I have hit a wall

[ChelseaChestnut]

So I started using my machine the end of October. I have gone through 4 different masks to finally settle on one a few weeks ago. Since then, I have been able to sleep with my machine longer and longer. I thought I had finally gotten the hang of this when I hit a will. I have absolutely dreaded putting on that mask for the past 2 nights, and really don't want to tonight either. For the past week or so, my ahi's have been going up. I only get averages on my machine. For the first few weeks, they were below 5, now they are up to 18. I have been fighting a minor head cold and thought that might be contributing to how tired and off I feel. I have also a horrible looking sore on the back of my throat that is making it hurt.

Not sure if this is contributing to my dread, but on Monday night I woke up with an upset stomach and ended up having a mild anxiety attack. I called in sick to work that day. I work at my daughter's school and got a horrible phone call that afternoon that she had poked a kid in the hand with her pencil because he had been making fun of her. The rest of my day was pretty horrible. I have not been able to get out of this horrible emotional mood since then.
Thanks for letting me vent.

[Laurie1041]

I have found CPAP to be a pretty significant life event. Getting diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening condition in which there really is no cure in most cases is scary. I can relate to your difficulties in getting used to CPAP, finally getting the hang of it and then "hitting the wall".

According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - anxiety and/or depression is always the result of our "Automatic Negative Thoughts". If you can identify what your thought(s) are, you can change them by writing a believable, true statement.

A good book on CBT is Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David Burns. Here is a worksheet that you can copy and practice turning distressing thoughts that cause anxiety into realistic, believable statements that help put you back in the driver's seat.

[URL=http://www.4shared.com/document/2W ... .pdf[/img][/url]

I am trying a new hosting service, so please let me know if the link is bad - you can PM me if you wish. I have every faith you will feel better if you try out the CBT ideas. Hugs, Laurie

[Muse-Inc]

Wow, I'm sorry, your life sounds pretty challenged right now! I went thru a period just after I started getting restful sleep when I had the sleep dreads...they disappeared eventually but do recur now and then...I blame 'em on the troll dancing up and down on my shoulder whispering evil things and ranting -- I try to ignore it and keep on keeping on. Events up, head cold...leaks up too? and then pressure...all so frustrating. Congested? Getting head colds really messes with our therapy. I'm healing from a head cold and my congestion is markedly reduced so now I need to reduce my initial pressure as my AHI is dropping, however, leak is up and I've been fighting with my mask...if I sleep on my side, no leak but with my still unhappy, not fully healed, shoulder I need to sleep on my back and thus the leaks .

Kids, gotta love 'em, takes so long to grow a thick hide against the slings and arrows of thoughtless others.

[Big S]

I've seen your posts and know how hard you've worked at your therapy. I hit a lot of walls in the first couple of months but I somehow managed to hang in there. I believe you will too. The first three months are supposed to be the hardest and you're almost over the hump. I went to a support group meeting after about a month of therapy and I met a guy who told me he struggled with his first machine for 20 years before deciding to try another. Twenty years! Almost laughable. He didn't shelve it, he used it, and struggled for 20 years! He kind of looked like an older weathered cowboy who spent a lot of time on the range, sitting around the campfire at night, eating his beans and bits of bacon and trying to suck on his balky cpap machine. I wanted to hire the guy on the spot. Anyway hang in there CCnut. Even though you are still a newbie like me, you have touched many many with your activity on this site. Good luck.

[robysue]

ChelseaChestnut,

It really does sound like you've hit a wall. But with some help from those who love you (including that dear darling daughter of yours who added to today's misery) and your friends both here and in the real world, you'll figure out a way to get over, under, or through that wall before too long. In the meantime, try to scrap as much of yourself off that wall and start putting the pieces back together.

For the past week or so, my ahi's have been going up. I only get averages on my machine. For the first few weeks, they were below 5, now they are up to 18. I have been fighting a minor head cold and thought that might be contributing to how tired and off I feel. I have also a horrible looking sore on the back of my throat that is making it hurt.

