Fear response?

[bigdaddy]

Although I spent three hours during my sleep study with a mask on with the adjusting pressure, now that I have my own bi-pap with humidifier set at 14/10 and a full face mask I'm having trouble.

During the sleep study the nurse gave me a nose only mask and the feeling of drowning and the temperature was overwhelming. I got scared that it wouldn't work and I'd have to live with apnea and the health risks until it killed me. She gave me a full face mask and it seemed to work.

At home the first night with my new machine and I was able to adjust the mask without pressure, but turning on the air made me light headed and I began to tremble from what seemed like fear. I had the feeling the next day just before taking off on a 737 to Denver. I'm not afraid to fly, but I do get a little anxious when I haven't flown for awhile.

When I tried to sleep with the machine, I got the same feeling, I got hot to the point of sweating and frustrated that it wasn't working. That I wasn't even able to put the mask on my face with pressure active.

I tried putting on the mask then turning on the machine, and had the overwhelming feeling of fear and claustrophobia. Then I tried with the air flowing and I couldn't get it to my face. The smell of the hospital just made it worse.

Is there anything I can do to get past the fear or the smell or the anxiety that this won't work for me and just get started? I really need this to work and I'm afraid it won't. Help.

[JORDAN EVANS]

Claustrophobia is common.I would try Nasal Pillows

[Colorado Jan]

Is there some reason you need a full-face mask? Because I agree...you should really start with a nasal pillows system if you can and work up from there. The Swift would be a good one. Nothing around your eyes at all. Not that much on your face.

And don't wait until bedtime to wear your mask. Try just sitting around in the daytime listening to music or something way BEFORE you need to go to bed. Just 15 minutes here and there, just to get acclimated. Start without the machine even being on...then progress to being AWAKE, but having the CPAP on to just get used to it a bit more. Then you can go to sleep with it on.

Have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety issues? Perhaps there is some sort of anti-anxiety drug that would be good for you. You might just need it short-term to get you through this transition.

Good luck and try your best to stick with it! Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!

Jan in Colo.

[ozij]

Great suggestions from Jan.

Turn on the air hold the mask near you face, promising yourself you won't hold it closer that comfortable, and you won't strap it on, etc. Bring it closer to your face only as far as you feel comfortable, and always with the air blowing. The point is to convince yourself that you are not going to do anything that will smother and suffocate you, you are not going to use force.

It's a long term thing, take it one step at a time, and don't get discouraged if you don't use the stuff for many hours in the beginning. Better getting used to it gradually - some people take weeks or months, than not using it at all.

For the smell:
Soak mask and hose in warm soapy water for 30-60 minutes, and let them air dry.

If your machine is new, run it (without you or the mask) for an hour or two or a long as it takes for the smell to dissipate.

I had a loaner with a very chemical smell that I got rid of by washing the filter (again, following the instructions it the manual).

Good luck, and keep us posted.

O.

[twistedcherokee]

I started out with a FF and love it. I could not stand a nasal only, I don't breath out of my nose very often. I think that I have been breathing thru my nose more often, and beleive it has to do with the heated humidifier that I use.

Toby

[Deaparate]

I have only used my C-PAP two nights now and the first night I ripped if off while half asleep. I'm not sure why and I barely remember doing it. Last night I wore it for about an hour and began to panic so I got up and cried for about thiry minutes beause of the dread of night. I finally put it back on and kept it on for about eight hours. What a great achievment that was for me. I really want this to work but I have such a fear of something being on my face. Not only is there something on my face now but it is blowing air and I can't stand a fan blowing on me. It takes my breath. Then there is the problem with blowing the air back out of my nose. My air ways including my nares are really narrow. I feel like my lungs are haveing to work so hard. I was trilled to find this web site. I thought that I was developing a mental problem. Now I see that there are other people haveing some of the same experiences that I am and this is normal.

[bigdaddy]

I tried the nasal mask and I couldn't stop breathing with my mouth and it gave me that drowning feeling. I examined the way I breath when relaxed and noticed that I breath through my mouth a lot. The full face mask was all that worked during my sleep study. I think once I lose some weight that may change and I may be able to switch.

Can I wear the mask without air running? I thought there was a risk of CO2 rebreathing. I guess if I'm awake, that shouldn't be a problem though. I think this may help. This is my first night home and I'm thinking of giving it another shot. If it doesn't work tonight, I won't be discouraged because I have a plan now to try it also while awake.

I have not talked to my doctor. My Dad did suggest this. I did read that sometime a Tylenol PM can help with the falling asleep with the machine running, but of course I don't think that'll help with the anxiety. I know now it's a mental thing, but I can work up to it.

I agree that gradually is better than not at all, and I will make this work. Your suggestions will be put to good use. I thank you all and will keep you posted.

As for "Deaparate", You've already done more than I have. Trust me, what you've done is an accomplishment and use that to your advantage. Please keep us posted... Consider us in this together. We CAN and WILL do it. Let's encourage each other!

Please keep the postings coming if you have any suggestions or encouragement.

[Deaparate]

Well last night was the third night for me with my C-PAP. After reading the comments from this web site I was so incouraged. I was more than ever sure that I could learn to use this machine. At first I really had to psch. my self up for it but I relaxed a whole lot faster. I forced myself to stay calm and I actually kept it on all night. Now I have to be honest, I still woke up several times and wanted to take it off, but I managed to talk my self out of it. As far as a sleep aid, I was afraid to use a one. The phy. gave me a RX for Ambian. The first night it made me so sleepy I didn't realize that I was taking it off and that needed to put it back on. I also have a fear of going in to a deep sleep due to the medication and not knowing if something goes wrong with this machine and I won't wake up. Yes I have a fear of a machine that is supposed to make me breath suffocating me. I actually did feel better today. I agree with one of the other people. If God brings you to it he will get you through it. I know the physical problems that sleep apnea can cause and I don't want to have these problems. It will take years from your life. I am a nurse and I see the results that can possible come out of long term sleep apnea. I don't want that to happen to me. Hang in there we can do this. Just take one night at a time.

