are bone crushing and suffocating. Then there are the hugs that are just right, they make you feel good inside and make your day better. May Facehugger soon become a term of endearment for you.

[Ladyexecnc]

I am a true example of sleep deprivation causing weight gain resulting in severe apnea. Several years ago I began a new job which started much earlier in the morning than my previous jobs hours. Unfortunately I did not make needed adjustments in my sleep schedule by going to bed earlier. I didn't realize I was becoming overly tired, nor did I realize that my increasing appetite was most likely associated with not getting enough sleep. I gained about 40 pounds in 3 years and became so exhausted that I would fall asleep in meetings or as soon as I sat down at my desk. I finally pursued a sleep study and was told that my sleep apnea was in a life threatening level. ( other side affects were also progressing at the time such as high blood pressure, headaches and muscle weakness).

Like this poster I HATED cpap when I first started. It took forever to find a mask that fit properly and for me to actually sleep for any length of time. But, slowly I adjusted and within a few months I was sleeping through most of the night with minimal mask adjustments or wakening.

That was two years ago. Today, I wouldn't dream of going to sleep without the cpap. I sleep soundly through the night, awake rested and have amazing energy through the day. AND, I have now lost all 40 pounds that I gained prior to starting cpap. I have a quality life now. Several years ago I was cautioned that without cpap I would most likely have a heart attack and serious complications within a short time.

If cpap saves lives, perhaps it isn't so bad after all. Hang in there...this DOES get easier and you will feel so much better!

[McSnoresalot]

Appreciate all the encouraging words of support - this is a great resource.

For the record: Pretty sure I wil always hate the Facehugger - seems like a sign of weakness or something (I get that Apnea is not one of those things you can rub dirt on and "walk it off") That said, there is not a chance I will stop using it - Momma didn't raise no fools, Doc says use it or die, I'll be using it, thank you.

Like my Uncle Jack used to say: A fool and his money is someone you want to invite to the poker game - I may not be overly fond of Facehugger, but I want it around

Mac

[sydneybird]

Ditto what Weezy said. After a couple of weeks of CPAP therapy you will regain that desire to exercise and adjust your diet. That Bowflex is not going to look so daunting as it did before. You are going to start to want that body you see in the Bowflex commercials. I started exercising again (mini trampoline and resistance bands, one snapped on me today of old age due to sitting around not used for four years, or could it be that Denise Austin bands are junk to begin with?) and back on track with 20 gm of carbs a day (Atkins; instead of sugar, think bacon) and the weight is coming off. There may be setbacks along the way, on Tuesday after 30 minutes of aerobics on the trampoline I took a two hour nap, so my body is still in recovery mode. At least I feel like doing it and I'm looking into buying new bands, either Lifeline USA TNT or Bodylastics.

Good luck

[bradb]

Gees, this is such a negative tone I noticed in your post. I can understand... it's not been cheap, or rosy, going down this road. Whether the road means getting old, dealing with health problems, or specifically CPAP treatment, I'll leave it up to you. But I'm glad you're venting here. I hope venting lets you leave that negativity behind and look forward to possibility: feeling better, less depressed, more energetic, less forgetful, healthier blood pressure, restful and peaceful nights of sleep. And from there you can try again with your pursuits to build muscle and lose fat and feel better. I know you are able! Go for it!

[Lizistired]

...I hate the freaking treadmill with a passion, roadwork is ok, but crappy weather and busy schedule makes that easy to skip. The bowflex makes a great coat rack most of the time and sticking to some sort of diet that doesn't include alchohol (lot of calories) and food that tastes good (read: sugar, fat & calories) has been tough.

I think that maybe being forced on to one of these machines might be a good source of motivation to get back down to fighting weight - especially since getting fat may contribute to having Apnea to begin with.

Mac

Search for "Gary Taubes" on youtube.com. Listen to his presentation, I think it is 7 parts but but well worth the time. See if it changes you attitude about diet and exercise.

[Big S]

I haven't had anything hug me this hard since my youngest was a small child. I think you should hug it back.

[bayourest]

why dont you check into those special pillows that make it easier to sleep with your mask on? If you sleep on your stomach and the mask interferes that could not be helping your attitude. I am sure that you could find a link or info in the archives here. That is where I heard that they even exist. I am ok with a regular pillow so I did not keep track of the links but this could help you a lot. I would suggest posting a request for info about the pilows for cpap.