Mask Dos and Don’ts

[mikemoran]

I have spent a lot on masks and have been seeking ways to maximize my return on my dollar. While our sleep disorder doesn’t qualify us for handicap parking it does seem to get some accommodations that are to our advantage. In fact it proves effective in quite a few situations. I thought I would pass on the results of my experimentations.

Do – Wear your mask if you want to move to the front of the line. I find that people just want to be helpful and are more than willing to step aside for you. Just make sure you tuck the hose into an inside pocket or people will just think you are weird. This has been useful at the grocery store, movie theater and surprisingly the DMV (while it saved 30 minutes in line it won’t make the clerks move any faster).

Don’t – Wear it to cut down on waiting in bank lines. For some reason the police would not accept my prescription in lieu of bail money.

Do – Use it during business presentations. It is even more effective than sock puppets for grabbing their attention.

Don’t – Hook it up to your CPAP during such presentations. While the voice modification makes sure they hang on every word, mask leaks can be embarrassing and there are no dogs to blame it on.

Do – Wear it for eating at fancy restaurants. It not only speeds up service but in most instances will garner you a private dining room.

Don’t – Use it in fast food restaurants. They see so many strange people that they won’t even notice. However, it has resulted in a multitude of job offers.

Do – Makes sure you set up the whole system when in a parent teacher conference. The teachers seem to immediately understand why your children might not be doing so well or acting up in class.

Don’t – Wear it to PTA meetings. Everyone is under the misconception that you have plenty of spare time and you get to chair everything.

Do – Put it on for employee evaluations. The look of respect an awe you get from them is priceless. This is in addition to the fact that they don’t want to stay in your office to argue any negative feedback.

Don’t – Wear it to your own evaluation. The boss was laughing so hard I wasn’t sure if I was promoted or fired. It wasn’t until I moved into my new three stall office that I knew I was still rising up that corporate ladder.

[ozij]

It's so kind of you to share the results of you experiments!


O.

[dsg]

(carefully keeping notes....fancy restaurant yes, fast food no. Got it.)

[Teej813]

HAHAHA.. good stuff, Mike.



tj

[PEELS]

Mike, Thanks for the humorous side of CPAP therapy. Sometimes we need every little bit we can get. Of course if you brought the mask along with the machine to a ball game and filled the humidifier tank with some beer you could enjoy the game that much more.

As for sock puppets - hadn't thought of those at a business presentation. Now if they had their own masks ...

[slumberer]

My FFM seems to whistle out the exhause ports. Anyone with similar annoying sounds from these holes?

[mikemoran]

And no lines for the bathroom Peels LOL