[bigdaddy]

I did it! I made it through the night with the mask on and running. 7 hours according to the machine.

I took your suggestions and got used to just the mask, then turned on the machine without putting on my face. Just getting a little closer every few seconds. Just getting used to the air flowing. Then I put the mask on while watching TV. It was running and I tried it for 10 or 15 minutes. Then took a break and did it again.

Then I went to bed. Got relaxed and put it on and tried to go to sleep. It took a while to get to sleep but the next thing I remember is waking up about 5 am and taking off the mask for some reason. I then put it back on till getting out of bed.

I felt good. I don't know if it's because the rest I got or if I was just so happy that I did it that I felt better.

I just need to get used to doing it every night and finish getting used to the breathing difference, but I am excited now that i can do it. No more being concerned about snoring and bothering others and worrying about getting enough sleep.

Thank to all of you for your encouragement and suggestion on getting started in a methodical and consitant way. Your suggestions truly were the key. Hopefully this was the first night of many with successful sleep.

[yardbird]

bigdaddy-

WONDERFUL news!
Having sufferred from panic attacks years and years ago I can only say that it is difficult to overcome at times when you don't know the root cause. You're doing well. And... the good news is... the fears can and DO go away if you address them rather than simply running from them. When you slowly introduce yourself to the sound and the air of the mask, it becomes more of a welcome friend rather than a stranger. When you see the mask and hear and feel the air you can think of a place that makes you feel good, with fresh air and calming breezes.
The biggest part of the visualization is that you are being absolutely TRUTHFUL with yourself. The mask... while it may be a new experience for you... IS your friend and it does bring you fresh (filtered) air and calming breezes (that allow you to sleep properly) that will rejuvinate you. That's the TRUTH.
It's also the TRUTH that MANY people have some misgivings about the mask in the beginning. Nice to know you're not alone? I would venture a guess that MOST of us have been through this period of adjustment. Some folks have stronger emotional feelings about it than others, but that's because we're all different (which is a GOOD thing! hehehe)

So take heart. You're doing wonderfully. And you're making a new friend that can only do good things for you.

[ozij]

Way to go, bigdaddy!
That's wonderful.

O.

[kikisue]

I'm pretty new to CPAP myself - been "lurking" in the forum for about 3 weeks, and finally registered.

I just wanted to encourage both of you to hang in there - I really had a tough time for the first week, using just a couple hours a night. I finally slept through for 2 nights, then had a "relapse". I've had a couple more ups and downs since - so I just wanted to encourage you that if it happens to you - don't let it discourage you. Just keep plugging at it. It does seem to be getting better for me. At first, I couldn't imagine breathing against the air all night. Now, I barely notice it and even wondered last night if it was working - had to double check!

I've been using the Breeze nasal pillows - but mouth breath, so got an Ultra Mirage FF mask. Thanks for the post about it, DKeat - I got some good tips from it. I'm getting it to seal okay, as long as I don't move! Still tweaking, and use the Breeze with my mouth taped if I have problems. I've also got info on the Hans Rudolph, thanks to Severeena - will look at that when my budget permits, maybe after the holidays.

So bottom line - keep at it and when you need a laugh - just read one of mike moran's posts - they really help me keep a sense of humor about the whole thing!

Karen (kikisue)

[Born Tired]

I did it! I made it through the night with the mask on and running. 7 hours according to the machine..

Great going, bigdaddy! I don't even remember how long it was before I made it over 7 hours with the mask on. Just remember there will be good days and bad days, so don't get discouraged when another bad day pops up. Keep reading this forum and learn all you can (while being highly entertained at times ).
Esther
__

[deaparate]

Bigdaddy, My machine has got some kind of setting to where if you just put it on it will come on automatically as you start to breath through it. I found that if I hook it up and get the last stap ready to be put on that I never fill the harshness of the air blowing so hard. I just hold it to my face and as I feel comfortable I go ahead and connect that last stap. The machine seem to automatically work with me instead of against me for some reason. I have made it through five nights now. I feel alot better physically when I get up. The aches and pains are gone compared to how I did feel. Keep it up and feed of the positive results that you have had so far. You can do!

[bigdaddy]

I'm still using the machine a feeling better. Not tired during the day. That's the only real difference I feel so far. For some reason I am having a few issues.

What's the deal with humidifiers? I can't decide if this thing is good or not. I like the idea of getting humidified air, but on the lowest heat setting I feel like I'm deep in a rain forest sometimes. Does it still humidify without the heat? I turned it off last night and actually enjoyed the cooler air. What's up with this.

I also seem to be taking off the mask about 6-7 hours of sleep. Then I fully wake up and put the mask back on, but then I start all over getting comfortable with the mask on and getting used to the air and such. What can I do to help myself get used to keeping the mask on all night.

Each night I also find myself wondering "is this going to work tonight or am I going to freak out, or take it off, or some other problem." I know I can do it and I'm not afraid anymore, but there is that nagging voice that something might get screwed up somehow. Is this an unfounded concern?

Anyway, it's working and I'm glad. Just trying to get used to it. Is there a point where all this goes away and it's just "normal" or second nature?

Thanks again!