Sounds like a call to the sleep doctor's office might be in order. They say you can only use machine data for trends, but if you're 7-day average AHI has gone from 5 to 18, that's a bonafide trend in the WRONG direction. Have you got Encore Viewer to see what any of the daily data looks like? It would be worth knowing if the AHI skyrocketed when you came down with the cold, stomach ache, anxiety attack, and so on.

A call to your PCP is also in order to have a look/see at that sore on the back of your throat that you're talking about. Sounds painful. And sounds like CPAP is likely to make it more painful. There are things that can be prescribed for numbing the mouth or throat. Maybe that would help the pain. And you need to rule out any infections causing that sore too---or find out if you need an antibiotic.

[ChelseaChestnut]

Sounds like a call to the sleep doctor's office might be in order. They say you can only use machine data for trends, but if you're 7-day average AHI has gone from 5 to 18, that's a bonafide trend in the WRONG direction. Have you got Encore Viewer to see what any of the daily data looks like? It would be worth knowing if the AHI skyrocketed when you came down with the cold, stomach ache, anxiety attack, and so on.

I don't have the software, too much mone to spend on it right now. I do have a follow up appt with my sleep doctor next week on tuesday and they want me to bring my sd card from my machine, so I am pretty sure we will figure if I need some pressure adjusting.

[cflame1]

Chelsea... PM Uncle_Bob and ask nicely... he's got the software.

[Geminidream]

Hi CCNut,
Your therapy has it a wall and its normal...so take a a deep breath and reapproach. It sounds like you have a lot of things working against you so its no wonder you are miserable. I also felt like I hit a wall after about 3 months....then had a few dread sleep nights between now and then. Like others will caution, you really need to figure out why your AHI is going up so drastically. Its probably the key to the side issues. Stick with it and it will all level out eventually. I am close to being on CPAP therapy for a year now, and the last 3-4 months I have really felt like my old self again. Amazing what that little thing called breathing does for ya

You are surrounded by others who can help you so that's a good place to be.

Good luck!

[Janknitz]

A cold can really make things tough. You might just have to get through the cold and then things might improve a lot.

We all hit that wall at some point. I remember a time just dreading going to bed but then things got a lot better. Hang in there.

[sister]

Hi, please hang in there, there are better days ahead,believe me. I too have seen ups and downs and mostly downs since I've been on c-pap therapy.
But I still believe there will soon be a day when I can do as well as so many on this forum are doing.
I have been trying on and off since 2006 and my dr. says he has never had a patient try as hard as I have.
Believe that you can conquer this,I know that I can.
Yes, there will be times when things are down but we have to look to the good times.
A doctor that I used to work for asked me once,'I hate to grow old,don't you"? I immediately replied,'no I don't,look at the alternative'.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Have a good night!

[Cindy Lou Who]

Oh Ouch! I'm also recovering from a 7-day bout of cold/flu. All my numbers went up too. Now that I'm not coughing so much, and sinus congestion is lessening, the numbers are slowly...so slowly falling back towards a more normal range.
Hang in there. And please get that sore throat looked at.
You might try a nasal rinse. Experiment with increasing your temperature setting. That helped open my sinuses and made coughing productive, not dry. I found 78-degrees F. worked the best. It wasn't too hot, my nose didn't get too wet, but my scratchy throat and tight lungs felt better.

Also sympathize with how your are feeling! Women are taught to put others first, sometimes to the point that it makes us ill. It's hard or impossible to 'be there' for others if you cannot be-there first for yourself.
Take time to do something that will relax you and lift your mood. Listen to your favorite music, do a relaxing activity, re-read a much loved book, go for a long walk with a good friend who is a good listener! You deserve to take time to lavish some LOVE on yourself.
Good luck, hope you feel better very soon! And let us know how you are doing!
Cindy